Empty Arms, Empty Heart
by Joy L. Hale
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Slowly awakening in a dimly lit room
I hear people talking softly, sniffling
Into hankerchiefs, moaning occasionally
Then saying, "I think she is waking up."
Fighting my way through a cotton candy web
Of drugged sleep, I turn to the voices
Trying to make out their faces, finally realizing
That my family and friends are gathered near.
Why are they all so quiet? They should be
Rejoicing with me, for I have just given birth
To my first baby. Searching the room, I saw
Flowers in vases, cards lined up on the dresser
Displayed in a room of silence.
So thirsty. My tired voice asks
"Can I have some water, please?
The nurse at my side, lovingly lifting
My head to quench my thirst.
Smiling down at me with such empathy
In her eyes, I ask, "Can I see my baby now?
Did I have a boy or girl, please tell me?."
Deep sadness shades her eyes.
The husband of my youth came to my side
With tear stained eyes, gently touching my face
"Sweetheart, you have had the baby, only.......
Oh, dear God, I can't tell her, help me please."
Caught in the strong arms of my father, my husband
Told me about the stillborn birth of my baby boy
Perfect in every way, but strangled on the umbilical
Cord just before the labor pains started.
When I heard the keening voice of the bereaved,
I wished the sound would stop. Suddenly realizing
the sound was coming from my broken heart,
The nurse arrived with a needle, blocking out the
Sounds of tears and heartache as I slipped
Away into total darkness.
I will never forget the day I left the hospital
The day was bright with the promise of Spring
In stark contrast to the aching realization that
I would be leaving today without my baby.
Looking at the statue of St. Vincent, I prayed for
Strength, for the healing of my heart, for another
Child to be born alive and healthy
As I walked out the door empty handed.
Joy L. Hale August 4th, 2011
All Rights Reserved
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|Reviewed by Steve Ralph
|again a very very sad memory, very well penned, I wish you well,
|Reviewed by J Howard
|your voice rings the pain of too many...losses...losses of hope for a new future, hope for a new love, and hope of a new creation...but always there is rebirth, not in today but in a far away tomorrow. -beautifully written.|
|Reviewed by Rosemarie Skaine
|Expresses well a heartache that never quite completely goes away. R|
|Reviewed by Barbara Henry
|The pain is evident, but the manner in which you have expressed it is
cathartic. Very touching, Joy
|Reviewed by jude forese
|a tragic event to endure and overcome ... you expressed it quite movingly ...
when i was carried out the door, it was minus a mother ...
|Reviewed by TONY NERONE
|A very sad yet heartfelelt writing of lifes complications.
GOD BLESS YOU
|Reviewed by Christine Tsen
|Incredibly beautiful writing Joy, laced with heartache and such exquisitely rendered emotion!
I can't imagine the sadness and pain of this, but I can almost, just almost imagine it. Mine were at 14 weeks when I lost them, there were five one after the other. I love the way you have articulated this from so many angles. Beautiful poem!
|Reviewed by ANNA CLOUTIER (Reader)
|JIOYCE,,,THANKS FOR SHARING THIS WITH US...POWERFULLY WRITTEN WITH EMOTION, LOSS AND PAIN. A WONDERFUL AND HEARTFELT WRITE. BLESSINGS MY FRIEND ZND KEEP GOING WITH YOUR WONDERFUL WORDS, ANNA|
|Reviewed by Michelle Mead
|Wow, Joy. It's so wonderful that you were able to share this with others because it WILL help so many in the same sad situation as well as yourself in writing it. No one can understand the loss of a child until they have lost one themselves. It is like a piece of you is forever missing. Thanks for sharing your heart's pain with us.|
|Reviewed by Marjorie Baker (Reader)
|My Dear Joy, You did it and I'm so proud of you! We have shed tears together for one another. This has to be experienced to be understood. I was able to keep our baby boy long enough to hold him. I'm so sorry that you missed that. You and I have much in common. We share the bond of loss, fun times, health problems. Perhaps that's why God brought us together and made us dear friends. This is a wonderful thing you did. God bless you and God bless our friendship! I love you, Marge|
|Reviewed by James Johnston
|Dear Joy, when I read your words of bereavement, anguish, torment, heart break and all the reactions to unbearable loss, my mind is unable to convey adequate empathy or sympathy into words. I am reminded of my own sister's loss of an infant boy. I'm sure you know the story. You both survived the losses through strong faith in our Lord and Savior and He rewarded you with the loan of more children. May I leave you this little quote? ~~~ "If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again".
