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Newsletter Dated: 10/5/2009 8:24:00 PM
Subject: Happiness Tips from Tina: Kindness and Happiness
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Happiness Tip: Kindness and Happiness
This newsletter is late, because recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received -- from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to heal and take care of myself – made me feel blessed, despite the pain. I don’t think there’s a greater happiness in life than knowing the people who love you are there for you.
We can cry together when loss is inevitable; and fight together when there's a chance something can be changed for the better. We can go for a walk, and share an hour of stories and mutual ideas. Contrary to the currently popular notion that what you have is more important than anything else, I find that who I know, who cares about me, who is there for me makes the difference in how well my life goes.
I have a textile art piece in the hall outside my office – a beautiful quilt square by Cynthia A Morgan – containing the following quotes about kindness:
A Kind Word textile art piece by Cynthia A Morgan
“One kind word can warm three winter months” – Japanese proverb
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see” – Mark Twain
“Forget injuries; never forget kindnesses” – Confucius
“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate” – Albert Schweitzer
“That best portion of a good man’s life; his little nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love” – Wm. Wordsworth
“No acts of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” – Aesop
“The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves” – Amelia Earhart
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” – Dalai Lama
“Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness
Kindness in giving creates love” – Lao Tzu
If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas:
*Kindess begins on the inside – learn to be as kind in talking to yourself as you are to others – then, keep improving. Self-talk sets the bar for the happiness in your life.
*Letters, e-mails, notes and cards expressing kind words to your friends, kids or spouse and family, even when you live together or nearby. Getting uplifting messages will inspire anyone’s day.
*When you know someone who is ill, bereaved, down or needs help; get together with other friends and work together to get them what they need: whether it’s a meal, some company, or errands run.
*So many of us are lost about how to help a friend in times of grief; but all that’s really needed is a little kindness and a listening ear. Grief needs a witness, and you can listen sympathetically.
* Don’t forget to express your gratitude, beginning with the simple "Magic Words" -- please and thank you. Manners are social lubricant -- they hold society together, and they show respect to others. There's respect for self (treating oneself as you would a good friend), respect for family and friends, respect for differences, like other cultures, races, religions. There are certainly rewards for kindness. It lubricates social connections, and lays a foundation for love, friendship, business success and social recognition in your own life.
* One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to keep a positive outlook and see the silver lining. Often we feel unlucky because we aren't noticing the luck we have. Even if something bad has happened, such as the loss of someone dear, the fact that you had such a person in your life was lucky, or having something to lose, in the first place, is lucky. By all means, express grief for your loss, but also remember the gift that you had whatever time with that person before the loss.
* Every gift is an expression of love, and every giver should be thanked graciously, no matter what the gift is. Whether you’re giving or receiving, what counts is the thought, not the value.
May you give and receive kindness as much as possible – it will make you happy.
© 2009 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Squabbling About the Three Things That Can Destroy Your Marriage (Adams Media) ISBN# 978-1-59869-325-6
If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html
Apology and Forgiveness
Aspects of Love
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
The Colors of You
Comforting the Little Orphan Girl
The Courage to Hope
The Family of the Heart
Getting Along With Each Other
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
Humor & Hope
Learn to See Through The Eyes of Love
Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends
The Meaning of Life
Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds
Peace Begins at Home
The Power of Politeness
Relating With Love
Stop Reacting and Start Relating
Turn on Your Charm
Weaving The Web
You Are a Gift
Your Bestest Friend - You
Your Primary Relationship
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Please look for my newest book: The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart (Adams Media, June 2008) ISBN # 1-59869-432-4
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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
Re: Peace Begins at Home
Using your suggestions in your last Newsletter Bill (81) and I (78) actually got through a few days with no bickering! Always "nonsense" things. My driving is one! Thanks Tina.
Thank you for sharing, Madelyn. Glad you had peaceful time.
Jeepers Tina, this was awesome. Will send it to everyone I know for I know it will help them tremendously. Thanks again!!! Wishing u eternal happiness, La Cookita
Hola, Cookita! Muchas gracias.
Tina, You are someone who understands the deep truths of pacifism more than most. Because of this – and for many other reasons, you are often in my thoughts, Just wanted you to know. Your friend in Peace and Love, Randy
Randy, thank you so much. I know you know what you’re talking about.