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Blogs by Niki Collins-Queen
Life Lessons
7/1/2012 6:50:33 AM
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross joins with David Kessler in their book “Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living” to guide us through life lessons and live fully in every moment.
“Life Lessons” is Elizabeth's eighteenth book. It's a special gift as it's the last book she wrote before her death in 2004. She had a stroke on Mother's Day in 1995 that left her paralyzed and next to death's door for many months. But she did not die. She says she's still learning the lessons of life. God is shrewd; her head was not affected by the strokes. She can't use her left leg and arm but she can talk and think. It's her final lesson. She must work on receiving, on learning to say thank you. To be nurtured rather than nurturing. Throughout her life, she gave and gave, but never learned to receive. She must learn patience and surrender.
Elizabeth says each of us has a Mother Teresa and a Hitler. The Mother Teresa is the best in us and the Hitler is the worst in us. The goal in life is to find the best, get rid of the worst and be authentic by standing in our truth. Admitting we have the capacity to be inauthentic and carry negativity is essential so we can work on the problem and release it. It's not always easy to find out who we are authentically. The reality of the world is that some relationships don't work out; there are supposed to be disagreements and disappointments.
David says the grandest kind of perfection of who we are includes being honest about our dark side and imperfections. Elizabeth says the windstorms of life, makes us who we are. We are here to heal one another. Most of us spend a lot of energy keeping a lid on our unfinished business. We want unconditional love. To be loved for who we are rather than what we do or don't do. However, when we feel unloved, it is not because we are not receiving love; it's because we are withholding love from ourselves and others. Love has to come from within. We can't solve all our loved ones problems but we can try to be there for them.
In working with the dying and the living it became clear to Elizabeth and David that most of us are challenged by the same lessons: authenticity, love, relationships, loss, power, guilt, time, fear, anger, play, patience, surrender, forgiveness and happiness. The fourteen chapters reveal the truth about theses topics, shows we are put on the earth to learn the lessons, we are not alone and we are all connected. Also to watch love grow and to see how relationships enrich us.
I attended one of Elizabeth's five-day Living, Dying and Transition workshop in the early 80s. It had a profound effect on me and changed how I viewed the world. She showed us how everyone has the capacity to love others unconditionally and that it is our unfinished business that keeps us from doing so. In her workshop she created an environment where we were encouraged to express our hurt and rage in an atmosphere of love and acceptance, so we could be done with it. Feelings were not talked about but felt. If sad, we cried; if angry, we were given a rubber hose and an old telephone book and told, "Have at it!" I was skeptical about what this outpouring of negativity would accomplish. Yet it worked. I was amazed how angry, depressed people transformed themselves into radiant, loving persons right before my eyes. I realized in this workshop that we are all connected and that our life stories are much the same.
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