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Susan L Corpany

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The "Whenever Newsletter" containing the wit and wisdom of LDS author Susan Law Corpany is put out several times a year, but not on any set schedule. You will find the stories behind the stories, excerpts from works in progress, humorous insights, ideas for how to avoid doing housework. In other words--whatever and whenever. (Just a touch of rebellion.) Subscription is free and free from the contraint of a publishing schedule, because after all, writers are under enough deadlines. Enjoy!

Newsletter Dated: 5/23/2012 8:01:14 AM

Subject: Musings on Motherhood now available

I just published a collection of essays about mothers, kind of a "momoir" with stories about my mother and my experiences as a mother and stepmother, mother-in-law and grandmother. It is priced to move at 99 cents until the end of the month, so you can still get one for yourself and/or your mother.

Also available in paperback:

Here is a humorous excerpt:

Easter Eggs
For old times’ sake, my teen-age son and I had decided to color some Easter eggs. Okay, I decided. He was humoring me. Perhaps I was trying to recapture those innocent days of childhood when he still believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and that Mom was the most awesome woman in the world. I could banish booboos and bullies. He thought my macaroni and cheese was a gourmet meal. I was smart enough to help him with his homework.
I realized that somewhere along the way I had plummeted from my perch on the pedestal and had become human. I had reached the pinnacle of my parenthood and was descending fast. I can’t pinpoint the exact day I moved from the “credit” to the “debit” column. I tried one day to make a withdrawal from my account and suddenly discovered I was in the red, when I’d been so sure I had a cushion in that account.
At one point, realizing I was not only no longer a superhero, but now a hideous embarrassment, I offered to have a t-shirt made that declared “I am with my mother for transportation purposes only.” One night the hormone fairy appeared and in one fell swoop he went from sweet to sarcastic. Nevertheless, I carried on, as hopeful that I could reclaim his lost youth as I was that I could reclaim my own and magically awake to thighs free of cellulite, eyes free of crow’s feet and body parts that were not in a constant state of free fall.
The coloring kit had changed since the last time we’d colored eggs together. Instead of little pills, there were color capsules. I assumed they were self-dissolving like the pills, and we plopped one into each of the waiting jars of water and vinegar. Soon we realized nothing had happened.
“I bet we were supposed to open the capsules and pour the contents into the water,” I said. I got a spoon and we fished the capsules out, dried them the best we could, and tried to pry them open. We laughed as our fingers turned bright blue, red and purple. At best we dribbled enough solution into the water to produce some pale pastel eggs.
“I guess next time we should read the directions first,” I suggested.
My son grabbed the instruction sheet. “Here’s what we missed,” he said.
“Does it say you’re supposed to open the capsules and dump the contents into the water?”
“I don’t know, but it says here that we should be sure to have adult supervision.”
Okay, I accept it. He’s grown up.
I understand this is a sign that adoring grandchildren are in my future.


On an unrelated note:

The owner of Cedar Fort, the company that published my last novel, is making a bid to be able to conduct the Mo Tab. His name is Lyle Mortimer, and he needs about 600 more votes to catch up to the guy out in front, more to stay ahead, because that guy will keep getting votes, too. Vote for Lyle and share the link, if you feel so inclined.

Thanks everybody and have an awesome summer!

Come see us at our vacation house in Hawaii if you run out of things to do.

Susan Corpany

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