A Prose Poem? A recipe? A celebration of the eroticism of chocolate and cream? Well why not, Easter was originally a pagan fertility festival.
(a whimsical recipe presented as a prose poem)Foreplay:First melt four ounces of unsalted butter.Set a pan on the stove and make it simmer; float a glass bowl on the undulating water. Unwrap the butter, peeling back the foil to reveal the slippery, bright yellow, yielding mass. Tear at the cool slab with bare fingers letting the melting fat lubricate the digits. Drop slick pieces into the womb of the bowl, watching as they surrender to the heat, melt and gather in a rich, honey - slow liquid. Keep the butter warm and fluid until it is needed.Take half a quarter pound of Graham crackers*, crush them into small pieces and drop the fragments into a bowl to be pounded into fine crumbs with anything that suits the job, a wooden pestle, smooth stone or a clenched fist. When you are satisfied, sift the crumbs through butter - slick fingers to check for large, harsh fragments, feeling the abrasion of rough, spiky granules against sensitive skin.Drizzle the warm, unctuous butter like healing balm onto the biscuit crumbs, massage in and feel how it it softens, bind the million fragments into one whole. With knuckles and fingertips press this compound hard onto the base of your dish. Set it aside and concentrate next on the soft filling, a miscellany of light and dark, strong and mellow.Break a four ounce block of pure, dark chocolate, the kind you buy in health food stores complete with a promise of goodness; wholeness, at least seventy per cent cocoa solids the label must promise as clearly as the smell, rich and bitter-sweet, cloudy and overpowering will tell of vibrant tropical forests, life force drawn from rich, cool earth, and flowing through the living tissue of trees to where the flowers, touched with pollen in the fullness of their season, have gestated new life; of things ripening in heavy heat, musty halls where the frenetic reproduction of microbes teases flavour from the fruit and adds natural sugar to fuel the a slow burn of long lasting stimulation. The Mating RitualMelt the chocolate in the same way as the butter, relishing the rich cocoa smell as, freed from the tyranny of form the deep brown mass transmutes into a thick, clinging puree. Mate with this four ounces of slow-pouring cream, fragrant as a fecund summer meadows where sleepy cows graze while their udders fill to bursting with nurturing milk. Blend the pale, soft cream and dark-as-mystery chocolate into a willing union, the contrasting textures joining sweetly into one.Marry this dark, seductive miscegenation of chocolate and cream to a half pound of Mascarpone cheese, vibrant as Italy, sweet as youth and full as a Mediterranean night, with the scent of green wine and harvests, clinging like sweat - slick skin as the blade lifts a portion from the greater mass. Stir together until pale and dark are one.Cupping a small, round orange in your half closed palm over this fusion, rub gently with a grating tool until sun-painted skin yields to the gentle frottage and offers its pungent, essential zest to your feast of senses. Take a handful of hazel nuts, plucked from heavy autumn boughs where they have clung until sere and yellow touched the woodlands and Orion reaced the end of his yearly journey and dipped into the underworld. Crack the pregnant shells and take out swollen kernels.With a mezzoluna chop these to fragments using a firm rocking motion; place on a dry skillet and toast, charming out the water to intensify ripe, nutty flavours.Set the toasted nuts aside to cool while you spoon the chocolate mixture over the base, stroking until it covers the biscuit base.. Scatter nuts over the surface and place in the refrigerator for two hours to chill the dish and broil your anticipation.Consummation:Cut a slice of the cheesecake, place it on your favourite part of your lover’s body and eat without the aid of fingers or cutlery. With the first mouthful the sharp thrill of cold hits first, an initial shocking penetration of your being, sharpening sensation, setting nerves on edge.Then in a smooth, misty - morning langour, the richness of cheese and cream fill you, followed by the heavy, feral hit of rich, strong chocolate, its muscular flavour of stored sunlight blended with earth magic fermented in cool darkness. Spiky nuts scratch, pinch, tease. Explosions of orange strike, strike, strike, staccato bursts of intensity; and then all flow together, the oneness. The whole becomes greater than the parts, sensation spreads caressing the palette, seeking each taste bud, every neurone strectching, swelling until the pleasure is unbearable, nerves explode, yielding to the climax that is fluttering down into the stomach like a lovers fingers. The sensation fades and is repeated, and is repeated and is repeated.....This is a genuine recipe presented in a totally over-the-top way. To try it you need 8 ounces Mascarpone Cheese, 4 ounces double cream, 4 ounces plain (dark) chocolate (check label for "at least 70% pure cocoa solids”) 4 ounces unsalted butter, 6 ounces *Sweetmeal biscuits (Digestive biscuits in the UK - Graham Crackers in the US I am told); 1 small orange (Optional); a handful of hazelnut (or cobnut) kernels. Follow the instructions. If you and your partner try to make this together, following my instructions exactly the chances are you will end up smearing the filling over each others' bodies. That's cool. You have the rest of you life to keep trying until you actually get one finished.Calorie Counters - It isn't all that fattening, there is no added sugar! OK I’m a liar. I'm sure you can think of a way to work off all that additional fat intake.
Lovers Chocolate Cheesecake
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|Reviewed by Katy Walsvik
|"womb of the bowl"? "toasted nuts"? Jaysus, Ian.. This is a gorgeous write.. x-rated Betty Crocker.. I feel deliciously blended and stirred! You COOK! katy.|
|Reviewed by Diana
|are we not thinking alike? (instructional: how to eat godiva chocolates). me thinks you are adept in the kitchen and skilled in the bedroom. any man who takes the time to stretch out a recipe like this is VERY thoroughly a passionate lover and pays heed to a woman's every need. a hottie, making me hot! lotta lovin' di.|
|Reviewed by Candida Eittreim
|MMMMMMM this is delicious. So sensually evocative. Chockerlettes and passion!! Yummy read!
|Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson
|Well I'll be ***! This is unique! What an awesome creation and presentation! MMMMM! BRAVO!|
|Reviewed by Janet Caldwell
|Food & Sex, my favorites. Yummy, my love.
Forever, Jan xoxoxo
|Reviewed by Angel
|Goodness gracious! I have this sudden urge to hit the kitchen and find what turns me on!.. lol..|
|Reviewed by Sharon Williamson (Reader)
|Ummmmm!!! I have always loved chocolate....but this(whew) has made me take another look at all it's glories..sigh.
thanks for recipe and smile
|Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader)
|LOL-"the womb of the bowl" ...
THIS is very TASTY.... and so VERY naughty but I like :) You have me giggly! .... and my hair is not yellow! Will have to keep this on file somewhere!
LOL....I'm suddenly hungry Ian! LOL...Thanks-Teresa
|Reviewed by Theresa Koch
|Reviewed by Linda Hill
|Sounds VERY good to me!
Who ever thought cooking
could be exciting...?
This is superb!!:):)
|Reviewed by jing javier
|oh yummy! taste, looks and smells oh so good! =)|
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|Reviewed by A PAX
I thought you were not feeling well!!! LOLOL
Looks like you recovered! LOLOL
I am not domenstic, but this is sooooooo
I gotta copy this!!!
|Reviewed by Sara Coslett
|Oh man, you can cook for me anytime Ian. This is so rich; yummy for the tummy and elsewhere's.|
|Reviewed by Leysa Lowery
|I'm not sure for which I am most hungry now ... perhaps flesh ala cheesecake!|
|Reviewed by Digital Fairy
|ay caramba!! *is heading to the store first thing after work*|