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Happiness Tip: Looking Backward, Looking Forward
Happy New Year! May you be filled with renewed energy for life, and the wisdom to put it to effective use.

The month of January is named after the Roman god Janus– the god of beginnings and transitions. If you have seen depictions of him, you know he had two faces which looked both backward and forward. Thus, the transition month of the year bears his name.

Most of us look forward at this time of the year, and wonder what the new year will bring. Whether your personal year last year was easy or difficult, or more likely a mix of the two, the new year usually brings with it renewed hope and fresh energy. Like Janus, we can benefit from looking both backward and forward at this time of new beginning.

At all times, life contains many possibilities: falling in love, accidents, illness, winning the lottery, happening upon old friends, making new ones, or healing old wounds. We have over some of these, and not over others. Looking backward to look forward can help handle each new event that life brings to the best of our ability. Looking forward helps - - to focus on where we want to be, what we want to do, instead of getting tangled in the problems of the past. Looking backward is an opportunity to learn from the past, but only in terms of what we can do in the future. When I look back and review, I can see mistakes I made, but that is only useful if I
consider how to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. Looking back, I can see ways in which I triumphed, and seeing that motivates me to do more in the future. "Today is the first
day of the rest of your life" may have been over used, but it is still true.

What are you beginning today? What new energy will you bring into your life? What will this new year be about for you? How will you use the gift of a new year? This coming year is a most precious gift, and once it's gone, none of us will ever see it again. How did you use last year's gift of time? Are you proud and pleased? Good! Use that energy to begin another year to be proud of.

Are you grateful for many gifts and much help from your Higher Source? The best way to show your gratitude is to take the help and make the most of it. Are you discouraged and despondent? Now is your chance to wipe the slate clean and begin anew - - seek help if you don't know where to start. Anything can be healed or turned around, even if it’s just because you adjust your attitude.

Most of us will feel a mixture of these reactions to the past year, and a corresponding mix of anticipation and worry about the new. Give yourself a New Year's gift: spend a few hours in
contemplation of what has gone before, what you would like to keep going, and what you would like to change. My New Year's gift to you is the following exercise, intended to help you take
charge of yourself and your year from the beginning, and to help you take advantage of the renewal of energy that is possible now. You can do this alone or with friends, whichever feels
better to you. You can make it as elaborate or simple as you wish. I’ve made this as non - denominational as I can, but feel free to modify it to suit your own faith.

New Years Meditation

1. To begin, find a location: the beach, home alone or with friends, near a favorite tree in the park, in an empty church. Find a place that suits you, where you're not likely to be interrupted or distracted, and that is a comfortable place for you to do the next step. Or, close your eyes and go to a favorite place in your imagination.

2. Then, do a purification ritual: Take an herbal bath, wash your hands, run or do your exercise routine, drink pure water, sing, dance, meditate, surround yourself with white light, do yoga or pray - - whatever feels cleansing to you, and will help you get into an open frame of mind for working with your spiritual and emotional energy. Designing your own purification is the beginning of taking charge, and learning to use energy in the most effective way for your individual, unique needs.

3. Once you have purified, review your past year. Do this in a detached, objective frame of mind - - it is not an exercise in complaining, blaming yourself, or regret. Instead, gather information you will use in shaping the new year. Consider what you like about what you've done, what you want to continue, and what you want to change. Write it down if you like, tell someone else, send it in an email, or simply think privately about it.

4. Now, choose a focus for the coming year. You can pick a specific project, like starting a new routine or activity or giving up a bad habit, or you can pick something more abstract, like
improving your health, or communicating better with your partner, or being more accepting of yourself or others. Don't worry about whether your choice is enough for the entire year. You can
refocus later, when you've accomplished this first goal. In fact, smaller goals are usually better - - they aren't so overwhelming, and they seem possible to accomplish, so you have more energy. You may want to write it down or record it in some way, discuss it, or just keep it in your heart.

5. Once your project is settled, open yourself up to the help that is available to you. At this point, you don't know what form that help will take: it may be friends, surprises, help, miracles, or information or money may appear from an unexpected source. Resolve now to be alert for that help, and to accept it graciously and gratefully when it comes. Give thanks for it in
advance, and also for the opportunity that this year can be.

6. Find a way to close the ritual: have a cup of herb tea, a shower or steam bath, make a respectful bow, burn or archivewhat you've written, pray, dance, or sing. What you are doing is focusing your spiritual and emotional energy and making a commitment to yourself to carry out this new focus.
© 2012 Tina B. Tessina
adapted from: Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences (Kindle and Paperback)
If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Anticipating Change
Apology and Forgiveness
Asking for What you Want
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
The Colors of You
Comforting the Little Orphan Girl
The Courage to Hope
Detox Your Life
Emotional Hygiene
Emotions as Weather
The Family of the Heart
Four Steps to Success
Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence
Gentle Persistence
Getting Along With Each Other
Getting Out of Your Way
Give Yourself a Gift
Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness
How to Stretch Time
Into Every Life
Intuition or Inner Knowing
Kindness and Happiness
Learning Forgiveness
Letting Go Takes Love
Life Lessons
The Meaning of Life
Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
Patterns of Change
The Power of Purpose
Resolving Inner Anarchy
Surviving Loss & Thriving Again
Tapping Your “Inner Mentor” to Create New Meaning in Your Life
Turnaround Time
Winning The War Within
Without Ego
You Are a Gift
Your Heart’s Desire
Your Job on Earth

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com

MAILBOX
Re:The Shape of Peace
Hi Tina, So enjoy hearing from you and your monthly wisdom. Your Holiday greetings and words were lovely. We hope you continue to enjoy the assistance you give to help people with their day to day challenges. have a wonderful holiday and healthy, happy 2012. Best regards, Ellie and Hardy

Thank you, Ellie & Hardy. How nice to receive your good wishes.

I enjoyed your "Peace" article. Your advice is practical and beneficial, just what folks need to hear. I tell my church members and clients that for immediate peace, they should say this affirmation: "I choose peace now." If it's said after taking a few calming breaths, you can feel the relief, the lifting, in the solar plexus immediately! Whenever I get harried, I say it with focus, and wow, what a difference! Adrian

Thank you, Adrian - - excellent idea, from your excellent work.

I very much liked your recent email article about Peace and how contradictory our society and media are in what they "sell" to us on how we should behave towards one another. I couldn't agree more with what you wrote. Well said. Thank you very much, Susan

Thank you, I’m glad you liked the newsletter, Susan

thank u tina, as always i love your wisdom n pass it on 2 many friends. warmly, cookie

Hi, Cookita! Thanks for the compliment and for passing the newsletter on. Egualmente, mi amiga.

l love the fact that you're such an optomist, Tina. lt's folks like you who make the world a better place. Jeff

Thanks, Jeff: I’m glad you're enjoying the newsletter, and I wish you many reasons to smile.

Interesting stuff...as usual. I would suggest, however, that peace is not a priority in today's world. There is no money to be made in peace....War is where the money is!! Unfortunately, there is no "ChaChing!" attached to peace...only to war. As long as war is so profitable...peace will not stand a chance! I fear we are doomed....money rules! Lloyd

Ah, but peace can make you happy where money won't… people eventually figure that out.

Wow. And thank you. David

Thank you, David, I’m glad you liked it.