I have one note I see I am going to have to put on my work. I would put this in the bio but not everyone reads the bio.
PLEASE DO NOT REVIEW my work on ANY punctuation. I am absolutely rock solid on this. I appreciate your "love of perfect and complete spelling and grammar" I write free verse. which says on my work, I can and WILL write it with or without. If you absolutely feel you have to downgrade what the words are saying because of a comma, pass me by. Please do not waste my time or yours. I don't know how to say that any nicer. I have dealt with some of the nastiest reviews because of commas. Just commas. You can feel anyway you want about it, don't read me. I would not downgrade you because you wrote a love poem. I Hate love poetry because everyone writes it the same way, moons and stars and butterflies and souls and dreams and heart, lets not forget the two hearts as one. Most of these poems are nicely written, but once you have read forty poems all using the same words it gets to be nuts. My opinion is that love is serious business and it's owed it's due and if you can't take some time to dig a little deeper and really get down to where love lives, then it's a good poem not a great poem. That's just my opinion, I will not write in your review that " the first two lines were good but it lost it's message after the moon and stars were brought in. I would simply say, nice piece or if you happen to be the eightieth one I have read that day, pick another of your poems or simply not review you. Hope you understand and if I end up getting only one review a week because you HAVE TO HAVE that perfected comma, oh well. I also make up my words from time to time, that is in my bio.
This life is all but dissipated Ballooned and blown out long before its time I have fought the discontent and selfish side steps For a million miles, wearily I dread a million more And these eyes have blinded by will.
Shut this down now, for I have no cheek Left to turn. Stop the presses and leave the oil can empty. Turn the wick downside, then atrophy the dream. If I had known I’d inhale this deep and not want to let it go. If I had known that wall could never be chipped.
If I had known it’s all wrapped and dipped in indifference.
You really are a cynic! My wife tells me that I have the same problem. Not sure it is a problem though. I love the poem. Even cynics have a good day. I hope you have one soon. Patrick
WOW I found this deep
I think this is one of those poems that has different meaning
to everyone who reads it, depending on what is happening in their lives
For me, I feel this way on days when I have been beaten down by life
Wonderfully written, I enjoyed it
Have a great day
Ray { The Buzzard }
I have days where I can certainly sympathize with the sentiment here. The first two lines of this are really good; I love the rhythm of the lines. I do think the inconsistent and often incorrect punctuation takes away from the reading experience. The last line is a nice ending for the poem. Good job.
Hi K, Nearly everyone can say, "If I had known"... it's the big IF that we find ourselves living by, only to find that IF never really happens. I sense exhaustion in this write, because I've felt the same way. But I know that it's easy for me to say, If I'd known this or that, I wouldn't have".. but when it comes right down to it, I know that's what I'd like to think I'd do, but coming right down to it, don't know if I would or could change anything. Great write that causes such deep thoughts... thank you for sharing...
Glad you're back. Appreciate your support. Well, a million more to go. We all best get started. I like when life is uphill because downhill usually ends up a bummer. It doesn't sound like you've been having too much fun. Excellent. Liz