|
Robert A. Mills, click here
to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.
|
|
|
|
|
Blogs by Robert A. Mills
THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON ME
4/21/2009 6:30:12 AM
I used to think Texas was the greatest state in the Union. After all, I grew up thinking that’s John Wayne came from. And Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Johnny Mack Brown, Randolph Scott, Gary Cooper, Lash LaRue, Rex Allen, Tim Holt, Tom Mix, Buster Crabbe, Buck Jones, James Arness, “Red” Berry, William Boyd, Wild Bill Elliott, Hoot Gibson, Gabby Hayes, Jock Mahoney, Ken Maynard, Willie Nelson, Clayton Moore, Tim McCoy, Audie Murphy, Slim Pickens, Duncan Renaldo and Pancho, Tex Ritter, Bob Steele, William S. Hart—shoot, man, Texas!—that’s where all great Americans came from, isn’t it?
Texas! The Lone Star State! Deep in the heart of!. Don’t fence me in! Streets of Laredo! Remember the Alamo! Home of the Long Horns and the Dallas Cowboys! San Antonio Rose! Texas—where men are men and the sheep are nervous!
So, what’s all this stuff about Texas seceding from the Union?
Texas governor Rick Perry, a former cotton grower who used to get paid by the federal government just to store his crop, called the group of Tea Party protesters in Austin last week “a great crowd!”—while they waved American flags and screamed: “Secede!”
Maybe they should. After all, Texas is bigger than most Third World countries and in some places looks like them. Besides, it already has its own language. You can’t open a law firm or a used car lot over there unless decimos el español.
During Andrew Jackson’s administration in the 1830’s, South Carolina seriously considered pulling out of the Union, and most of that had to do with tariffs and slavery, pretty much as it does now. The tariff part, then as today, makes little sense (Texas, like Alaska, gets back more than it sends to Washington,) and as far as slavery goes, the federal minimum wages applies to everyone, even those who couldn’t find the passport office if they were eligible to obtain one.
Maybe Texans are the most patriotic Americans there are. Why wouldn’t they want to pull out of this crummy country and set sail on their own? What right has a brand new president got trying to get the upper 5% to pay their fair share of taxes, while giving the remaining 95% a long overdue break? John Wayne, a truly great Texan, knew exactly what he was talking about when he went around calling everyone “Pilgrim.”
But you can ask Willie Nelson or any of those other fabulous Texas patriots: what has this country ever done for you? No question about it, taxation according to the Internal Revenue Code is the biggest hosing we’ve ever had, and it sure ain’t what the Founding Fathers had in mind (how many of ‘em came from Texas, anyway?) Even the Constitution had to be amended to accommodate it, and Texas was the 9th state of the 48 then in existence to ratify it (they held out longer than they did at the Alamo.) Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Utah rejected the amendment and never did ratify it.
So, where are we today? Gov. Rick Perry says, “We joined the Union because they gave us the right to bail out if we wanted to” (an absolute fairy tale,) and of course, they will never so much as make the attempt.
There’s a lot of truth to the old Texas saws: you never bite the hand that feeds you, outta the fryin’ pan inta the fire, or, as Major “King” Kong (Slim Pickens, in Dr. Strangelove) might say while ridin’ the bomb to that Great Corral in the Sky: “Eeeeyyyy, yyyiiiii, hhheeeeyyyyy, aawwwwrrrrkkkkk, yyyiii . . . “
In the meantime, reflect on what Gail Collins eloquently said in her brilliant column on the Austin tea party in last week’s New York Bible, “We don’t want to blame all Texans for the high jinks [across the country.] It’s a state full of lovely people, three-fourths of whom, according to a recent Rasmussen Reports poll, have no desire whatsoever to secede from the United States. . . . But Perry really understands how that other quarter feels.”
He sure as shootin’ does, pardner!
