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John DeDakis

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Member Since: May, 2006

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· Troubled Water (Kindle Edition)

· Troubled Water

· Bluff (Paperback Edition)

· Bluff (Hardcover Edition)

· Bluff (Kindle Edition)

· Fast Track (Kindle Edition)

· Fast Track (Paperback Edition)

· Fast Track (Hardcover)

Short Stories
· Metro Tableau

· My First Kiss

· Raquette Lake

· Soul 159 (The Long Version)

· Soul 159

· The Wren

· Wow

· Behind the Scenes in a Troubled Newsroom

· Who Should Direct the Movie of my Novel?

· Why I'm a Man Writing as a Woman

· I'm Afraid to Write!

· Advice on Writing a Novel

· Ode to a Mentor (or Letter from the Grave)

· Hope Can Spring From Tragedy

· Whittling it Down

· Dealing with Criticism: Some Suggestions

· Garbage Day

· Cemetery at Sunset

· Of Frosted Flakes and Southern Comfort

· Half Our Lives Ago

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· Coming to Vermont

· From Novice to Novelist

· From Novice to Novelist

· Workshop for Aspiring and/or Struggling Writers - Wisconsin

· Wow

· Behind the Scenes in a Troubled Newsroom

· Who Should Direct the Movie of my Novel?

· From Novice to Novelist

· Coming to Vermont

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  Metro Girl
by John DeDakis
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by John DeDakis
•  Garbage Day
•  Cemetery at Sunset
•  Of Frosted Flakes and Southern Comfort
•  Half Our Lives Ago
           >> View all 5

A poem for the girl who got away

 It's been eight months now since my 22-year-old son Stephen died.  The other day I came across a scrap of something he wrote. 


First, some background:   During one of my "girls-and-relationships" conversations with Stephen, he told me about a beautiful young woman he met at a subway stop on the D.C. Metro.  She'd been listening to her iPod and they got to talking about music.  Stephen told me they had major clickage.  At the time, he was a cook at Black's restaurant in Bethesda, Maryland; she was working in an office building nearby.  

As Stephen and I talked, he was lamenting that all he wanted was to have someone in his life he could love.  He said he thought Metro Girl might be that person, but he didn't know how to connect with her.  

"Why not?" I asked.  "Didn't you get her digits? Her email?" 

"Naw," he replied, shaking his head sadly.

"Dude!  You should have gotten her email."

"Dad!  I'm sorry.  I thought I'd see her again, okay?"   He was clearly annoyed with himself -- and with me for pointing out his egregious strategic error. But he agreed with me and resolved that if he ever saw her again, he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Six months after he died, I found something he'd scrawled on a scrap of paper, undated, with only a few cross-outs.  I think it might have been a rough draft of his updated strategy in case he ever met the girl of his dreams again. It's uniquely Stephen.  I figure his plan was to carry it around and give it to her the next time they met -- if ever.  It's a little fumbly-awkward, but charming, nonetheless.  He wrote it as prose, but it feels poetic, so I've kept his words, but poeticized the format.

Here it is:

Before we had even exchanged words, you stood out,
Your beauty radiating with the essence of an angel
Whose light was a beacon to what was good.
In a cold wasteland of drifting souls,
You were a warm shot of whiskey.

It was a one in a million chance of us meeting,
And you are a woman who comes every million years,
Your warm eyes can tell no lies.
So many connections are lost in passing,
So why should this be one of them?
Perhaps we could meet again,
But I'll make it a little easier this time....

[Here he inserted his phone number]

As far as I know, he never saw her again.  So, Metro Girl, this is for you -- wherever, and who ever, you are.  



In Memory of Stephen John DeDakis

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Reviewed by jeanne watson 3/23/2014

I sat here for some time trying to reach a decision as to whether it would be appropriate to respond to your post after such considerable time had passed. However, the memory you shared of your conversation with your son over "Metro Girl", followed by your son's own thoughts put to paper, were so sweet and insightful ... and so filled with a father's love that I simply wanted to acknowledge that I read "Metro Girl" and I am wiser person for doing so.

I am so glad that you found his prose/poem. I am sure the loss of your son never gets easier, so may you and your family always find the strength and support you need.

Reviewed by Rafika Anderson (Reader) 5/27/2012
What a beautiful, tragic tale--a modern Romeo and Juliet, Trust that they will meet again in another life.
Reviewed by Shirley Houston 5/13/2012
Absolutely beautifully written. It would be so awesome for her to read this piece. Thank you for sharing this!
Reviewed by Sandie May Angel-Joyce 5/8/2012
Hi John:

This is such a sweet poem. Your son, Stephen, obviously had care about this girl a lot. I'm so happy for you that you have found one of Stephen's fond memories.

