David A. Schwinghammer
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· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight
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· Speed Dating With 'Janeane Garofalo'
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· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer - Chapter Seven
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· Norse Mythology, book review
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· Denial Is Not a River in Egypt, George!
· Thomas Jefferson, book review
· The Hairstons (book review)
· Brothers (book review)
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Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
Bon Iver Front Man Makes Important Statement
2/16/2012 9:59:53 AM
Justin Vernon seemed reluctant to take the Grammy for "Best New Artist" at the Grammy Awards ceremony because so many talented musicians will never be invited, much less receive one.
Besides Adelle’s incredible voice and the Whitney Houston sentiments, the most significant moment at the Grammy awards came when Bon Iver front man Justin Vernon accepted the trophy for best new artist. Vernon seemed somewhat reluctant to accept the prize in that his band also won the Indy (independent) artist Grammy. He notably said, “This is for all the talented musicians out there who will never be invited to these awards or win a grammy.” The implication was that many great musicians never get a chance or they play for the sake of playing music. Some would say he could have or should have really gone off on the industry for what passes for popular music these days. I’m talking about the emphasis on overdubbing. Justin Bieber comes to mind, as does his girlfriend Selena Gomez. It’s hard to tell if Selena actually has a credible voice. One must give Bieber and others credit for putting themselves out there on You Tube, however, and we have performer here in Minnesota, Owl City, who recorded his smash hit “Fireflies” in his basement, acting as his own producer. Another culprit seems to be television with its ubiquitous contest shows where callers actually spend money to vote (at least they did originally). They often choose a person for the wrong reasons in my mind. It’s like a junior high popularity contest. Colbie Caillat auditioned twice for American Idol, performing her hit release “Bubbly” the second time and never made it to the judges. Other than Kelly Clarkson I can’t think of an American Idol winner that I actually like. You have to give Kelly credit; she’s actually getting better.
The other indy innovation is in the publishing domain. I wonder how many people out there know that mainstream publishers do not accept unsolicited manuscripts. In other words you need an agent. An agent can be anybody. He/she can be a plumber if he has the promotional gene. Generally they’re looking for something they know will sell: a celebrity bio or somebody who sounds like a popular writer. Talent is secondary. I know this sounds like sour grapes, but why should somebody who has no literary background make decisions about who gets published? Random House and other great houses used to have something called a slush pile; they would appoint a rookie editor to go through these unsolicited manuscripts. Most of them were garbage but occasionally they’d find a real gem. Even that was a better deal than the present sham. There are Internet sites, like authors den where you can post your work, but apparently agents don’t have the time or they expect you to jump through the hoops, i.e., send a query letter, get your dozens of rejection letters etc. before they ask about your work.
Let’s take a look at the New York Times best seller list, shall we? Not a single literary writer in the bunch. I guess we’ll have to wait for the next Jonathan Franzen, and the only reason he was listed was because of the Oprah flap. Of course we have the notorious James Patterson. I say “notorious” because he “writes” so many books. For a while there he listed a co-author, but apparently others were willing to do it for the money without the credit. We also have Tom Clancy who also seems to have run out of ideas; he lists Art Greaney as his co-author. THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST is still on the list. It’s about the most original novel listed. Stephen King, who claimed he’d run out of ideas and was going to retire several years ago, is back with something called 11/22/63. He’s actually a pretty good short story writer, but they don’t sell as well as the novels. P.D. James is on the list. Her pacing is so slow I keep falling asleep when I read her work. Oh, yeah, then there’s Glenn Beck. He’s not on this list, but his “mysteries” have been there before. He freely admits he doesn’t write his own stuff; he’s got a collaborator who doesn’t usually get credit.
There are some options for indy writers. You can publish with a vanity press and hawk your product from the trunk of your car. There’s also print on demand publication and e-books. You can sell an e-book for 99 cents. One woman sold a million copies of her vampire romance. Excuse me, but that’s catering to the proles. Don’t we have enough vampire movies and books without another one, especially a vampire romance? Who buys this stuff? There have only been two decent authors concerned with vampires, Bram Stoker, who started the whole mess and Anne Rice who began to scare herself so much that she became an evangelical Christian, only to relent later when they became to political for her.
