Blogs by Linda Settles
8/9/2008 6:32:33 AM
Triumphing over trauma--restoring the treasure of a trusting heart.
I don't know how old I was when my father first broke my trust. My earliest memory of it is at 5 years old. I don't remember ever being happy--not until I finally found the courage to flee my father's house and make a new life in another part of the world.
My childhood was filled with violence, with fear, and with my father's rage.I learned early on that no one I knew could be trusted and I wasn't worth the time and effort it would take for anyone to prove me wrong. That was "back then." In the sepulcher of abuse, the shadows of my father's depravity. He is dead now. I wish I could say that I am sorry, but his rage and threats--death threats and violence--hung over me like a cloud as long as he was alive. I hope he made his peace with God, but I will never know--not on this side of eternity.
What I do know, is that I have made mine, my peace with God. Recovery is a precious gift given to the seeker of truth, and I have sought the truth. I have ventured into the shadow land of an abusive past and dug among the ruins, mining for treasures that I knew, I just knew, were buried there.
And I have found them! Tidbits of truth, insights into the child who became the woman that I am, and understanding of my past that brightens my future. I have, like Job, sat in sackcloth and ashes and scraped my wounds. And in my flesh, I have seen God. Not with eyes of flesh, but with a spirit restored to his likeness, not perfectly, not completely, but enough. Enough that I can go on stepping--up the mountain--into his heart.
I invite you to journey with me. Day by day I read, I write, I meditate on the Healer and He does His work. We can triumph over trauma. We just have to keep stepping up the mountain, in his time, his joy, and his love.
More Blogs by Linda Settles
Redeeming Our Treasures One Day at a Time - Saturday, December 06, 2008
Redemption... - Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Redeeming Our Love for Christ - Thursday, October 02, 2008
Holidays Can Be Trouble... - Sunday, September 28, 2008
Dancing Daffodils - Thursday, September 25, 2008
Assessing the Strengths of A Recovering Sexual Abuse Survivor - Saturday, September 20, 2008
Good News for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse - Friday, September 19, 2008
My Trials Had to Stand for Something... - Saturday, August 30, 2008
Renounce Negativity! - Thursday, August 28, 2008
Antiseptic Grace - Monday, August 25, 2008
A Safe Harbor - Sunday, August 24, 2008
Honor-it is not what you think! - Saturday, August 23, 2008
Break My Heart... - Saturday, August 23, 2008
Letting go - Monday, August 11, 2008
I'm Stepping - Saturday, August 09, 2008
God Help Our Youth! - Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Don't tell your children what to think! - Thursday, July 31, 2008
On top of the mountain - Wednesday, July 30, 2008
A Wrinkle in My Spirit - Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Let us stand firm in our faith... - Sunday, July 27, 2008
From Where I Stand - Wednesday, July 23, 2008
WOW! What a Show! - Saturday, July 19, 2008
When I Can't See - Friday, July 11, 2008
Its Not Just Me - Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Complications.... - Monday, June 23, 2008