Blogs by Karen L Wilson
Autumn Lingers
5/9/2012 6:19:50 PM
Autumn thoughts about nature and nurture.
So far this winter we have been blessed with the lingering of Autumn: gold and red leaves still cling to branches. Though many have fallen, yet more remain. The temperature is a balmy 19 degrees Celsius. That means that washing hung out in the early morning is dry by noon. How I wish this balmy weather will last forever.
On Sunday we celebrate Mothers' Day. I have been a mother for forty three years now and my first born is still a mystery to me.Looking back to when she was born I thought I could be super Mum: hold down a full-time job and care for my baby simultaneously. I was wrong. My daughter and I never really bonded. There was little time to play with her and for her to get to know me. During the week she stayed at her grandparents' house. At the time I was unable to get her into a creche. Subsequently I paid her grandmother a salary for her care. It was only briefly that I saw my daughter during the week. On weekends my husband and I looked after her. By Sunday our daughter temporarily accepted our ways of caring for her Unfortunately my daughter bonded more with her grandmother. Afterall I was a novice mother,never having experience caring for babies while growing up.
My heart was torn apart, especially when the grandmother came to visit us in the weekend.It was too much for me to bear. Four months later I resigned from my job so I was the primary carer. It was already too late: the bond she established with her grandmother remained forever. I remember on Mothers' Day in the 1990s when her grandmother visited: on that day when photos were taken of the family. My daughter refused to stand by my side.I begged her to be with me. Instead she chose her grandmother. How it hurt! I had done the best for my daughter but she still did not consider me as her real mother. Come this Mothers' Day I shall be in my seventieth year.Our daughter has invited me and my husband to dine at her house. Will she be warm with me? Give me a hug that means something? I doubt it.
I think back my book launch held on my birthday in March 2010. She does not sit at the front of the audience, but right at the back. We have a photo that shows her sitting on the steps - away from everyone else. No doubt she fearful of being recognised by one of her peers. I gave her a copy of my book "Gaining a Sense of Self". All she could say was: 'The best part was reading about how you and Dad met'. That was all.
I love her so much, and hope, one day she will acknowledge my love for her.Perhaps, after my death she will come to
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More Blogs by Karen L Wilson
• Ted's Itinerary - Monday, March 18, 2013
• Entertaining Ted - Thursday, March 14, 2013
• Entertaiing Ted - Thursday, March 14, 2013
• A Hectic Week Ahead - Monday, March 11, 2013
• Whew! - Monday, February 18, 2013
• The Christmas Season - Sunday, December 30, 2012
• Post Colonoscopy Operation - Thursday, November 29, 2012
• Post Colonoscopy Operation - Thursday, November 29, 2012
• Post Colonoscopy Operation - Thursday, November 29, 2012
• Fasting for the Procedure - Tuesday, November 27, 2012
• One Day at a Time - Wednesday, November 21, 2012
• Hurricane Sandy's Massiive Impact - Wednesday, October 31, 2012
• Update of Illness in the Family - Tuesday, October 30, 2012
• Illness in the Family - Thursday, October 25, 2012
• The Price of Getting Older - Friday, October 19, 2012
• Thursdays - Wednesday, October 10, 2012
• Abduction - Friday, September 28, 2012
• More Than a Coincidence - Monday, August 27, 2012
• Notes on My Recent Cruise in Europe - Wednesday, August 15, 2012
• Mindfulness Exercise - Sunday, August 12, 2012
• Cruising along the Danube and Rhine Rivers - Wednesday, August 01, 2012
• Honouring the Life of James Gavin Paterson - Wednesday, July 04, 2012
• 10 Days to Go - Saturday, May 26, 2012
• Autumn Lingers - Wednesday, May 09, 2012
• Holiday of a Life Time - Sunday, March 11, 2012
• Compassion for Native Animals - Saturday, February 18, 2012
• A Bit of Chichat - Monday, January 09, 2012
• Christmas Time - Friday, December 09, 2011
• Health Issues and Other Matters - Friday, October 07, 2011
• What's Happening in Hobart - Sunday, September 11, 2011
• Wake-Up Call - Saturday, August 27, 2011
• The Connection between Schoolyard and Workplace Bullying - Friday, August 19, 2011
• Winter in Tasmania - Friday, August 05, 2011
• A Synopsis of My Talk at the Republic Bar on 3rd July - Monday, July 04, 2011
• The Rigours of Life - Friday, July 01, 2011
• Update on My writing and Other matters - Wednesday, June 22, 2011
• Such Is Life - Wednesday, June 15, 2011
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