-With My Apologies To Clement Moore-
'Twas just about two weeks before Christmas,
When we had a late night intruder, in our house;
I immediately suspected it was fearless Speedy,
The very intrepid little tomato thief, without a doubt.
Stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that old St. Nick, soon would be there;
Our pets were all nestled, very snug in their beds,
While visions of pet treats, danced in their heads.
Mean Tall Woman in a 'kerchief, and I in a cap,
Had just now settled in, for a long winter's nap;
When down by the fireplace arose such a clatter,
I sprang from our bed to see what was the matter.
And now, the glow from our old burning fireplace,
Gave the luster of mid-day, to that very bright place;
When, what to my wondering old eyes should appear,
But Speedy, obviously, a brave little mouse with no fear.
And now, more rapid than eagles, many of our pets came,
Soon, I whistled, and I shouted, and I called them all by name:
"Now, Turbo! Now, Tater! Now Blanca, Junior, and Little Jack!
Now, Gracie and Groucho, and Fat Louie, don’t any of you attack!”
And now to the very top of the mantle, then to the curtains on the wall,
Little Speedy dashed away, dashed away, up and away, down the hall;
And soon, all of our pets, like a wild hurricane, down that old hall did fly,
But they couldn’t catch daring old Speedy, no matter how hard they tried.
And now, giving them a triumphant nod and wink, through the dog door, he fled;
But I swear that I heard hopeful little Speedy shout out as I headed back off to bed:
"I’ll be back, on Christmas Eve night;
Please leave a tomato, on the mantle,
Right above the fire, out in plain sight!"
“Uh, Sweetie, Wake Up, Wake Up;
Put a Tomato on Our Christmas Gift List!”
“Go Back to Sleep, You Goofy Old Moron.”
Unbeknownst to my spouse and pets,
Speedy lives quite happily in our shed;
And he loves stealing our ripe tomatoes,
I often find what’s left of them, in his tiny bed.
How Could I Not Give This Very Brave Little Guy,
A Big, Fat, Juicy, Red Ripe Tomato For Christmas?
Unlike We Very Selfish and Self Important Humans,
The Simplest Gifts, Always Fill an Animal, With Bliss.
©December 2011, Mr. Ed