Moving – Part 2
After I so elegantly got even with my family (buying pretty things I really didn’t need because they kept stuff none of us really needed), it was time to arrange for several things to happen.
We had electricity on already, which was good, but the phone service was not on yet, for some strange reason. We had called in time and made an appointment, but somehow the line was not up. The satellite people had not been here either, even though they were supposed to, early in the morning.
However, which few items we had brought were here and most of them unpacked or put up. The rest of our household was still in storage in another state and it would be a good three to four weeks before we would have time to go and collect it. This meant we would sleep on air mattresses for a while, which we had not bought yet. (I was too busy to buy stuff I did not need for revenge and the guys were too busy fighting with the couch set).
Off to the store again! No big deal, there was a big store no more than six minutes from our home. We rushed in, bought the airbeds, batteries and a few things that crossed our path and rushed home, beat and tired, ready to lie down and sleep.
The first thing we noticed was that the batteries would not fit. Instead of size C batteries, like announced on the outer box of the airbeds, we needed size D. Back to the store, grab the batteries, a box of make-up, since I was there anyway and a box of candy, for the nerves…
At home we loaded the batteries into the little slot, which proved to be hard to open and then pushed the button. A lot of noises started like a vacuum cleaner or some other machinery, but the beds filled up with air and we were happy – for about fifty minutes. That’s when we noticed that all the air had found a way to escape and the beds were as flat as they had been when we pulled them out the box.
Of course by now the customer service counter would be closed and we would not be able to exchange the beds until the next day. We did what we had to do, we bought another set, a little more expensive, since the same brand was not available on the shelf any more. Of course those airbeds required different batteries…
Around 01:00 am we finally were able to get some sleep.
The peace we had to sleep did not last very long, at 2:30 am loud bumps and thuds woke us up and then someone was constantly running through the apartment upstairs. After forty minutes we were reasonably pissed and my husband had to climb up the stairs to demand quiet.
Being the great guy he is he climbed upstairs, knocked, several times and then told the short chubby guy to keep the noise down.
"That’s the baby, he’s bored," he answered and grinned.
"Do what you have to and keep it down!" my hero answered and returned to bed.
Only hours later someone knocked on our door. Sleepy and in no mood to get up I rolled over and searched for the alarm clock. 7:30 am!
When the knocking didn’t stop I slipped in my terry-cloth robe, probably the only piece of clothing that made any woman look absolutely unattractive, and went to answer this door.
"Health department!" a heavy six-foot woman in probably the filthiest uniform I’ve ever seen declared and took a step toward me.
"And how could I help you?" I asked and wondered if she thought that she could turn in her uniform with me to have it cleaned.
"I sent you a letter and announced that I would be here today to check on the baby," she explained, putting her big hand on my apartment door in an attempt to push it open.
"Huh? No, not me, you’ve got the wrong apartment," I answered, pushing against the door from my side. I am not really a Hobbit and not a whuz either, but I did not have much of a chance against Miss Giant.
"You have had your last warning, step aside, I demand to see that baby right now!" she said and pushed harder against the door.
By now of course I was not very happy and in no polite mood.
"Look, we just moved in, you have the wrong apartment, get lost!" I countered, pushing against my side of the door with my arm and shoulder by now.
"Why don’t you just let me in and get it over with! I’m afraid that I’ll have to collect the baby, judging by the way you act," she tried to persuade me.
"You want to see our baby? Hang on!" I said, turned my head and called for our youngest son. Only moments later our fourteen-year-old, six-foot-one, two-hundred-twenty-pound baby appeared behind me.
"This is our baby. You want him, go ahead, he’d like a day out on the town!" I offered and then added, " he can take you to a cleaners and you can get this filthy uniform cleaned, health department, ha!"
"No, no, I am looking for the little baby! Look here, Miss Parker, this is no way to act, you are wasting precious time," she explained, ignoring my remark about her uniform.
"I am not Miss Parker!" I shouted and turned, calling "purse, now!" over my shoulder. My son quickly handed me my purse and furious I fished out my ID card and held it under her nose.
"Oh, ehem, I, well, this must be…" she stuttered and looked at me as if I was a ghost or something.
"This must be the time where you realize that you are bothering the wrong people, so if you’d excuse me, I have to get back to bed!" the triumph in my voice couldn’t have been missed, but still she did not let me shut the door.
"So, where is Miss Parker?" she asked.
"How am I supposed to know?" I was at the end of my rope and patients was a word I did not even remember anymore.
"Well, yes, I suppose. You just make sure that I don’t have to come back!" she let go of my door and left. I stood there, speechless in my so very unattractive terry cloth robe, my hair a mass of tangled fur and our next door neighbor came out, looked at me, up and down and wished me a good morning. Then he turned around and went back inside, probably to tell his wife that some monster had moved in next door.
Oh well, I had a husband and a child to make suffer for it….
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