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Tina B Tessina

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Hello, and welcome to the "Happiness Tips" newsletter. In addition to a helpful tip for increasing your happiness, you can find out where I'll be signing books, and how to contact me, along with "Happiness Tips from Tina" in every month's newsletter. Please remember to add tina.tinatessina.com to your "acceptable" list, especially if you're on AOL.
Newsletter Dated: 12/1/2010 12:01:37 AM

Subject: Happiness Tips from Tina: Give Yourself a Gift

Dear Friends:

Welcome to our new subscribers, I love hearing from all of you, and I've printed your e mail responses at the bottom of this newsletter. I welcome all suggestions for topics. To make sure your spam system doesnít reject this newsletter, please add tina@tinatessina.com to your list of acceptable e-mail. I am not able to fill out forms online because you=re screening for spam. To unsubscribe, see below.

Remember if you don't want the newsletter, just click the link at the bottom, and you'll be instantly unsubscribed. If you missed the newsletter last month, the article is on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Happiness Tip: Give Yourself a Gift

Want to give yourself a holiday gift that will last the rest of your life? Try giving yourself the gift of happiness. Research shows that happiness and satisfaction depend more on the inner person than on external circumstances. The secret to living a happy life is to get in charge of your life and what you are doing. Then you can build the life you want. As children, we are strongly influenced by the opinions of others, and what you learn in early childhood can run your life until you understand it and take control of your own ideas and decisions.

What is it that you have always wanted to do? Have you been telling yourself you canít, or that you donít deserve it? What would happen if you decided to give yourself what youíve always wanted? Look at your own life and your decisions from a different and valuable perspective. The decisions you make today affect the rest of your life, and you are ultimately the only person to whom you are accountable and for whom you are responsible. Every new decision is truly a new life's resolution.

According to recent brain studies, the brain chemical oxytocin is released when there's positive contact with others (or even with oneself) and serotonin, which has a more physical connection. So, to increase your happiness, serotonin levels can be raised by physical activity (try ballroom dancing, yoga, belly dancing, swinging on a swing), or meditation (in an aromatherapy bath, with scented candles or oils, sitting in a lovely outdoor setting, or with special music) You can also raise oxytocin levels with comforting touch (a massage, a cuddle session with pets, kids, spouse or even just wrapping up in a snug, furry blanket, or rubbing your skin with silk or scented lotion) and loving interaction (a warm exchange with a close friend, family member or child, writing a love letter, working together on a family project, snuggling while watching video or laughing together) Research conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well connected to friends and family.


"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved", wrote Victor Hugo. He knew there are more kinds of love than romance and marriage. No matter what is happening in your romantic life, the solid presence of good friends and family can lift your spirits, fill your days, and give you the support you need for your romantic relationship.

Not only does it take a "village" (community) to raise a child, but in our mobile and fast paced society, a sense of community, family and connectedness helps us to function more effectively as adults in all phases of life. Current research shows that people who have a healthy family and social life are happier and more long lived. By creating family feelings in several areas of your life, you'll have the joy of the give and take of friendship, anytime you want. As you look back on your life, you are likely to feel best about the good things you did for others and the positive contributions you have made to your friends and family. Perhaps life will present you with an opportunity to give back to friends. Being there in times of need, helping out in times of illness or bereavement, or just being a sympathetic listener when a friend is stressed can be more valuable to them than you imagine. You'll create blessings for yourself when you share your rituals, holidays, laughter and information. Welcome friends who are alone into your family's good times. Give yourself the gift of laughter, fun and happiness.

I wish you all the holiday joys you can dream of.

(c)2010 Tina B. Tessina
adapted from: It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page) ISBN 1 56414 548 4

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Anticipating Change
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
The Colors of You
Creating Holiday Magic
Giving Thanks
Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness
How to Have Happier Holidays!
The Importance of Humor
Itís a Dirty Job
Kindness and Happiness
Learn to See Through the Eyes of Love
Learning Forgiveness
Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom
Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends
Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
No Two Miracles Alike
Relating With Love
Season of Blessing
Tapping Your ďInner MentorĒ to Create New Meaning in Your Life
True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess in You
When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships
Year of Peace
You Are a Gift
Your Bestest Friend - You
Your Heartís Desire
Your Primary Relationship

Appearances Calendar

New! Follow me www.twitter.com/tinatessina @tinatessina
The Dr. Romance blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tinatessina
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/tinatessina

You can find me on the Internet as "Dr. Romance" on Divorce360.com: http://www.divorce360.com/articles by tina tessina/128.aspx
I=m a Contributing Editor for Redbook

I'll also answer your questions at http://www.tinatessina.com

Upcoming radio shows, TV, and lectures are all posted on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com and at http://www.booktour.com/author/tina_b_tessina


I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at tina@tinatessina.com.

Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com

MAILBOX
Re: Gratitude, Happiness and Kindness
Tina, Really good stuff here...as usual! I especially liked the daily calendar suggestion. I will look for appropriate calendars for many on my Christmas list. Thanks! Lloyd

Enjoy your holidays, Lloyd!

I always enjoy your newsletters. Thanks for sharing your gifts! Charlene

Youíre welcome, Charlene, and thank you for letting me know.

hola amiga, this one is one of the best yet. I will pray every night that my love ones practice this for i will Xerox many copies n give each one a copy. (Not all my friends have puters) Believe it or not I have lived this way most of my life. (not all) and sometimes felt very different than others. Now that you have validated my actions I donít feel so isolated. Sometimes I even go and LOOK for needy people just to give them a little change or a hug or a conversation. You do not have to wait for them to come to u. You also mention to remember all that we DO have. I will also like to thank u for your last letter where u recommended other of your reading material. i was helped plenty. My pain is less and now I know that to let go of someone u love for the sake of both of us took courage and kindness. I also found out that I do love myself in being able to let go of something that was not right for me, as hard as it was. Thanks again my friend. I deeply hope that u and Richard are as happy as I remember u to be. xoxoxoCookie

Feliz Navidad, Cookie Ė yes, weíre still happy, and I wish you much happiness.

thanks for the note TinaI think of you often I still learn from you every day. Blessings
Greg

Youíre welcome, Greg, and happy holidays.

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