Blogs by Marcus Dino
FIFI'S THOUGHTS
6/21/2009 9:12:17 AM
MY 4 BRAINS WILL START REVIEWING ALL MY MOVIES IND IT IS TRULYTRULYTRULY A LOTTERY WORLD OUT THERE......
ALSO EEEEEEEEEEK THE 'MAD GEN YER' IS ALIVE................
I JUST READ SOME DISCOURAGING NEWS ON THE MACHINE FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT BIG IN THE SO CALLED LOTTERY CAREERS.......YOU KNOW MAKING IT BIG IS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY.....
THERE ARE LIKE A MILLION ACTORS AND ACTRESSES AND ONLY LIKE 500 FEATURE FILMS, 30 NEW TV SHOWS, AND 200 BROADWAY SHOWS MADE IN A YEAR.......I MEAN THE ODDS OF AN ACTOR OR ACTRESS APPEARING IN A HORRIBLE MOVIE, TV SHOW, OR BROADWAY PLAY ARE LIKE A MILLION TO ONE AND OMIGOSH THE MOVIES ARE SO HORRIBLE TODAY.....I SAW SOME WELL KNOWN ACTORS IN A TOTAL BOMB OF A MOVIE LAST NIGHT AND BESIDES ALOCK AND I WE'RE TALKING AN AUDIENCE OF ONE MORE PERSON AND THIS IS ON A PREMIER NIGHT........
THAT'S WHY YOU SEE SO MANY ENTERTAINERS WITH 'WILL WORK FOR FOOD SIGNS' AND IT'S EVEN WORSE DURING THE GREAT RECESSION....YOU KNOW THEY'RE JOINING LAWYERS AND INVESTMENT BANKERS LOOKING FOR WORK SITTING OUT THERE ON A FREEWAY EXIT....YOU SHOULD HELP THOSE ENTERTAINERS, THEY SHOW THEY HAVE A LOT OF TALENT WHEN THEY FIND WORK AND APPEAR IN A GOOD MOVIE......
FOR SCREENWRITERS AGAIN 500 MOVIES AND 30 TV SHOWS MADE PER YEAR AND I READ WHERE LIKE 1000000 SCREENPLAYS ARE WRITTEN PER YEAR......UGHHHHH......SO NOW THAT UNSHAVEN FELLA WHOM I SEE IN FRONT OF THE CONVENIENCE STORE EVERY DAY WHOM I'M PRETTY SURE I SAW AT AN OSCAR OR EMMY OR FILMSTAR AWARDS AWARDS CEREMONY AND IS BUMMING ME FOR A FEW BUCKS FOR 'FOOD'......WELL INSTEAD OF FOOD THE FELLA SHOULD HAVE A SIGN WRITTEN 'WILL WORK OR CAN YOU GIMME A FEW BUCKS AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE RIGHTS TO ONE OF MY UNPUBLISHED SCRRENPLAY....OMIGOSH I WOULD MORE THAN BE HAPPY TO GIVE THE FELLA A FEW BUCKS IN A HEARTBACK BECAUSE AS YOU PEOPLE PROBABLY KNOW A LOT OF US ACTORS' WRITE SCREENPLAYS ON THE SIDE....AND OF COURSE WE WOULD LIKE TO BE IN THE MOVIE OR TV SHOW....I MEAN WE HAVE TO USE OUR RIGHT CEREBRUMS LIKE CRAZY IN THIS CUTTHROAT DOG EAT DOG WORLD........
DITTO THE SAME FOR ASPIRING FILMAKERS....SOMETHING LIKE 50000 PEOPLE GRADUATE FROM 'FILM SCHOOLS' PER YEAR AND OF COURSE AS SAID BEFORE.....JUST 500 MOVIES ARE MADE PER YEAR......
AND YOU POOR AUTHORS......CLOSE TO THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND TRADITIONALY PUBLISHED BOOKS PLUS LIKE A QUARTER OF A MILLI0N 'POD' PUBLISHED BOOKS.....THE AVERAGE NEW TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOKS PRINTS NOT SELLS LIKE ONLY 2000 COPIES.......FOR THE AVERAGE 'POD' BOOK.....LESS THAN 200 COPIES ARE SOLD
SO MARCUS THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS FOR YOUR TEACHING JOB SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT OUT A SIGN THAT SAYS 'I WILL SEE YOU MY BOOK RIGHTS FOR FOOD....'