I recently reviewed a book for an e-book author, critiqued it actually. She had divided her book into three sequels. There was no ending in other words. I wonder if that was the publisher’s idea. She said they paid her for the book so I wouldn’t doubt it. Anyway, it made me almost as mad as I was when I read the Jack Reacher novel 61 HOURS where Lee Child expected us to believe he killed off his bread and butter hero. I hope that’s not an industry practice for e-books.
I almost forgot movies. There’s a reason Robert Redford founded the Sundance Film Festival. Adam Sandler movies have earned well over a billion dollars. About the only Sandler movie I thought was funny was the one where he played a pro golfer, and Bob Barker punched him out. Are you tired of the comic book characters yet? A black and white silent movie is on the verge of winning the Oscar for best movie. It looks like it was based on the old “Thin Man” movies, but I’m pretty sure those were talkies. I think the director was making a satirical statement. Even “Titanic” has a scene that should’ve been cut. The ship is sinking and this guy is chasing his fiancee and her lover around the ship with a gun. Nobody seemed to have noticed that was highly unrealistic. Why not wait for them to drown?
So . . . what’s my point? They won’t record this stuff if you don’t buy it; those books are on the best-seller list because the publisher printed thousands of copies and sent them to book stores and the on-line sellers like Amazon. They haven’t necessarily sold. Nobody makes you read them. I actually tried to watch a few comic book hero movies. The only one I kind of liked was the original Superman movies with Christopher Reeve, and that was because I was a huge Superman fan when George Reeves played him on television. I haven’t actually been to a movie in over twenty years, and I don’t rent them anymore either. The last one I tried to rent was “The Hangover” because the previews looked funny. I finally saw it on TV. It wasn’t that funny.
Watch a George Clooney movie. He’s at least trying to do good work. He’s also a good man. He deserves an audience. Have you heard of Darfur? He actually went to there and did everything he could to help those people. How many Americans cared? He even contracted malaria as a result, and he’s going back.
I listen to an oldies station. They make me mad because they play the same songs over an over, too, but at least some of them are good songs. I don’t own an iPod. I used to belong to a CD club, but I’d get them in the mail and never listen to them. I did once listen to a walkman while on my daily walk, but I stopped doing that because I’m a writer and those were somebody else’s thoughts.
If you watch too much of this stuff, or listen to it or even read it, it affects your thinking. You start doing things like collecting autographs and wearing super hero underwear. You might even start a gun collection if you watch too many action movies.
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More Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
• Skunks Believe Everybody Else Stinks - Thursday, May 16, 2013
• The Morning After Pill - Friday, April 12, 2013
• What Would Thomas Jefferson Say? - Saturday, April 06, 2013
• Boneheads - Tuesday, March 12, 2013
• Why Benedict XVI Resigned - Sunday, February 17, 2013
• Gabby Giffords Testifies - Wednesday, January 30, 2013
• Newspaper Caters to Gun Owners - Wednesday, January 23, 2013
• Piers Morgan Deserves a Medal - Monday, December 24, 2012
• The Red Devil and the Blue Devil? - Tuesday, October 30, 2012
• Is the new TV show, REVOLUTION, fantasy? - Wednesday, September 26, 2012
• Fanatical Moslems Aren't That Different From Our Fanatics - Wednesday, September 12, 2012
• We Need the United Nations - Wednesday, July 18, 2012
• Stop Catering to People's Basest Instincts - Monday, July 09, 2012
• Concerned Women for America political ad - Saturday, June 23, 2012
• Independent Voters Need to Pick a Side - Monday, June 11, 2012
