AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
Happy 4th of July!
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Ron Cox, iMr. Ed, iAlfred Garrotto, iGeorg Mateos, iM. Andrew Sprong, iSteven Ulmen, iDavid Arthur Walters, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ronald W. Hull

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 820 Titles
· 9,973 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Ronald W. Hull, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Beyond Religion, Volume I, eBook
by Stan Law (aka Stanislaw Kapuscinski)

An Inquiry into the Nature of Being. eBook Edition, Non-fiction, 52 Essays, 240 pages ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Books by Ronald W. Hull
I Slapped Her
by Ronald W. Hull
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by Ronald W. Hull
•  Poet Up a Tree
•  Goodbye Bill
•  Stress 2.0
•  Quandary
•  Golden
           >> View all 708

Image Courtesy Bollywood

Can you believe I dreamed this and
just had to write it? ;-) Any resemblance
to my or anyone else's life is purely coincidental.


 

 

I Slapped Her


I slapped her hard on the left cheek,
before I could explain, she let out a shriek.
Her eyes narrowed to evil slits,
and her face turned a bright pink.

"Oh why did you have to do me this way,
I thought you loved me by what you say.
I thought I loved you, too,
but  with this, I rue the day."

She went to the closet and started packing her stuff,
nothing I could say to her was enough.
Her mind was made up and that was it,
I had no business being that rough.

"I'm calling my friend's lawyer today.
I hear he's good at divorces and takes little pay.
You can expect my summons in the mail,
I'm taking it all, and taking it my way."

She sulked around the house, pissing and moaning,
and then on the line, serial cell phoning.
"That MF that, and this MF this,"
she stormed out the door with a dire warning.

"I want you to know that I'm filing for assault.
Just in case you think it's not your fault.
And I'm taking our joint accounts today,
along with the safe deposit box in the vault."

I stood there stunned, at the slammed door,
rehashing in my mind what had happened before.
When that pesky mosquito landed on my cheek,
and I slapped her ass through her beak.

Copyright 2012 © Ronald W. Hull

6/12/12
Ron's Place
Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader)
Ron, you must have had wicked, cackling fun writing this.....along with some serious interpersonal relationship experience or knowledge to make the setting for this exceptionally witty story. I like what Jon said "you had me scurrying to the next line"......me too! ~~ Diana
Reviewed by Richard Dessauer
Enjoyed this poem, Ron. The ending is a hit (no pun intended). I felt sorry for that mosquito. Thanks for being there. I didn't join Writer's Den to convince anyone I was a great writer, but to have the opportunity to meet people like Ronald hull.

Richard Dessauer
Reviewed by Jon Willey
Ron, you had me scurrying to the next line and the next expecting to be in the midst of your divorce, until, you slapped me with your anopheles reality - on your cheek, her pesky beak - the punch line
is very creative - I wish you love and peace my friend - Jon Michael






Reviewed by Tom Hyland
RON ... GREAT PUNCH-LINE!
Reviewed by Felix Perry
Love the tongue in cheek or perhaps mosquito on cheek twist you put on this one...
fee
Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd
Dear me, this is an amusing piece about serious things. Good rhythm. Regarding writing about the past and how you feel. This is what writing poetry is all about. Rainbows
Reviewed by Deborah Tornillo
Ron: Who wouldn't slap a mosquito? Great Poem!

Deb
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Aren't dreams great? Thank you for sharing your wit and humor, Ron. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Lots of slapping going on here, Ron! I doubt any of us feel pity for the plight of that mosquito - whose fate was undoubtedly assured in the light of what had just been going on. But was the whole of the aforegoing also a personification of the blood-sucking and personal irritation it seems to be the life's work of mossies to bring upon humankind~? Now THAT would be some dream! If I were you I'd take the anti-malarials, just in case.... Hell hath no fury like a mosquito scorned.... xx
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Giggle...sounds like a nightmare!!! Thanks for the smiles, Ron!

Anna
Reviewed by richard cederberg
You have a unique sense of humor, Ron. Enjoyed!
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Wow - I didn't even slap her, but my first wife got everything that I had. And watch out for them pesky Skeeters, too.
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse
lol OMGawsh! Amazing how a little pesky mosquitto
can meander a dreamscape like this!! Sometimes my dogs
snoring turns my dreamscape into lions roaring at me lol
wild to say the least...
Slap Happy Dream Weavers
Vickie
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Frankly, Ronald, I don't give a damn. Heheheheheheheheheheh Finally found a place were I could use that line.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin
I have crazy dreams..that I could never dream up...lol :)
Reviewed by Odin Roark
Ah, slapping is good... especially in dreams where regrets are forgotten upon wakening. Mosquitos? Now that's another subject to explore even more thoroughly. Pesky little suckers.
Reviewed by jude forese
and i thought i had weird dreams .... i mean, a mosquito with a beak? ... a humorous dreamscape indeed ...
Reviewed by neerja gandhi
Heeeeheeheee....beautiful :) best wishes
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci
What a dream! I would have slapped that thangggg too!!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Budd Nelson
Ron
very different from what I expect from you and that made it all the better and funny too.
Budd
Reviewed by Axilea MU
Is this really a dream? It's so realistic, until that last stanza. I could have tried to come up with a freudian interpretation, but the original ending just makes me smile! ;)

Axilea
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
I often can't reach mosquitoes, so, if she's around, she swats and doesn't spare the force. I have been known to see one on her, and attempt a swat, too.

Ron
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
Stunning wrap around *Ron*
who would have dreamt it, but You!!!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Now this is originality at its finest and amusing to boot. The last line is a hoot. Patrick
Reviewed by Laura Fall
Very interesting dream indeed and great writing to tell of it Laura
Reviewed by Richard King
Wish I could remember some of my dreams long enough to get them down on paper, but no matter whether fact or fiction, this was a fun read. Dick
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
What a dream! And what a humorous way to tell about it.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Sounds as if u need to move someplace where there are no mosquito's...;-)e
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley
Goodness what a dream! sounds to me like some inner struggles you wish to slap out of your life. After all dreams are only thoughts (not of the one you love in this instance) you have processed through the day that come to you symbolically.

Lets hope you have some lovely dreams to write about next.

Very intriguing Ron :)

Love and Light
Lily
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Poet Up a Tree
  2.  OMG, it's freakin' HOT...
  3.  Halloween is Coming!
  4.  SHRIMPY
  5.  The Thrill is Gone
  6.  Kostro's always pickin' on me...AGAIN
  7.  Procrastination
  8.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  9.  Hello, I'm Mister ED...
  10.  Over internet-ed...

Bingo and Bullets - The Killer Wrinklies by Mark Sutton

The 'killer wrinklies of Crabley-on-Sea' are introduced in this short prequel to the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.