God Bless, Dear Joy, and know that I am roaming through your Den to add my comments, for what they are worth.~~~ Just Jim
|Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather
peace to you and your little angel. ~ Morgan
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|Thank you for sharing this moving and meaningful write, Joy. Love, peace, and healing,
|Reviewed by Joyce Bell
|YES...EMPTY ARMS AND EMPTY HEART BUT OH, JOY...SO FULL OF FAITH! '...I PRAYED FOR STRENGTH, FOR THE HEALING OF MY HEART, FOR ANOTHER CHILD TO BE BORN ALIVE AND HEALTHY...' THIS WORK IS DEEPLY EMOTIONAL AND WRACKED WITH PAIN, BUT IT IS SO INSPIRING! YOU 'PRESSED ON' AND LOOKED FORWARD TO ANOTHER TIME. THIS IS A STRONG WORK, DONE WELL AND ENJOYED. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS & FAITH...JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS|
|Reviewed by Clarence Prince
|"I prayed for strength, for the healing of my heart, for another child to be born alive and healthy." It takes great faith to say that, Joy and with our God all things are possible. Take courage!|
|Reviewed by Gopal Prapannabrat
|so deep. like the way of expression of the situation. nice poem.|
|Reviewed by Linda Hill
This brought tears to my eyes, Joy. May God be with you and give you comfort every day of your life. You will see your baby one day. I could feel your pain in every verse, Joy. God bless you.
|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
|Touched me so deeply Joy, brought my tears.|
|Reviewed by Gene Williamson
|Joy, may the day soon come when your prayers are answered. -gene.|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|Seeing this intense amount of pain and sadness through your words made me stop and perhaps for the first time understand what a mother who loses a child this way truly feels. I cannot begin to imagine but at least now I can try to understand. Thank you for sharing such an intense part of your heart.
|Reviewed by Laura Fall
|Oh my how sad as this is a truly touching and heartfelt poem indeed Laura
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|So very sad, and so very heartfelt, Joy.|
|Reviewed by Richard King
|I've found it so difficult to write about some of the sadness in our lives and nothing can be more sad than losing a child, no matter what age, no matter how long ago it occurred.
I must say however, you've done an excellent job of conveying the emotions experienced by all who are affected.
Nicely penned. Thank you Joy. Dick
|Reviewed by Christine Alwin
|Joy, My heart just sinks into the pit of my stomach, I can't imagine the pain and sorrow to expierence such a loss. Bless your little Angel, he will always be held in your arms and heart, he is protected now in the best of hands~
|Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
|Dearest Lady Joy, so very special, this place in your heart, that You have shared with us of heartfelt sorrow...I truly wish that we could understand, but God is all knowing...However, this I know, God Loves You, and so do We....Always Love, Lady Vivian|
|Reviewed by Joy Hale
|Mark, I have written the hardest poem I will ever write. Yes, the pain, somehow, is always fresh, no matter how much time elapses. I cried while writing the poem and cried again while reading your tender response. I have other children now to replace the pain of that first birth, but will never forget my first baby boy, held close in my heart for all time. Joy|
|Reviewed by John Flanagan
|This tears at my heart, Joy,
and of course it tore at yours, the loss
of life so personal, the life you carried.
i'm not sure we men fully understand a woman's loss
but i do try.
Much love to you,
|Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
|Joy , what can a friend like me say. It is not like I can hold your hand or hug you. But I certainly can tell you how sad I am for you for the death of a baby, for the death of your baby is a sorrow I can only, no, in truth, I cannot imagine. I know this was many years ago as I know that you, like I, are no longer young, but obviously, no matter how long ago this personal tragedy occurred, I know it still tugs at your heart as though it were yesterday.
Sorry I cannot hold you close of a minute to tell you, I am so sorry.
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Oh boy. This is a sad, sad thing to have happened, Joy, and words can't be said or written to convey the sorrow I have for you and your husband. A truly, sad, sad day.|