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Unfinished Kisses
by
Jim Morton
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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unfinished kisses
how crazy is it
that I look for you
in crowds where
you couldn’t possibly be.. ?
our time and space
is measured
in overflowing moments
of unfinished kisses
and scheduled touches
that linger….
on
and on…
waiting for a miracle
yet, sure it will come
I live as a happy man
for you,
roses in the morning
and sweet kisses at night
the ones that speak of love
the ones that transcend
the inner and the outer,
moving forward toward tomorrow
yet, comforting you just right
today
how crazy is it
that I look for you
in crowds where
you couldn’t possibly be.. ?
wait.
isn’t that how I found you ?
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| Reviewed by Denise Edwards |
11/19/2008 |
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| How is it I just found your site, Jim? I've been missing out on some wonderful, romance poetry here! |
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| Reviewed by Karen Palumbo |
9/23/2008 |
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How wonderfully, sensitively expressed...
Be always safe,
Karen |
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| Reviewed by Darryn Murphy |
9/23/2008 |
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| beautiful poem :) |
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| Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford |
9/23/2008 |
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WOW Jim, a poem I relate to 100% and incredibly well written. You deserve a prize for this one. Now I'm off to see what else you have posted here and to add you to my tracking list.
Be of Good Cheer,
Marcia |
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| Reviewed by Leysa Lowery |
9/23/2008 |
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| Simply wonderful ... loved the style, the message ... nicely done. |
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| Reviewed by Tim Baker |
9/23/2008 |
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Your lead in stanza and your last two stanzas are AWESOME. They give a fresh look on something that a lot of us have experienced... finding that special someone...
And I especially love how the last two lines tie everything together.
The only thing critical I would offer is that the middle could be a little more exciting in the same way that the beginning and ending are. For instance, "sweet kisses at night" feels a little rote; like something I may have heard before, but it definitely doesn't add to the excitement you created with your beginning and ending...
I think with a little different framing and using the same creative energy you used in the beginning and end, you can have a piece that sparks and sparkles all the way through.
Just MHO :)
Happy writing!
T. |
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| Reviewed by Mary Lacey |
9/23/2008 |
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Jim,
This is very beautiful. Loved ones are often hidden in crowds.
Mary |
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