Happiness Tips from Tina

Hello, Friends:

Welcome to our new subscribers, I’d love to hear from all of you, and to share your e-mails with the newsletter list. This month for the first time, I've printed the e-mails I got from all of you at the bottom of this newsletter. I will post new letters each month from now on.

Happiness Tip:

We often get out of touch or out of sorts with people – sometimes they leave or pass on, sometimes we quarrel, sometimes we just grow apart. If your connection, or lack of one, with someone is troubling you, here’s a simple way to ease your mind and your heart.

HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER

Writing has a powerful effect on our emotional state. The following exercise is designed to help you fully express feelings that may have lain dormant for a long time, or may be too intense and jumbled for your to process effectively. You’ll find it helpful in expressing what you feel, especially if you’re having difficulty letting go, forgiving, grieving for or being appropriately angry at someone.

THIS LETTER IS NOT DESIGNED TO BE MAILED TO ANYONE. After you write it, you may decide to write another appropriately adjusted for the other person to read. The point of this is to let your feelings out, uncensored and unedited. Begin by expressing your anger, resentment and blame and allow yourself to move through the other levels until you get down to the love.

You may find your feelings begin pouring out as you write. If so, just go with what you feel. If you get stuck or confused, using the following suggested lead-in phrases may help you.

1. ANGER AND BLAME
I don’t like it when.............
I resent...........
I hate it when
I’m fed up with.......
I’m tired of...........
2. HURT AND SADNESS
I feel sad when......
I feel hurt because.......
I feel awful because........
I feel disappointed because...........
3. FEAR AND INSECURITY
I feel afraid..........
I’m afraid that..............
I feel scared because..............
I don’t understand..........
4.GUILT AND RESPONSIBILITY
I’m sorry that.......
I’m sorry for........
Please forgive me for.........
I didn’t mean to...........
5.LOVE, FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING AND DESIRE
I love you because...........
I love when..........
Thank you for.........
I understand that........
I forgive you for.........
I want...............

Now, put the letter away for a couple of days, then re-read it and decide if you want to share part of it with the other person . If you’re writing to someone who has passed on, you may want to burn the letter, to symbolically “send” it.

Adapted from It Ends With You © 2003 Tina B. Tessina

Here's how we can get to know each other better.

Upcoming book signings and events:

Sunday, July 13, 2003 Society for the Scientific Study of Sex -- Los Angeles Chapter -- I'm speaking on "Different Strokes: Counseling Poly and Alternative relationships" call 310/836-1662 for info

Saturday, September 13, 2003 Angel’s Gate Cultural Center, San Pedro, CA. I’m moderating a performance art event.

Sunday, September 21, 11:00-12:15 West Hollywood Book Fair. I’m moderating a panel on “Writing the Non-Fiction Book”

Radio
My radio show: "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" airs every Thursday. 4-4:30 PM on KUCI 88.9 FM, and is simulcast on www.kuci.org. People can tune in, and call in at 949-824-5824 to ask questions on air.

Online Classes for Continuing Education Credit
Now you can get CE credits online based on my books:

It Ends With You http://www.ce-credit.com/Clinical/b_itendswithyou.htm

How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free http://ce-credit.com/Clinical/b_howcouple.htm

The Real 13th Step http://ce-credit.com/Addictions/b_13thstep.htm

To browse my books, visit www.tinatessina.com

I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at
tina@tinatessina.com.

MAILBOX

I love getting all your e-mails, and will answer each one personally!

thanks,
tina

Thanks for the newsletter. Boy, you really brought back memories with that bit, "Make new friends,keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold." We used to sing that in Girl Scouts--it was a round, and we
would keep it going forever. Best...

Mary W.

Hello, Tina. I want you to know how much I appreciate being on your mailing list. I enjoy your writing very much and found the last article "Silver and Gold" especially inspirational.

Gwen H.

Tina,
It is wonderful to see that you are fully utilizing the internet to promote your incredible breadth of knowledge and experience...You go girl! Take it easy and have a wonderful summer-

Rinaldo H.

Love what you have to say. I hope your message(s) is widespread. Keep up
the good work.

Lloyd B.

What a nice way to communicate this information. I compliment you on your use of this technology. - from John G.

Thanks for the subscription to your newsletter...
All the best,

Greg R.

Tina: I'd like to pass this along to members of my personal list. May I? It's very good advice.--
Judith T.

Thanks!
Hugs hugs.
Worried in Indiana.

Lee R.

What a beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes. My Teddy did not fare so well with his tummy closed with an ironing board safety pin. My mother threw him out in the trash numerous times and I always found him, until the last time.

Hugs Ria S.

What a JOY to be on your newsletter list.
Best, SKYY L.

Thanks! I loved the doll story. Your book titles are enticing...
ellen

Hi Tina, I read your first newsletter and it was a touching story. I'm looking forward to more of your newsletters.

Arline Z.

Hi Tina-- Love your first article/story about the doll and the christening dress and how it fit into your life and heart. You never cease to amaze me with you seemingly endless energy to be creative and roductive. Keep it going. I know you impact many lives for the better. Take care and I look forward to more. Rosalie C.

Hi Tina,

That was a great story, one I needed to hear today. Congratulations on all of your continued success.
Best wishes to you,

Tim L.

What a wonderful story--and a lovely break from a busy day. Could see it all so clearly (wanted to be there, actually) and got progressively more misty from mid-point on. Thanks for sharing.
Barbara C

To be removed from this list, send an e-mail to tina@tinatessina.com with "remove" in the subject heading.

Wishing you joy,

Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com