David A. Schwinghammer
· Soldier's Gap
· Seminary Boy, a memoir
· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine
· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight
· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight
· Bereavement Blues
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7
· Speed Dating With 'Janeane Garofalo'
· The God Particle
· Empire of Sin, book review
· SCIENCE AT THE EDGE, book review
· Obama, a Modern Caesar?
· Americans Need to Pull Together
· Voices of the French Revolution, book review
· Great American Scandals
· Odd Man Out, book review
· Portrait of a Killer, book review
· Capital in the 21st Century, book review
· Alumni Game
· Girls Who Wear Glasses
· The Do Drop Inn
· Ode to Neve Campbell
· Jacks or Better 101
· Never My Love
· 3 O'Clock
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Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
8/13/2009 10:14:06 AM
Physical and psychological description of the lead character in STRANGERS ARE FROM ZEUS.
Height/weight: 5’ 10”, 175 lbs.
Hair: black as a wild Indian‘s, his grandfather always said. “Must be the milkman’s.”
Dress: Outdoorsy. Blue jeans or corduroys with chambray shirts or flannels during the winter. Never fancier than khakis.
Body: He’s a working man. He’s thin but muscular with calloused hands.
Shoes: mostly boots.
Face. Wears a black beard, so thick that when he combs his hair in bangs he looks rather like a black sheep dog. Once, during a Halloween party he went as Blackbeard with candles lit in his beard.
Mouth: Thin, obscured by the beard.
Poses: Slouching, always leaning up against something.
Hands/gestures: Tries to hide the missing tip of his index finger that he lost while ice fishing. Always sitting back in his chair, always in danger of falling, but he never does. Fingers interlaced behind his head.
Torso and head: Keeps a cigarette behind one ear.
Build: Wiry, but muscular.
Arms and legs: Hairy. Walks with a long stride, looks taller because of it.
Imperfections. Wanderlust. Cynicism. Doesn’t think he can love anybody because of his father and Bernie. Doesn’t care about his physical appearance. Always seems to need a haircut.
Birth date: November 22, JFK’s assassination date. A bad omen, his father always said.
Birthplace: East Embarrass, Minnesota.
Home: The Finlander Motel.
Favorite room: The bathroom, in the tub.
View out his window: Pine trees and water.
Habits: Smokes non-filtered Luckies. Drinks dark beer, as a result of time spent in Ireland. Can’t believe the R&P, his favorite bar, actually serves Guinness.
Vehicle: His grandmother’s old Chevy station wagon.
Motive: Wants to put down roots but doesn’t know it yet.
Arnie Vogel’s back story
When Arnie Vogel was six years old he fell in a hole on Lake Vermillion while ice fishing with his father. He was under for at least a couple minutes before his father fished him out. He remembered that horrible feeling for the rest of his life, his lungs bursting and finally unable to hold his breath and longer and giving up seconds before his father snagged him by the hood and hauled him out onto the ice, coughing water and throwing up the salami sandwiches he’d had for dinner. They were miles from where they’d parked the truck and Arnie got frostbite and had to have the tip of his index finger removed. That’s probably why he hated school so much. Had to learn how to write with his left hand and his teachers were never satisfied with his penmanship. Ever since he tried to hide his affliction and got angry when people asked about it. And they always did. It was only one of the many things he blamed the old man for.
The next time nature reached out and bit Arnie in the ass was when he was twelve and he and his best friend Bernie, who happened to be a girl but never acted like one, got lost in Superior National Forest. Miles and miles of pine trees so dense you could hardly see the sun, but he and Bernie had survived on minnows and a rabbit they managed to trap. Later, he found out Bernie’s family had been out looking for her, while his father had said, “That boy hasn’t got the sense God gave a bush monkey.” He and Bernie had stumbled across a logging road after three days and walked out. She’d been grounded for a month; Arnie’s father had said, “I taught you how to handle yourself in the woods; I knew you’d be okay.”
Bernie and Arnie really got to know each other out there in the wild. When you’re twelve you start thinking about sex. He was kind of surprised to know that girls did, too. Sure he’d seen Madonna strutting her stuff on television, but he’d always thought she was just a nympho or something. Real girls didn’t act like that. He asked her if she’d like to try it, and she’d said, “No way, it would be too embarrassing to wind up the only pregnant twelve-year-old in the history of Minnesota. And with my luck I’d have triplets.”
Dave Schwinghammer’s published novel, SOLDIER’S GAP, is available on Amazon.com at a discount. Used copies are available.
More Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
Greedheads - Monday, September 29, 2014
Worst President Since WWII? - Monday, July 07, 2014
Tenure for Teachers - Thursday, June 26, 2014
Koch Brothers Interfere in Local Election - Thursday, May 08, 2014
The Wolly Mammoth - Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Fran Tarkenton's political ad - Friday, March 14, 2014
Propaganda vs. Legitimate Commentary - Sunday, February 23, 2014
Porn as a Political Issue - Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Drive a Stake Through the Vampires' Hearts! - Thursday, February 06, 2014
State of the Union Stem-winder - Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Ted Cruz - Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Here We Go Again. - Thursday, September 19, 2013
Reality TV - Friday, August 09, 2013
Common Sense - Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Skunks Believe Everybody Else Stinks - Thursday, May 16, 2013
The Morning After Pill - Friday, April 12, 2013
What Would Thomas Jefferson Say? - Saturday, April 06, 2013
Boneheads - Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Why Benedict XVI Resigned - Sunday, February 17, 2013
Gabby Giffords Testifies - Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Newspaper Caters to Gun Owners - Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Piers Morgan Deserves a Medal - Monday, December 24, 2012
The Red Devil and the Blue Devil? - Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Is the new TV show, REVOLUTION, fantasy? - Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Fanatical Moslems Aren't That Different From Our Fanatics - Wednesday, September 12, 2012
We Need the United Nations - Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Stop Catering to People's Basest Instincts - Monday, July 09, 2012
Concerned Women for America political ad - Saturday, June 23, 2012
Independent Voters Need to Pick a Side - Monday, June 11, 2012
Romney's Solyndra Appearance - Friday, June 01, 2012
Single Issue Voters - Sunday, May 20, 2012
Bully or Sociopath? - Saturday, May 12, 2012
Tan-orexic Woman Poor Role Model - Friday, May 04, 2012
So Far Right They're Almost Left - Sunday, April 22, 2012
Dog Eat Dog - Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Tea Party is Back! - Sunday, March 25, 2012
Gas Prices - Tuesday, March 13, 2012
"Doofus" - Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Bon Iver Front Man Makes Important Statement - Thursday, February 16, 2012
Contraception Blowback - Friday, February 10, 2012
800 vetoes! - Saturday, February 04, 2012
Issa Hounding Holder over GOP program - Thursday, February 02, 2012
Rick Santelli's Rant - Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Corporate Raider President? - Thursday, December 01, 2011
Is This the Best They Can Do? - Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tea Party a non-violent Movement? - Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wall Street Protests - Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Three new stooges - Thursday, August 25, 2011
Hypocrite enters the race - Friday, August 19, 2011
Business Leaders Need to Speak Out - Saturday, July 30, 2011
Rupert Murdoch and GOP Credibility - Monday, July 25, 2011
Playing on the railroad tracks - Sunday, July 17, 2011
Scapegoating - Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Biggest Swindle in US history - Friday, June 03, 2011
We're Still Here! - Saturday, May 21, 2011
Improve education by improving teacher morale - Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Tea Partiers Don't Know What They're Talking About - Thursday, April 28, 2011
General Electric paid no corporate taxes - Tuesday, April 05, 2011
The Flat Earth Society is at it again! - Thursday, March 17, 2011
Crap fest - Thursday, March 03, 2011
Egyptian Revolution - Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Tucson - Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Would you want a right-winger for a neighbor? - Friday, January 07, 2011
Noah's Ark Museum - Monday, December 06, 2010
Frick and Frack Shoot Off Their Mouths - Friday, November 05, 2010
Enthusiam Gap - Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Super Computer - Tuesday, October 19, 2010
US Chamber of Commerce, conservative front group. - Wednesday, October 13, 2010
13 Reasons to vote the straight democratic ticket - Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Breitbart Makes Segretti look like a choirboy - Wednesday, July 28, 2010
House on Fire? - Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Blame Game - Friday, May 28, 2010
National Prayer Day - Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Conservative psyche (continued) - Friday, May 14, 2010
Conservative psyche - Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Are you smarter than a half-term governor? - Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Rewriting History - Monday, April 05, 2010
Fred Phelps - Friday, April 02, 2010
Combing the Daily Newspaper - Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Noir - Friday, November 06, 2009
Interview with SOLDIER'S GAP author continued - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
More from SOLDIER'S GAP author - Thursday, October 29, 2009
SOLDIER'S GAP author answers questions. - Thursday, October 22, 2009
Everything you always wanted to know about writing a novel - Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Manuscript conventions - Thursday, September 10, 2009
Revision - Monday, September 07, 2009
Dialogue - Thursday, September 03, 2009
Scene cards - Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Point of view - Thursday, August 27, 2009
Plot - Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Arnie's dream - Friday, August 21, 2009
Rituals - Thursday, August 20, 2009
Dressing Arnie Vogel - Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Character sketch continued - Friday, August 14, 2009
Character sketch - Thursday, August 13, 2009
Characterization - Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Scene outline - Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Warm-up activity - Freewriting - Monday, August 10, 2009
Warm-up activity - brainstorming - Sunday, August 09, 2009
Warm-up techniques (clustering) - Saturday, August 08, 2009