Blogs by Marcus Dino
Fifi's Thoughts
5/4/2008 9:03:10 AM
Big Brown may be almost a sure bet as Death and Taxes and if you want better health eat Yogurt, do some Yoga, and see a Yogi
GRRRRRR I'm so mad. I just saw my doctor and she told me that I need to lower my 'triglycerides.' It sounds like some kind of a dinosaur but really it's like a form of fat. Anyways my alien friend Alocki also examined me and also agreed with my doctor.
SOOOOOO I need to cut down on cookies, chips, chinese food (especially beef and brocolli which nutritionists say is as bad as a cheeseburger), and that delicious slice of pizza or two that I just have a craving for once in a while. I need to eat more yogurt and was told to do a little more yoga.
Well I'm sorry I'm not a 'yoga fanatic' and being a waitress I think I get enough exercise on the job. I also hit the health club 4 times a week. As for eating yogurt and substituting 'horse food' for all the good tasting stuff, it's never easy being a girl form the midwest and all that and liking 'real food', but I guuess I have no choice. No high triglyceride levels for me. So if you people want to keep your cholesterol and 'triglyceride' levels low, eat a lot of yogurt, do some yoga, and it may not hurt to see a yogi, you know for your mental and spiritual health. Or you can listen to Yogi Berra utter his famous 'malyprops.' He's just as funny as any comedian out there today.
You people realize 'Fifi' is just as an interesting a name in 1808 or 1908 as it is in 2008?
Sometimes I wish I could get out of this place
And live on a nice planet somewhere out there in space
The only problem is I'd need a big rocket
And I don't have enough change in my pocket
My poems are silly but they're my poems and not yours so there
You people agree that Fall is really a later part of summer and that spring is really a later part of winter?
I'm sorry but when I become a rich and famous actress I am not gonna accept being on that People Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful People list if they do indeed pick me. It smacks so much of lookism and even sexism. I mean you guys realize there's only like 10 of you and the rest are gals? I'd be upset that a not so good looking or real old person cannot be put on that list just because of his or her 'exterior.' If you want my opinion there are just as many talented 'not so good looking' people than there are 'good looking' people in Hollywood. I feel like kicking the butts of some of those People editors who started this 'Beautiful People' contest.
Speaking of horse food is there any more sure bet than Big Brown today? Saw the Derby yesterday and even after being given a poor post position he ran away from the field. I don't believe in gambling because I hate seeing people not work for their money but I may even consider going to the local race tracks out here and put a few bucks on Big Brown to win the Preakness and the Belmont. He looks like the surest thing to win the Triple Crown since Secretariat. Of course we all said it was a sure thing that Hillary would win the Presidency and the Pats would win the Super Bowl easily right? Still Big Brown is a lot better investment right now than YOUR HOUSE, THE STOCK MARKET, OR GETTING THAT FAT PAY RAISE AT YOUR JOB.
Sad to see that filly that came in second 'put down' after the Derby because she broke her legs. Hmmmm Eight Belles and Barbaro are put down after 2 major triple crown races, people shoot ducks, deer and rabbits, almost all of us eat meat or poultry, and Michael Vick goes to prison?
OHHHH TWO SUPER DOUBLE O STINKO MOVIES OF THE YEAR. Man I thought 2008 would be an improvement over 2007 but sadly things are reverting back to form. Must be because it's approaching summer and you know how bad movies get in the summer. JERRY GET ME THAT BIG ROLE SO I CAN SAVE THE MOVIE INDUSTRY.
First 'Made for Honor.' Made for Honnor is so bad that you wish they threw the script into that Loch Ness next to the chapel where the wedding took place or that the mythical Loch Ness monster came out and ate all the major characters, would have been far more entertaining. Made for Honor was so bad that Michelle Monaghan clearly looked "Gone Baby Gone' in this movie. Made for Honor was so bad that I wish that horse Patrick Dempsey was riding would have ridden from the movie screen into the theater and I could hop on it and ride out the theater faster than you can say 'made for honor'.
Second stinko movie.......'Then She Found me.' Then She Found me was so bad that taking a cue from actor Mathew Broderick's classic comedy the movie should have been called 'The Screenwriter takes the day off.' Please go back to funny comedies Mathew. Then She Found me was so bad that Bette Midler was actually friendly in this movie and not her surly sarcastic self. The script was so hillarious I guess Bette couldn't be mean in this role because she was laughing or crying so much inside. Then She Found me was so bad that Colin Firth actually screamed in the movie, getting away from his stiff tight lipped upper crust English Jane Austin/Emily Bronte character that he is known for. He sure looked natural when he screamed at Helen Hunt. Of course he didn't need no dialogue coach to get him in the mood, all he had to do is look at the script to 'rehearse' getting mad. Then She Found Me was so bad that you wish one of those tornadoes from 'Twister' which we all know Helen Hunt for would come down, pick everybody up and take them to the land of OZ. Would have been far far more entertaining. More than enough thoughts for now.
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