OF COURSE I HAVE NO IDEA THAT 'FIFI' AND 'MAD GEN YER' WILL HIT THE BIG TIME SOON SO WE NEEDN'T WORRY RIGHT MARCUS? I MEAN YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THAT STUFF COMES FROM MY HEAD AND I WHISPERED IT INTO MARCUS'S HEAD...HIS RIGHT CEREBRUM SO I KNOW THOSE TWO BOOKS WILL MAKE IT BIG....
AMNNNNNWAYS GETTING BACK TO MY LOTTERY THING YOU CAN SEE HOW TOUGH IT IS.....WHILE I TOIL AND WORK AS A WAITRESS KNOWING I'VE GOT AS MUCH TALENT AS ANY ACTRESS ALIVE HOPING I WIN THAT 'LOTTERY TICKET'.....
I JUST MET ANOTHER GIRL WHO JUST ARRIVED FROM A 'COW STATE' AND IS WORKING AS A WAITRESS IN SANTA MONICA AND SHE TOLD ME "OHHHH FIFI I LOVED READING 'FIFI' AND ALSO 'FIFI'S THOUGHTS' AND YOU INSPIRED ME TO QUIT MY SECRETARIAL JOB IN JOLIET (YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FROM THE MIDWEST WELL JOLIET IS IN ILLINOIS)AND WORK AS A WAITRESS AND AUDITION FOR ROLES IN MY SPARE TIME BECAUSE YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME AND I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT BIG JUST LIKE YOU WILL....."
WELL FELLOW STRUGGLING ACTRESS WHO ALSO GREW UP IN A COW STATE' I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK......ONLY DON'T ME FOR MOVIE ROLES....THAT'S WHAT MY FELLOW IOWAN AND HATED RIVAL KERRY KROWLEY DOES...AND WE ARE NOT THE BEST OF FRIENDS...
OMIGOSH I'M JUST KIDDING AND BEING FACETIOUS.....I WISH ALL THE BEST OF LUCK TO THAT ACTRESS AND CERTAINLY I GET A BIT OFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE MENTION THE MIDWEST AND OR GREAT PLAIN STATES AS 'COW STATES.' IT'S SEEMS LIKE OVER HALF OF THE PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD ARE ORIGINALLY FROM THE MIDWEST.....
BUT THEN THE JOKES KEEPING ESPECIALLY WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I'M FROM IOWA ESPECIALLY FROM 'NATIVE CALIFORNIANS' WHO SAY DUMB THINGS LIKE 'OHHHHHHHH WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN?" I JUST LAUGH IT OFF.....THE STEREOTYPES....THE STEREOTYPES........
SPEAKING OF A FELLA WHO GREW UP IN A 'GREAT PLAINS STATE, MONTANA,' YOU LA PEOPLE NEED TO COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS FOR HAVING PHIL JACKSON BEING LAKERS COACH.....YOU LAKER FANS ESPECIALLY MARCUS AND BIFF.....HOW GOOD WOULD THE LAKERS BE WITHOUT ZEN GURUVIAN THINK OUT OF THE PHIL..I KNOW KOBE'S GREAT BUT HOW MANY TITLES DID THEY WIN WITH KOBE BEFORE HE GOT THERE? YOU PEOPLE BETTER HOPE PHIL COMES BACK....OMIGOSH HOW BAD TO MEDIOCRE THE BULL WERE (EVEN WITH MICHAEL) BEFORE PHIL GOT THERE AND HOW BAD
THEY'VE BEEN SINCE HE'S LEFT.........
OK A NEW THING......MY FOUR BRAINS REVIEW.....A NEW THING....MY FOUR BRAINS INDIVIDUALLY GIVE REVIEWS FOR ALL THESE BAD MOVIES YOU SEE IT TODAY.....SOMETIMES I'LL REVIEW A MOVIE AS A SINGLE PERSON SOMETIMES MY 4 BRAINS WILL REVIEW IT......REVIEWS ARE GIVEN 1 TO 5 WITH 1 BEING WORST, 5 BEING BEST.....
