David A. Schwinghammer
· Soldier's Gap
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight
· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight
· Bereavement Blues
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7
· Speed Dating With 'Janeane Garofalo'
· The Cynic
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer - Chapter Seven
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 7
· Mengele's Double, Chapter Six
· The Nuclear Option
· Empty Mansions, book review
· Pilgrim's Wilderness, book review
· WWII Cartoonist, book review
· Write Yourself Into a Corner, book review
· Roanoke Island, book review
· Billboard Theology
· Baghdad Without a Map, book review
· Into the Wild, book review
· The Zookeeper's Wife (review)
· Alumni Game
· Girls Who Wear Glasses
· The Do Drop Inn
· Ode to Neve Campbell
· Jacks or Better 101
· Never My Love
· 3 O'Clock
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Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
8/13/2009 10:14:06 AM
Physical and psychological description of the lead character in STRANGERS ARE FROM ZEUS.
Height/weight: 5’ 10”, 175 lbs.
Hair: black as a wild Indian‘s, his grandfather always said. “Must be the milkman’s.”
Dress: Outdoorsy. Blue jeans or corduroys with chambray shirts or flannels during the winter. Never fancier than khakis.
Body: He’s a working man. He’s thin but muscular with calloused hands.
Shoes: mostly boots.
Face. Wears a black beard, so thick that when he combs his hair in bangs he looks rather like a black sheep dog. Once, during a Halloween party he went as Blackbeard with candles lit in his beard.
Mouth: Thin, obscured by the beard.
Poses: Slouching, always leaning up against something.
Hands/gestures: Tries to hide the missing tip of his index finger that he lost while ice fishing. Always sitting back in his chair, always in danger of falling, but he never does. Fingers interlaced behind his head.
Torso and head: Keeps a cigarette behind one ear.
Build: Wiry, but muscular.
Arms and legs: Hairy. Walks with a long stride, looks taller because of it.
Imperfections. Wanderlust. Cynicism. Doesn’t think he can love anybody because of his father and Bernie. Doesn’t care about his physical appearance. Always seems to need a haircut.
Birth date: November 22, JFK’s assassination date. A bad omen, his father always said.
Birthplace: East Embarrass, Minnesota.
Home: The Finlander Motel.
Favorite room: The bathroom, in the tub.
View out his window: Pine trees and water.
Habits: Smokes non-filtered Luckies. Drinks dark beer, as a result of time spent in Ireland. Can’t believe the R&P, his favorite bar, actually serves Guinness.
Vehicle: His grandmother’s old Chevy station wagon.
Motive: Wants to put down roots but doesn’t know it yet.
Arnie Vogel’s back story
When Arnie Vogel was six years old he fell in a hole on Lake Vermillion while ice fishing with his father. He was under for at least a couple minutes before his father fished him out. He remembered that horrible feeling for the rest of his life, his lungs bursting and finally unable to hold his breath and longer and giving up seconds before his father snagged him by the hood and hauled him out onto the ice, coughing water and throwing up the salami sandwiches he’d had for dinner. They were miles from where they’d parked the truck and Arnie got frostbite and had to have the tip of his index finger removed. That’s probably why he hated school so much. Had to learn how to write with his left hand and his teachers were never satisfied with his penmanship. Ever since he tried to hide his affliction and got angry when people asked about it. And they always did. It was only one of the many things he blamed the old man for.
The next time nature reached out and bit Arnie in the ass was when he was twelve and he and his best friend Bernie, who happened to be a girl but never acted like one, got lost in Superior National Forest. Miles and miles of pine trees so dense you could hardly see the sun, but he and Bernie had survived on minnows and a rabbit they managed to trap. Later, he found out Bernie’s family had been out looking for her, while his father had said, “That boy hasn’t got the sense God gave a bush monkey.” He and Bernie had stumbled across a logging road after three days and walked out. She’d been grounded for a month; Arnie’s father had said, “I taught you how to handle yourself in the woods; I knew you’d be okay.”
Bernie and Arnie really got to know each other out there in the wild. When you’re twelve you start thinking about sex. He was kind of surprised to know that girls did, too. Sure he’d seen Madonna strutting her stuff on television, but he’d always thought she was just a nympho or something. Real girls didn’t act like that. He asked her if she’d like to try it, and she’d said, “No way, it would be too embarrassing to wind up the only pregnant twelve-year-old in the history of Minnesota. And with my luck I’d have triplets.”
Dave Schwinghammer’s published novel, SOLDIER’S GAP, is available on Amazon.com at a discount. Used copies are available.
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