Comments (2)
More Blogs by Robert A. Mills
• CANTANKEROUS - Saturday, May 18, 2013
• BOATS - Saturday, May 11, 2013
• BALANCE - Saturday, May 04, 2013
• USPS - Saturday, April 27, 2013
• TAXES - Saturday, April 20, 2013
• AUDITION - Saturday, April 13, 2013
• NASHVILLE - Saturday, April 06, 2013
• BOXER - Saturday, March 30, 2013
• COLUMNS - Monday, March 25, 2013
• VIETNAM - Saturday, March 16, 2013
• ΣAM - Saturday, March 09, 2013
• WHOA! - Saturday, March 02, 2013
• TWO - Saturday, February 23, 2013
• QUITTER - bonus - Tuesday, February 19, 2013
• GHOSTS - Saturday, February 16, 2013
• VALENTINE - Wednesday, February 13, 2013
• FBI - Saturday, February 09, 2013
• WOOLLEY - Saturday, February 02, 2013
• GRUMPY - Saturday, January 26, 2013
• FORMAL - Saturday, January 19, 2013
• PATTY - Saturday, January 12, 2013
• OFFENDED - Saturday, January 05, 2013
• LOVE - Saturday, December 29, 2012
• CHRISTMAS - Wednesday, December 26, 2012
• PEPE - Saturday, December 22, 2012
• TIME - Saturday, December 15, 2012
• TIME - Saturday, December 15, 2012
• UGA - Saturday, December 08, 2012
• MASS - Saturday, December 01, 2012
• SLF - Saturday, November 24, 2012
• THANKSGIVING- a bonus column - Wednesday, November 21, 2012
• ASSASSINATION - Saturday, November 17, 2012
• POLL - Saturday, November 10, 2012
• YOGI - Wednesday, November 07, 2012
• VOTE - Saturday, November 03, 2012
• REACH - Saturday, October 27, 2012
• WASTELAND - Saturday, October 20, 2012
• 58% - Saturday, October 13, 2012
• WACKO - Saturday, October 06, 2012
• REVIST - Thursday, October 04, 2012
• DEBATE - An addendum - Wednesday, October 03, 2012
• CRASH - Saturday, September 29, 2012
• VEEP - Saturday, September 22, 2012
• BUGLE - Saturday, September 15, 2012
• DELTA - Saturday, September 08, 2012
• ANNIVERSARY - Saturday, September 01, 2012
• INCA DINKA DO - Saturday, August 25, 2012
• METH - Saturday, August 18, 2012
• PHELPS - Saturday, August 11, 2012
• UPDATE EXTRA - Wednesday, August 08, 2012
• CHICKEN - Saturday, August 04, 2012
• OLYMPICS - a review - Tuesday, July 31, 2012
• SUMMERTIME - Saturday, July 28, 2012
• SHOOT! - Saturday, July 21, 2012
• PUN - Saturday, July 14, 2012
• DECISION - Saturday, July 07, 2012
• FREE - Saturday, June 30, 2012
• EXTRA! - Thursday, June 28, 2012
• ANNIVERSARY - Saturday, June 23, 2012
• REHEARSAL - Saturday, June 16, 2012
• BELMONT - Saturday, June 09, 2012
• 1% - Saturday, June 02, 2012
• DERIVATIVES - Saturday, May 26, 2012
• MEDICARE - Saturday, May 19, 2012
• CRIME! - Saturday, May 12, 2012
• POTTER - Saturday, May 05, 2012
• BUCKHOUSE - Saturday, April 28, 2012
• SOX! - Saturday, April 21, 2012
• SOL - Saturday, April 14, 2012
• CONTEST! - Saturday, April 07, 2012
• JUSTICE! - Saturday, March 31, 2012
• SUITS! - Saturday, March 24, 2012
• BOBBYS - Saturday, March 17, 2012
• NUNDA FUN DAYS – PT II - Saturday, March 10, 2012
• NUNDA FUN DAYS - PART 1 - Saturday, March 03, 2012
• HUTSON IS ONE! - Thursday, February 23, 2012
• TôT OU TARD! - Saturday, February 18, 2012
