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Axilea MU

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Member Since: Nov, 2006

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Private Light
by Axilea MU
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Axilea MU
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           >> View all 270

We need a minute…

at the dawn of a new day

as dark particles disintegrate

and liquid shadows are eaten up

by the grey light of pitiless

time

by the feeling

the growing certainty

that there will soon be nowhere to hide.

 

Inadequate may be the aquatic

near amniotic hope

that there might be some shade left

some irreverent privacy

just somewhere to conceal

an irrelevant secret or two

so that one could choose

what to reveal at the dawn of a new

century of sentiments, with their infinite

comets that forever light up the sky.

 

See,

uncomfortable pixels of ironic light

and we become restless…

 

Wait,

already some broken emotions

like an abortion, lie in agony

under the dictatorship of sharp light!

One wonders if they could be saved

nurtured in the discretion

of benevolent candlelight.

 

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Reviewed by Walt Hardester 3/12/2013
I had a critical career in the hospital on the day shift, I would pause and stop beside the Flint River in the heart of Georgia, to feel the power of the river, and for a few moments reflection on the coming day and my life as well. With coffee in hand I would sit on the hood of my car and maybe say a prayer that I wouldn't make a mistake and kill anyone today. This was always,of course in the dark. In summertime it was dawning, with just a few moments of shadowy moments left to myself.
Enjoyed and related to this poem.



Walt

Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather 6/9/2012
there's something to be said for the softer side of things. ~ Morgan
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 6/8/2012
So many ways to interpret this most poignant piece of poetry. For me Private Light, shines deeply into my soul, penetrating my lightness and sending back to you healing energy and angel light.

Great work, Axilea!

Peace, love and light,
Amber
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 6/7/2012
I love the clear, uncluttered lines which yet articulate such complexities of heart and mind - that, yes, denote the secret. Your BRILLLIANT use of "amniotic" and "emotions like an abortion" render a startling compassion and poignancy to this highly intelligent write. I feel deeply moved for those half-baked ideas or secrets that are forced to face the cruel light of day before they are full-term, completely conceived and ready. Their naked vulnerability lingers. One of your recent bests, Axilea, thank you. xx
Reviewed by John Flanagan 6/7/2012
that privacy is nowadays seen as irreverent -
great choice of adjective here, Axilea -
is an indictment of our time and attitude,
the almost compulsive sticking in of the nose;
yes, there's rescue and solace in candlelight
and the shadows that help us escape and stay ourselves

john
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 6/6/2012
I see this as a triumph! Read each last word of each line reading down, as endings known. First word(s) on each line down the whole poem are more tender, searching, maybe disillusioned. Most lines have 'distress' of goings-on, the last couple verses, ambivalent judgement. Yet, 'fragrantly' hopeful, in the end, with candle-scent/light.

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Reviewed by D. Vegas 6/6/2012
Axilea, To trust someone with secrets, and we all have have them don't we? Finding a place to talk about them without invasion of privacy, that is a problem! Throughly enjoyed as always!

Always,
Deborah
Reviewed by Odin Roark 6/6/2012
For those of us more concerned with what is not said overtly, your poem eloquently states its subtext, suggesting secrets would be less of a necessity were privacy respected rather than invaded and exploited for all kinds of agendas, including spiritual duplicity. Evocative thoughts ruminate between the lines here, allowing thinkers to smile and nod. Well done, Axilea.
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 6/6/2012
I truly adore this poem!
It resonates and is piercingly observant and well written, and I too love the way you use the light, benevolent and sharp.

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 6/6/2012
Some days I don't like to get out of bed either. But that last minute disintegration of darkness sometimes reveals things lurking in shadows that must be reckoned with. For all of its flaws the spotlight's falsehood betrays the dictator and he is ultimately doomed to failure. Patrick
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 6/6/2012
Your wordplay has moved into the realm of light play. Very unique and entertaining.

Ron
Reviewed by Charlie 6/6/2012
So many thoughts and ideas running through my mind while reading this--it turned into a poem, but I wanted to keep that separate and comment on this.

You really get to the core of your readers with this poem. Words like amniotic (nice play with aquatic) and abortion and comets. The poem becomes a secret in itself--wanting to be larger than life, but kept half-submerged with excellent control. Ironic light; sharp light; candlelight; grey light of time; comet light-- all bringing to light the disappointment of having no darkness to hide your darling secrets in.

A fabulous, well-written, enspiring poem. I feel sorry for the secrets, so in my den, I'm turning them into moths. --Charlie
Reviewed by Jon Willey 6/6/2012
the contrasting impressions of "sharp light" and "benevolent candlelight" are refreshing and introduce how the structured civilization we live in can in fact, inhibit, the " private light" of internally generated solitude we all require - this rendering of yours is a call to evaluation for everyone Axilea - a most enjoyable
read my dear friend - I wish you love and peace - Jon Michael
Reviewed by Alan Abrams 6/6/2012
masterful...it raises this question...
what is the nature of this ironic light? is it completely extrinsic--or could it come from within?

Reviewed by Felix Perry 6/6/2012
Nicely done, I think we all have our secrets that we guard and hold dear and you expressed that quite well.
fee
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 6/6/2012
One of the best constructed poem I have read in quite a while, Alexia. The ending packed a wallop.
Reviewed by jude forese 6/5/2012
a private light to be shared by restless souls waiting for the night to nurture their discretion ...

powerful and so well written, Alexia ...




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