Join Free! | Login 

   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Blue Sleighty, iPhyllis Jean Green, iDonna Lynch, iStephen Cafaro, iPinckney Rivers, iJoyce Scarbrough, iShoma Mittra, i
  Home > Poetry > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Bryon Smith

  + Follow Me   

· 27 titles
· 30 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: Sep, 2003

   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

· Ember Reign - Be the Angel (Book 3)

· Ember Reign - Project Fallen Angel (Book 2)

· Ember Reign - The Crown (Book 1)

· Megan Martin

· Dark Matter

· The Adventures of Megan Martin - Night Visions

· The Adventures of Megan Martin - A Space in Time

· The Adventures of Megan Martin - A Christmas Story

· The Adventures of Megan Martin - The Underworld

· The Adventures of Megan Martin - The Medallion Mystery

Short Stories
· The Dream of Foggy Creek

· Bobby Gets A Boo Boo!

· Kim of New Eden

· Ember Reign 2: Project Fallen Angel. Ember's Wings.

· Ember Reign - Roughing It

· Ember Reign Returns

· Ember Reign - Prologue

· Megan hates spiders too!

· Ember Reign 1 Segment

· Ghosts of Gold Hill, NV

· Megan Martin

· Nebula, "Finger Print of God."

         More poetry...
· Ember Reign now has 3 novels in print!

· Ember Reign novels on Kindle

· Megan Martin

· Rewrite of The Adventures of Megan Martin

· Dark Matter is now in print!

· Adapted to Screenplay format!

· Book Signing

Bryon Smith, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Books by Bryon Smith
  Dipwad Dundy, Can't Get A Ride.
by Bryon Smith
Friday, September 05, 2003

Share   Print   Save

Recent poems by Bryon Smith
•  Nebula, "Finger Print of God."
           >> View all 2

While answering a message to a friend of mine and professional videographer who I was counting on to join me on a paranormal video/TV production in Virginia City, NV I had a moment of insperation. He said he likely couldn't make it. The other person who I was counting on as backup also said she couldn't make it. And I wrote this poem in that message to my friend Matthew. Of course the business about "Dipwad Dundy" is an inside joke. Some of us will find the poem funner than most of you will.

Yes, some of it doesn't rhyme, but you will later see it was intended to be that way.

If you want to know who Dipwad Dundy is you can check him out on

"Dipwad Dundy," 'Can't Get a Ride.'


So I said "Self" as I sometimes do,

"I'll beg someone out there to haul me around, :-)  that's what I'll do. 

And there will be people standing in line to drive me where I want to go." 

 Then I hung my head I frowned and said

"Oh God, Oh God, I'm so screwed 'Right there!'"

So I'll get me a big sturdy bag with handle and big wheels.
Up the steep hill I'll go just clicking my heels.
They will see me out there pulling my load, cursin' and yellin'...
"Look at that clown, he's so not Gellin'"

My tickets are bought, my schedule is set,
Walking or no I'll be on that production set.
In a haunted building, hotel or mansion,
Those ghosts just better watch out, because Ol’ Dipwad Dundy is coming to town.

'Videographer missing in action,' the headlines will read,
Dipwad Dundy held for ransom, by ghosts if you please.
People will look at each other and scratching their heads,
"Dipwad Dundy, it says, was raising the dead!"

The Sheriff will shake his head this I am sure,
Take a sip of his coffee and give it a stir.
He will read the report while shaking his head,
This city will be better off, but likely he's dead.

He'll take a bite of his donut and then he'll explain,
"He's wanted for disturbing the peace, the ghosts even complained.
For jay-walking, blocking traffic, and being a pain,
If I had him right now he'd be on the next plane.

He'll nail the missing person poster to the telephone pole,
Then he'll pull up his pants and tuck in his shirt so his belly button won't show.
Then with a shake of his head he will go,
”You-all think this is funny but he's wanted you know.”

"For what?" they will ask. "For a serious crime?"
The Sheriff explains, "In the penny token machine he put in a dime!
It's serious you know, a terrible crime,
And for writing bad poems that don't rhyme.”

When the production is finished and the credits roll,
Near the bottom lines a message is told...
"Are you frightened of ghosts, Did we give you a scare?"
"This production is dedicated to the memory, Of Dipwad Dundy, right there."

Dipwad Dundy's Website.

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Barbara Mercer 6/3/2007
Wonderfully funny poem, thanks for making me laugh.
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 2/23/2006
We, Birgit and I have been in his business for a little while and there's one thing for sure, this is a great poem. Kudos to you!! Roger and Birgit
Popular Poetry (Poetry)
  1.  A Prisoner's Freedom
  2.  Gold-digger
  3.  Ostrich Ride and other Tales
  4.  A Poem for my Paula
  5.  The Blessed Blanket
  6.  Quiet Parting
  7.  the wolf
  8.  Alice
  9.  You Can Have Me
  10.  Strikingly Naked

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.