• MINE! - Saturday, February 11, 2012
• SOUP! - Saturday, February 04, 2012
• BUCK STOP - Saturday, January 28, 2012
• FOLLIES - Saturday, January 21, 2012
• MISFITS - Saturday, January 14, 2012
• MOHS - Saturday, January 07, 2012
• GOODBYE! - Saturday, December 31, 2011
• CITY SLICKERS -- Week of Dec 24 - Saturday, December 24, 2011
• HEADLINES - Saturday, December 17, 2011
• FIRE! - Saturday, December 10, 2011
• YEP, THE SKY IS FALLING! - Saturday, December 03, 2011
• HOBNAIL BOOTS - Saturday, November 26, 2011
• GIRL o’ WAR - Saturday, November 19, 2011
• CAIN IS NOT ABEL - Saturday, November 12, 2011
• JOHNNY CAN’T READ - Saturday, November 05, 2011
• HOLY SMOKE! - Saturday, October 29, 2011
• CELL PHONE - Saturday, October 22, 2011
• 60 MINUTES - Saturday, October 15, 2011
• BANKS CLOSED - Saturday, October 08, 2011
• ANNUAL PHYSICAL - Saturday, October 01, 2011
• A T W IN 80 MINUTES - Saturday, September 24, 2011
• HUTSON! - Saturday, September 17, 2011
• A TIME TO REMEMBER - Saturday, September 10, 2011
• TOMB AT ARLINGTON - Saturday, September 03, 2011
• GUNFIGHT AT DODGE CITY - Saturday, August 27, 2011
• NOTHNAGLE - Saturday, August 20, 2011
• A CLUTTERED BELFRY - Saturday, August 13, 2011
• CFS, FOR SHORT - Saturday, August 06, 2011
• THE MINSTREL SHOW - Saturday, July 30, 2011
• BIRTHDAY BOY RIDES (MARTA) AGAIN - Saturday, July 23, 2011
• KNOCK, KNOCK! WHO’S THERE? DEATH! - Saturday, July 16, 2011
• COMMENCEMENT - Saturday, July 09, 2011
• 234th 4th OF JULY - Saturday, July 02, 2011
• MIDNIGHT RIDE OF BOORTZ/DUPREE - Saturday, June 25, 2011
• OH, MY PAPA (& MAMA, TOO) . . . - Saturday, June 18, 2011
• ROLLING STONES - Saturday, June 11, 2011
• I DOUBLE D’AIR YA! - Saturday, June 04, 2011
• WOW—SUM BEACH - Monday, May 30, 2011
• GRAMP ON THE TOWN - Saturday, May 21, 2011
• THE UNSOCIABLE NETWORK - Saturday, May 14, 2011
• DING DONG, THE WICKED SUMBITCH IS DEAD - Saturday, May 07, 2011
• KATE PLUS MATE - Saturday, April 30, 2011
• GOP IS TRUMPED - Monday, April 25, 2011
• SNIFFING JOCKS IN ATLANTA - Saturday, April 16, 2011
• BOEHNER BLINKED - Saturday, April 09, 2011
• ROY ROGERS - Saturday, April 02, 2011
• SWEAT MORE, BLEED LESS - Saturday, March 26, 2011
• HE STILL DESERVES BETTER - Saturday, March 19, 2011
• AFTRA & EARTHQUAKES - Saturday, March 12, 2011
• ALEX IN WONDERLAND - Saturday, March 05, 2011
• THE OSCARS - 2011 - Wednesday, March 02, 2011
• FIRST BIRTHDAY, PART THREE - Thursday, February 24, 2011
• FIRST BIRTHDAY, PART II - Tuesday, February 22, 2011
• MY FIRST BIRTHDAY - Saturday, February 19, 2011
• IDES OF FEB, MINUS ONE DAY - Saturday, February 12, 2011
• FUN AT THE ICE PALACE - Saturday, February 05, 2011
• VACATION FROM HELL - Saturday, January 29, 2011
• BARBERSTOWN CASTLE - Saturday, January 22, 2011
• TRYING TO TAKE TUCSON – a bonus blog - Wednesday, January 19, 2011
• THE “BOBBYS” - Saturday, January 15, 2011
• POLITICS 101 - Saturday, January 08, 2011
• THE SNOWS OF KILIMANGEORGIA - Saturday, January 01, 2011
