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Ronald W. Hull

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I Slapped Her
by Ronald W. Hull
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Image Courtesy Bollywood

Can you believe I dreamed this and
just had to write it? ;-) Any resemblance
to my or anyone else's life is purely coincidental.



I Slapped Her

I slapped her hard on the left cheek,
before I could explain, she let out a shriek.
Her eyes narrowed to evil slits,
and her face turned a bright pink.

"Oh why did you have to do me this way,
I thought you loved me by what you say.
I thought I loved you, too,
but  with this, I rue the day."

She went to the closet and started packing her stuff,
nothing I could say to her was enough.
Her mind was made up and that was it,
I had no business being that rough.

"I'm calling my friend's lawyer today.
I hear he's good at divorces and takes little pay.
You can expect my summons in the mail,
I'm taking it all, and taking it my way."

She sulked around the house, pissing and moaning,
and then on the line, serial cell phoning.
"That MF that, and this MF this,"
she stormed out the door with a dire warning.

"I want you to know that I'm filing for assault.
Just in case you think it's not your fault.
And I'm taking our joint accounts today,
along with the safe deposit box in the vault."

I stood there stunned, at the slammed door,
rehashing in my mind what had happened before.
When that pesky mosquito landed on my cheek,
and I slapped her ass through her beak.

Copyright 2012 © Ronald W. Hull

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Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader) 9/8/2012
Ron, you must have had wicked, cackling fun writing this.....along with some serious interpersonal relationship experience or knowledge to make the setting for this exceptionally witty story. I like what Jon said "you had me scurrying to the next line" too! ~~ Diana
Reviewed by Richard Dessauer 8/26/2012
Enjoyed this poem, Ron. The ending is a hit (no pun intended). I felt sorry for that mosquito. Thanks for being there. I didn't join Writer's Den to convince anyone I was a great writer, but to have the opportunity to meet people like Ronald hull.

Richard Dessauer
Reviewed by Jon Willey 6/24/2012
Ron, you had me scurrying to the next line and the next expecting to be in the midst of your divorce, until, you slapped me with your anopheles reality - on your cheek, her pesky beak - the punch line
is very creative - I wish you love and peace my friend - Jon Michael

Reviewed by Tom Hyland 6/23/2012
Reviewed by Felix Perry 6/22/2012
Love the tongue in cheek or perhaps mosquito on cheek twist you put on this one...
Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 6/20/2012
Dear me, this is an amusing piece about serious things. Good rhythm. Regarding writing about the past and how you feel. This is what writing poetry is all about. Rainbows
Reviewed by Deborah Tornillo 6/20/2012
Ron: Who wouldn't slap a mosquito? Great Poem!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 6/19/2012
Aren't dreams great? Thank you for sharing your wit and humor, Ron. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Kate Burnside 6/19/2012
Lots of slapping going on here, Ron! I doubt any of us feel pity for the plight of that mosquito - whose fate was undoubtedly assured in the light of what had just been going on. But was the whole of the aforegoing also a personification of the blood-sucking and personal irritation it seems to be the life's work of mossies to bring upon humankind~? Now THAT would be some dream! If I were you I'd take the anti-malarials, just in case.... Hell hath no fury like a mosquito scorned.... xx
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 6/19/2012
Giggle...sounds like a nightmare!!! Thanks for the smiles, Ron!

Reviewed by richard cederberg 6/18/2012
You have a unique sense of humor, Ron. Enjoyed!
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/18/2012
Wow - I didn't even slap her, but my first wife got everything that I had. And watch out for them pesky Skeeters, too.
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 6/17/2012
lol OMGawsh! Amazing how a little pesky mosquitto
can meander a dreamscape like this!! Sometimes my dogs
snoring turns my dreamscape into lions roaring at me lol
wild to say the least...
Slap Happy Dream Weavers
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 6/17/2012
Frankly, Ronald, I don't give a damn. Heheheheheheheheheheh Finally found a place were I could use that line.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 6/17/2012
I have crazy dreams..that I could never dream :)
Reviewed by Odin Roark 6/17/2012
Ah, slapping is good... especially in dreams where regrets are forgotten upon wakening. Mosquitos? Now that's another subject to explore even more thoroughly. Pesky little suckers.
Reviewed by jude forese 6/17/2012
and i thought i had weird dreams .... i mean, a mosquito with a beak? ... a humorous dreamscape indeed ...
Reviewed by neerja gandhi 6/17/2012
Heeeeheeheee....beautiful :) best wishes
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 6/16/2012
What a dream! I would have slapped that thangggg too!!

Love ya!

Reviewed by Budd Nelson 6/16/2012
very different from what I expect from you and that made it all the better and funny too.
Reviewed by Axilea MU 6/16/2012
Is this really a dream? It's so realistic, until that last stanza. I could have tried to come up with a freudian interpretation, but the original ending just makes me smile! ;)

Reviewed by Ronald Hull 6/16/2012
I often can't reach mosquitoes, so, if she's around, she swats and doesn't spare the force. I have been known to see one on her, and attempt a swat, too.

Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 6/16/2012
Stunning wrap around *Ron*
who would have dreamt it, but You!!!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 6/16/2012
Now this is originality at its finest and amusing to boot. The last line is a hoot. Patrick
Reviewed by Laura Fall 6/16/2012
Very interesting dream indeed and great writing to tell of it Laura
Reviewed by Richard King 6/16/2012
Wish I could remember some of my dreams long enough to get them down on paper, but no matter whether fact or fiction, this was a fun read. Dick
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 6/16/2012
What a dream! And what a humorous way to tell about it.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/16/2012
Sounds as if u need to move someplace where there are no mosquito's...;-)e
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley 6/16/2012
Goodness what a dream! sounds to me like some inner struggles you wish to slap out of your life. After all dreams are only thoughts (not of the one you love in this instance) you have processed through the day that come to you symbolically.

Lets hope you have some lovely dreams to write about next.

Very intriguing Ron :)

Love and Light
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