• Romney's Solyndra Appearance - Friday, June 01, 2012
• Single Issue Voters - Sunday, May 20, 2012
• Bully or Sociopath? - Saturday, May 12, 2012
• Tan-orexic Woman Poor Role Model - Friday, May 04, 2012
• So Far Right They're Almost Left - Sunday, April 22, 2012
• Dog Eat Dog - Sunday, April 15, 2012
• The Tea Party is Back! - Sunday, March 25, 2012
• Gas Prices - Tuesday, March 13, 2012
• "Doofus" - Tuesday, March 06, 2012
• Bon Iver Front Man Makes Important Statement - Thursday, February 16, 2012
• Contraception Blowback - Friday, February 10, 2012
• 800 vetoes! - Saturday, February 04, 2012
• Issa Hounding Holder over GOP program - Thursday, February 02, 2012
• Rick Santelli's Rant - Wednesday, January 18, 2012
• Corporate Raider President? - Thursday, December 01, 2011
• Is This the Best They Can Do? - Thursday, November 17, 2011
• Tea Party a non-violent Movement? - Sunday, October 30, 2011
• Wall Street Protests - Wednesday, October 05, 2011
• Three new stooges - Thursday, August 25, 2011
• Hypocrite enters the race - Friday, August 19, 2011
• Business Leaders Need to Speak Out - Saturday, July 30, 2011
• Rupert Murdoch and GOP Credibility - Monday, July 25, 2011
• Playing on the railroad tracks - Sunday, July 17, 2011
• Scapegoating - Sunday, June 19, 2011
• The Biggest Swindle in US history - Friday, June 03, 2011
• We're Still Here! - Saturday, May 21, 2011
• Improve education by improving teacher morale - Wednesday, May 04, 2011
• Tea Partiers Don't Know What They're Talking About - Thursday, April 28, 2011
• General Electric paid no corporate taxes - Tuesday, April 05, 2011
• The Flat Earth Society is at it again! - Thursday, March 17, 2011
• Crap fest - Thursday, March 03, 2011
• Egyptian Revolution - Tuesday, February 08, 2011
• Tucson - Wednesday, January 12, 2011
• Would you want a right-winger for a neighbor? - Friday, January 07, 2011
• Noah's Ark Museum - Monday, December 06, 2010
• Frick and Frack Shoot Off Their Mouths - Friday, November 05, 2010
• Enthusiam Gap - Wednesday, October 27, 2010
• Super Computer - Tuesday, October 19, 2010
• US Chamber of Commerce, conservative front group. - Wednesday, October 13, 2010
• 13 Reasons to vote the straight democratic ticket - Wednesday, September 01, 2010
• Breitbart Makes Segretti look like a choirboy - Wednesday, July 28, 2010
• House on Fire? - Thursday, June 17, 2010
• The Blame Game - Friday, May 28, 2010
• National Prayer Day - Tuesday, May 18, 2010
• Conservative psyche (continued) - Friday, May 14, 2010
• Conservative psyche - Wednesday, May 12, 2010
• Are you smarter than a half-term governor? - Wednesday, April 14, 2010
• Rewriting History - Monday, April 05, 2010
• Fred Phelps - Friday, April 02, 2010
• Combing the Daily Newspaper - Wednesday, March 17, 2010
• Noir - Friday, November 06, 2009
• Interview with SOLDIER'S GAP author continued - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
• More from SOLDIER'S GAP author - Thursday, October 29, 2009
• SOLDIER'S GAP author answers questions. - Thursday, October 22, 2009
• Everything you always wanted to know about writing a novel - Tuesday, October 20, 2009
• Manuscript conventions - Thursday, September 10, 2009
• Revision - Monday, September 07, 2009
• Dialogue - Thursday, September 03, 2009
• Scene cards - Tuesday, September 01, 2009
• Point of view - Thursday, August 27, 2009
• Plot - Tuesday, August 25, 2009
• Arnie's dream - Friday, August 21, 2009
• Rituals - Thursday, August 20, 2009
• Dressing Arnie Vogel - Tuesday, August 18, 2009
• Character sketch continued - Friday, August 14, 2009
• Character sketch - Thursday, August 13, 2009
• Characterization - Wednesday, August 12, 2009
• Scene outline - Tuesday, August 11, 2009
• Warm-up activity - Freewriting - Monday, August 10, 2009
• Warm-up activity - brainstorming - Sunday, August 09, 2009
• Warm-up techniques (clustering) - Saturday, August 08, 2009
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