• WRITER'S CRAMP - Saturday, December 25, 2010
• BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY - Saturday, December 18, 2010
• PATTY ROBERTS, Part Two - Wednesday, December 15, 2010
• SECRET SANTA - Saturday, December 11, 2010
• PATTY ROBERTS - Thursday, December 09, 2010
• GETTING MY GOAT(EE) - Saturday, December 04, 2010
• IN FLIMFLAMS FIELDS . . . - Saturday, November 27, 2010
• PLYMOUTH ROCKS - Saturday, November 20, 2010
• LACED FOR ACTION - Saturday, November 13, 2010
• PEER PRESSURE - Saturday, November 06, 2010
• POLL CATS - Saturday, October 30, 2010
• FRIENDS - Saturday, October 23, 2010
• MY COUSIN DOUGIE - Saturday, October 16, 2010
• LOBSTER POTTED - Sunday, October 10, 2010
• A PRECIOUS GOLDEN BOBBY - Thursday, September 30, 2010
• THE KING IS DEAD (or at least in his throes) - Saturday, September 25, 2010
• STAND PAT - Saturday, September 18, 2010
• EGGS ROSAKOVIA - Saturday, September 11, 2010
• POLL CATS - Saturday, September 04, 2010
• KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE - Saturday, August 28, 2010
• (Bonus Blog) BUT WHO’S COUNTING? - Wednesday, August 25, 2010
• PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS - Saturday, August 21, 2010
• LUCKY STRIKE GREEN - Saturday, August 14, 2010
• AMERICARE vs. OBAMACARE - Saturday, August 07, 2010
• THE MAN WHO WOULD (temporarily) BE PRESIDENT - Saturday, July 31, 2010
• THE WEDDING - Saturday, July 24, 2010
• BUTTERFLIES ARE HAPPY - Saturday, July 17, 2010
• HATTERS ARE MAD - Saturday, July 10, 2010
• WHAT DOES THE BOSTON TEA PARTY AND THE REPUBLICAN TEA PARTY HAVE IN COMMON? - Friday, July 02, 2010
• MILQUETOAST HEADLINES - Saturday, June 26, 2010
• JAMIE DUPREE DESERVES BETTER - Saturday, June 19, 2010
• WHAT BARACK OBAMA AND HELEN THOMAS HAVE IN COMMON - Saturday, June 12, 2010
• GRANDNIECE LEIGH IS OFF TO HONDURAS - Saturday, June 05, 2010
• MEMORIAL HOLE-IN-ONE - Saturday, May 29, 2010
• GRANDNIECE EMILY GRADUATES - Wednesday, May 26, 2010
• THE MOON IS ROQUEFORT - Saturday, May 22, 2010
• LENO VS. O’BRIEN – TEMPEST IN A TV POT - Saturday, May 15, 2010
• A SHOT IN THE DARK - Thursday, May 06, 2010
• THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN – NOT - Saturday, May 01, 2010
• MARS OR BUST - Saturday, April 24, 2010
• A CUP OF TEA - Saturday, April 17, 2010
• THE TAXMAN COMETH - Friday, April 09, 2010
• DIPLOMAT OR DEMOCRAT, PART THREE - Saturday, April 03, 2010
• DIPLOMAT OR DEMOCRAT, PART TWO - Wednesday, March 31, 2010
• DIPLOMAT OR DEMOCRAT – PART ONE - Saturday, March 27, 2010
• . . . BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET - Wednesday, March 24, 2010
• A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME . . . - Saturday, March 20, 2010
• WHAT’S IN A NAME? - Wednesday, March 17, 2010
• SQUEAKY’S FLEETING FAME - Saturday, March 13, 2010
• ATTICA REVISITED - Wednesday, March 10, 2010
• MARK MY WORDS - Saturday, March 06, 2010
• RADIO HALL OF FAME - Wednesday, March 03, 2010