((((( Hugs )))))
Sandi Angel
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 5/4/2012
Tragic to lose a son, I lost a brother in 1975 on his 21st bday..there is a reason you found this poem beyond that it was for this girl that caught more than his eye...messages for his Dad are here as well..a gift...I am so sorry for your loss.

Reviewed by jude forese 5/1/2012
sad, heartfelt write ... my condolences ...

life has a tendency of letting the people we feel an affinity for, slip away ...
Reviewed by Walt Hardester 5/1/2012
We all kick ourselves many times for missed chances.
For who is to say how they may have turned out?
Would our lives have turned out different?
Answers to questions we will never know.

Reviewed by Kay P Devenish 5/1/2012
A beautiful poem...this touched me,I am so sorry for your loss,he was very handsome and what a beautiful smile.Love to you and yours
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/30/2012
A touching story. There are many missed opportunities in life. I sense your son may have felt that she was beyond his station, working in that office. That often results in a missed connection even though there are sparks, purposely unfulfilled.

Reviewed by Christine Tsen 4/30/2012
Extraordinary, endless lyrics John ~ I marvel at this piece for so many reasons.
I'm desperately sorry for your loss, and he looks just like you, your smile.
Reviewed by Diana Wiles 4/30/2012
How lovely you have immortalised this chance meeting and your sons words have made the meeting momentous, and I'm sure your son would be happy about this...
He was very gifted in his expression. God Bless Him, and you too...
Love, Diana...
Reviewed by Janna Hill 4/29/2012
Bravo John. I may be [unknowingly] a romantic at heart for I imagine a girl somewhere wishing she had taken the initiative and offered her digits, then thinking... "No - I don't want him to think I'm forward or desperate." Stephen was a handsome young man with a beautiful smile.
May peace be upon you.
:) Janna
Reviewed by Budd Nelson 4/29/2012
This is a wonderful memory of your son, I am very sorry for your loss he sounds like a fine son.
Reviewed by Iliana Tersy-Tuzo 4/29/2012
you really touched me. i feel like crying. i'm so sorry for your loss. i'm so sorry for his almost. i have tears glistening in my eyes right now. thank you for sharing this. i mean it from the bottom of my heart. and the poem isn't rough at all. it's very beautiful. god bless you for sharing it.
Reviewed by J Lane 4/29/2012
Okay, I'll admit I weep at weddings, so it's no surprise this brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful. I have no other words for something so straight from a loving heart, and so romantic. What a precious memory of your son, John. Blessings to you, and to him.
Reviewed by D Johnson 4/29/2012
John, those one-in-a-million occasions are the memories that last forever. This was a wonderful poem.

Reviewed by pat medlin 4/29/2012
what a beautiful bitter-sweet message you've shared ... done with i imagine painful yet cathargic words.

isn't it amazing how his words go out now as a reminder to so many to 'seize the day'...moment...hour. i like to imagine that the 'metro girl' will sometime read this and remember their encounter with regret that she too did not get the digits from this man on the subhappenstance
Reviewed by Lois Christensen 4/29/2012
I'm sure if he saw her again, he would of been able to speak with her, his feelings were normal and he was a good writer also. i don't blame you for carrying it around with you, i would too, memories are always good to have and to know he was happy in life like this is such good therapy too. I thank you for sharing.

Books by
John DeDakis

Troubled Water (Kindle Edition)

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Troubled Water

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Bluff (Paperback Edition)

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Bluff (Hardcover Edition)

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Bluff (Kindle Edition)

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Fast Track (Kindle Edition)

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Fast Track (Hardcover)

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  1. Again I Ask For More...
  2. I Wish I Knew
  3. The Beauty Of Spring
  4. Reciting Those Words
  5. abstraction on evergreen sojourn
  6. Absurd Valley
  7. This Woman
  8. What Will Be
  9. an aging man still searching...
  10. Encounters: Little Red Riding Hood (and ot
  11. The Freight Train
  12. The Dancer
  13. The Dream Me
  14. Women Are Women
  15. Bottle Decapitation
  16. A Northern Ass...
  17. Standing Tall
  18. Word’s Amative Verse, of Baccara’s Black R
  19. Dew Drop Clause
  20. The Saga of Yupshit

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