OK LET'S START WITH:
'SO PROPOSAL'
LEFT LIMBIC" ORGANIZED PART OF THE BRAIN......'SO INCREDIBLY SILLY.....SANDRA BULLOCK APPEARS IN ANOTHER 'BOMB' OF A MOVIE. NOW THIS ONE ABOUT LURING ONE OF HER FELLOW EMPLOYEES FOR A YEAR TO BE 'HER HUSBAND' SO SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF AN IMMIGRATION SNAFU WITH THE IRS OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THE ORGANIZATION NOW....AS THOUGH PEOPLE BELIEVE THE INS IS FOOLISH ENOUGH TO BE DUPED BY A MARRIAGE SCAM AND WILL ALLOW SANDRA AND HER 'HUSBAND' TO STAY IN THE STATES FOR ONE YEAR AND SANDRA DOESN'T HAVE TO GET DEPORTED TO CANADA...I'M NOT GOING INTO DETAIL IN THIS MOVIES...POOR DIALOGUE....POOR PLOT STRUCTURE.....I GIVE IT A 'ONE'....
RIGHT 'LIMBIC'....EMOTIONAL 'FEELING' PART OF THE BRAIN....'LIKE LEFT L SAID....IT WAS JUST MUCH MORE SILLY THAN FUNNY.....THERE WERE A FEW FUNNY SCENES.....SANDRA DOING SOME KIND OF SILLY TRIBAL DANCE WITH HER 'HUSBANDS GRANDMOTHER' PLAYED BY BETTY WHITE... AND A NUDE SCENE WHERE SANDRA AND HER 'HUSBAND' ACCIDENTLY MEET EACH OTHER.....BUT YOUR RIGHT LEFT L....I'M ALSO GIVING IT A ONE/////////////
LEFT CEREBRAL.....ANAYTICAL TECHNICAL PART OF THE BRAIN...... I'M LOOKING AT THIS MOVIE FROM A THEMATIC ANGLE....THE THEME SEEEMS TO DEAL WITH A WOMAN GETTING 'MARRIED' TO SATISY THE IMMIGRATION AND WILL GO THROGH ALL KINDS OF HOOPS TO REACH HER GOAL. SANDRA,A NEW YORK PUBLISHING EXECUTIVE AND HER 'HUSBAND', A FELLOW EMPLOYEE OF HERS, AGREE TO THE MARRIAGE, THEY THEN GO TO ALASKA TO MEET THE 'HUSBAND'S FAMILY.....THEY GO THROUGH ALL KINDS OF SILLY ADVENTURES....OK ENOUGH....NO COMPLEX DIALOGUE OR SCENES.....NO 'SYMBOLISM'....LET'S JUST SAY THAT FIFI WENT TO SLEEP WATCHING PART OF THIS MOVIE AND I'M PART OF THAT....I GIVE IT A 'ZERO'.......
RIGHT CEREBRAL....CREATIVE PART OF THE BRAIN......I LOVED THE ALASKAN SCENERY BUT THE JOKES WERE STALE AND SOME WERE DOWNRIGHT SILLY....I SAW SOME GOOD SLAPSTICK COMEDY (THE NUDE SCENE AFOREMENTIONED) BUT OVERALL A VERY DRY MOVIE.......I GIVE IT A 'ONE'....
WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT PEOPLE.....THE AVERAGE GRADE MY FOUR BRAINS GIVE 'THE PROPOSAL' IS A ONE.....WE'LL BE DOING MORE 4 BRAIN REVIEWS IN THE FUTURE
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU FATHERS AND YOU PEOPLE NEED TO READ OUR SILLY BOOK THAT JUST CAME OUT....DIARY OF A MAD GEN YER'....I CAN'T IMAGINE A BETTER PRESENT FOR FATHER'S DAY.....MORE THAN ENOUGH THOUGHT FOR NOW.......
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