• THE BEST HAS COME (and gone) - Saturday, February 27, 2010
• SWEAT MORE, BLEED LESS - Wednesday, February 24, 2010
• MY FIRST BIRTHDAY - Saturday, February 20, 2010
• IDES OF FEB, MINUS 1 - Wednesday, February 17, 2010
• THE ENOLA GAY - Saturday, February 13, 2010
• SUPER BOWL XLIV 2010 - Wednesday, February 10, 2010
• EARTHQUAKE - Wednesday, February 03, 2010
• AURA LEE - CONCLUSION - Sunday, January 31, 2010
• THOUGHTS ON STATE OF THE UNION, ETC - Friday, January 29, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 21 - Wednesday, January 27, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 20 - Saturday, January 23, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 19 - Wednesday, January 20, 2010
• SLAINTE, AER LINGUS! - Bonus Blog - Monday, January 18, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 17 - Saturday, January 16, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 16 - Thursday, January 14, 2010
• BONUS BLOG – TRUTH BEHIND JAY LENO’S DEPARTURE FROM PRIME TIME - Monday, January 11, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 15 - Saturday, January 09, 2010
• BOGUS BUT PERTINENT EMAIL - Bonus Blog - Friday, January 08, 2010
• AURA LEE - PART 14 - Wednesday, January 06, 2010
• AURA LEE -- PART 13 - Saturday, January 02, 2010
• AURA LEE -- PART 12 - Wednesday, December 30, 2009
• ALEX'S SECOND CHRISTMAS - Bonus Blog - Monday, December 28, 2009
• AURA LEE - PART ELEVEN - Saturday, December 26, 2009
• AURA LEE - PART TEN - Wednesday, December 23, 2009
• ALEX'S FIRST CHRISTMAS - Monday, December 21, 2009
• AURA LEE - PART NINE - Saturday, December 19, 2009
• AURA LEE - PART EIGHT - Wednesday, December 16, 2009
• BONUS BLOG - CHESS WITH PATTON - Monday, December 14, 2009
• AURA LEE PART SEVEN - Saturday, December 12, 2009
• AURA LEE PART SIX - Wednesday, December 09, 2009
• AURA LEE PART FIVE - Saturday, December 05, 2009
• AURA LEE PART FOUR - Wednesday, December 02, 2009
• AURA LEE PART THREE - Saturday, November 28, 2009
• AURA LEE PART TWO - Wednesday, November 25, 2009
• AURA LEE PART ONE - Friday, November 20, 2009
• ROGUE'S GONE - Monday, November 16, 2009
• NEW YORK, NEW YORK PART VI (concluded) - Friday, November 13, 2009
• NEW YORKM NEW YORK PART V (continued) - Monday, November 09, 2009
• NEW YORK, NEW YORK PART IV (continued) - Friday, November 06, 2009
• NEW YORK, NEW YORK PT III (continued) - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
• NEW YORK, NEW YORK PT. II (continued) - Friday, October 30, 2009
• NEW YORK, NEW YORK! IT’S A WONDERFUL . . . - Monday, October 26, 2009
• THE ICE PICK BOY HOAX - Friday, October 23, 2009
• YES, WE ARE COLLEGIATE! - Monday, October 19, 2009
• BULL'S EYE! - Friday, October 16, 2009
• Nobel Peace Prize - Monday, October 12, 2009
• WHAT TO MY WONDERING EARS . . . - Friday, October 09, 2009
• EARLY A.M. CALL - Monday, October 05, 2009
• FLOOD STORY - Friday, October 02, 2009
• PLAY ON, GEORGIA! - Monday, September 28, 2009
• SEE Y’ALL, IF’N THE CREEK DOAN RISE! - Friday, September 25, 2009
