Numbness creeping up my arms and down my legs
Wretched pain still twisting in my gut
The bloodied knife being cleaned by my assassin
While his lips press down on hers
So peaceful the lovers appear, in my window
Locked in an embrace of passion and betrayal
My eyes splintered by the glass fragments of rejection
Who are you, new bitch of his loins, destroyer of my life?
Why won't this fucking pain go away, why can't I die?
He'd snort, "you can't even die right you stupid bitch."
And he'd be right, the fucker that he is
But the joke is on him, because he can't even live right,
Fucker that he is
My love never enough to soothe him, to please him
My touch in love met with wrath and fury delivered by his fists.
Not to worry, the wall can be replaced
What lovely furniture the neighbor's have I think to myself
As he rams me through the wall again and again
Until blood tinges my view with a red haze
How will she fail him, his newest bitch?
What nonsensical thing will drive him to tear at her
Rip her life apart, one shred of innocence at a time?
The numbness is coming and going, why is that?
It's all so clear, then foggy as hell, right and wrong,
Up and down, here and there, dead and alive
How come I'm still awake? Why can't I even die right?
He kisses her so tenderly
I feel like an intruder in my own home
How many pills will she swallow
To try to be rid of him and his loving kindness
I wonder as I lay on the bed, feeling queasy and euphoric
I want release from them, from him, from her, from it all
God saw fit to take from me any reminder of him
Though my growing womb felt friendly, it betrayed me
As he now has
Death, do you now betray me too?
Am I to go on living this miserable life?
No comfort in hell even?
You took my firstborn before
Any air could be drawn to it's lungs
But to me, you afford no such luxury?
I can bear no more, Death, please show me you have won
"What have you done, wake up, WAKE UP!
Damn you, wake up you stupid bitch!"
His voice pierces my heart with the last plunges of pain
Oh death, you mock me, no rest for the wicked this night, eh?
Until we meet again most formidable opponent
You return to your paradise
I to my torture; and my torturer.