• "POPCORN" THEATER REVISITED - Tuesday, September 22, 2009
• OPEN WIDE - Friday, September 18, 2009
• CAMELOT IS CLOSED - Monday, September 14, 2009
• HEALTH CARE, ANYONE? - Friday, September 11, 2009
• MARTYRDOM - Monday, September 07, 2009
• CLOSE THE POOL! - Friday, September 04, 2009
• THE WEEK BEFORE LABOR DAY - Tuesday, September 01, 2009
• MORNING JOE - Friday, August 28, 2009
• LIPS THAT TOUCH WINE . . . - Monday, August 24, 2009
• KING TEDDY - Friday, August 21, 2009
• SHOP TIL YOU FLOP - Monday, August 17, 2009
• MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER (?) - Friday, August 14, 2009
• THE BIRCH JOHN SOCIETY - Monday, August 10, 2009
• EVERYTHING I KNOW I LEARNED FROM SAM SPILLIOPOLIS AT THE PASTIME POOL ROOM - Friday, August 07, 2009
• SHORT PEOPLE - Tuesday, August 04, 2009
• ANDY ROONEY - Friday, July 31, 2009
• CHERNOBYL 7.28.09 - Monday, July 27, 2009
• ACTING STUPID 7.25.09 - Friday, July 24, 2009
• JUSTICE FOR SOTOMAYOR 7.21.09 - Monday, July 20, 2009
• ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL 7.18.09 - Friday, July 17, 2009
• THE NATIONAL RADIO HALL OF FAME - Tuesday, July 14, 2009
• BIRTH OF THE TEDDY BEAR 7.11.09 - Sunday, July 12, 2009
• (Close Counts) 0NLY IN HORSESHOES 7.7.09 - Monday, July 06, 2009
• MAD AS HELL . . . 7/4/09 - Friday, July 03, 2009
• 4th OF JULY - Wednesday, July 01, 2009
• HOBBIES? - Monday, June 29, 2009
• LONG WAY FROM BUCK HOUSE - Friday, June 26, 2009
• NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS - Monday, June 22, 2009
• REGINA BRETT IS NO LADY BRETT ASHLEY 6.20.09 - Friday, June 19, 2009
• JULY 4th's A-COMIN'! - Monday, June 15, 2009
• WINNING THE LOTTERY - Friday, June 12, 2009
• THE TONIGHT SHOW - Monday, June 08, 2009
• PERSONAL DISCOVERY CHANNEL - Friday, June 05, 2009
• Jon and Kate, The Great Debate - Monday, June 01, 2009
• Philadelhia Lawyers - Friday, May 29, 2009
• MEMORIAL DAY 2009 - Monday, May 25, 2009
• La Isla de los Alcatraces 5/24/09 - Saturday, May 23, 2009
• CONFESSIONS OF AN INTERNET IDIOT - Thursday, May 21, 2009
• HAIL TO THE BOSS - Monday, May 18, 2009
• SAY CHEESE . . . - Friday, May 15, 2009
• NUMBER, PLEASE . . . - Tuesday, May 12, 2009
• AND THEY'RE OFF! - Saturday, May 09, 2009
• Some Enchanted Evening - Tuesday, May 05, 2009
• Fox Boycotts Obama - Friday, May 01, 2009
• RAILROADED - Tuesday, April 28, 2009
• NAKED GNOMES - Friday, April 24, 2009
• THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON ME - Tuesday, April 21, 2009
• THE TEA PARTY - Friday, April 17, 2009
• HAPPY INCOME TAX DAY! - Wednesday, April 15, 2009
• THE FAIR TAX PLAN - Monday, April 13, 2009
• THE REST OF THE STORY 4/10/2009 - Friday, April 10, 2009
• A SPORTSMAN'S PARADISE - Monday, April 06, 2009
• IF AGENTS & BEST SELLERS ARE A DIME A DOZEN, HOW COME WRITERS AIN’T RICH? - Sunday, April 05, 2009
• BONUS BLOG 4.4.09 - Saturday, April 04, 2009
• TYCOON! - Tuesday, March 31, 2009
• End of Year Report - Sunday, November 02, 2008
|
|
