In the spring of ‘79 I boldly hung out my shingle,
Nearly broke, with a wife and four kids
It was a brash move at best, even had I been single
For starting a law practice took lots of cash
While I was in law school, I’d sold insurance
And got to know many agents who became friends
When I hung out my shingle many gave me assurance
That they’d start referring me clients, and they did
Inca Oil needed lots of legal work done quickly and cheap
An attorney to check titles to leases all over Texas
One so hungry, he’d work hard and not worry about sleep
So, I took the job and immediately felt enormous relief
It was tedious work, not fun at all, but it would pay the bills
So, I muddled along, day after day, until it was time to get paid
When I handed my bill to the boss, his smile gave me chills
He said, "Hey, why don’t you take your payment in trade?
I really like you, so I’ll let you take a piece the well,
When I asked him how much I’d get if the well came in
And he said five times my bill, I replied, "Oh, what the hell!"
Even though I knew my wife would kill me if the well didn’t pay
Several month later when the well was almost complete
I took I-20 West, this time with my wife and kids,
For a comin-in party with plenty of beer and steaks to eat,
To celebrate, if the well turned out to be a good producer
When we finally arrived someone said, "Just 40 feet to drill!"
Excited, we slipped on our earplugs and joined the throng
Of investors, employees and crew all enjoying the thrill
Of watching the roughnecks expertly plying their trade
We watched them insert pipe after pipe as the drill bit spun
My stomach tightened, then someone yelled "Ten feet to go!"
The crowd moved closer ’til a guard stepped up holding a gun
I looked at my wife then someone yelled, "Five feet to go!"
Then the ground started to rumble causing everyone to run
As Texas crude burst out of the ground shooting fifty feet in the air
Elated at this wondrous sight we were having so much fun
Until we were drenched with oil and our eyes began to burn
When we were clear, my wife took my hand and smiled up at me
Then my daughter, all wide-eyed asked, "Daddy, are we rich?"
I laughed, smiled and replied, "I don’t know, honey, could be."
But could it really be true that our luck had finally changed?
Then, to my shock, the gusher stopped. Had their been a glitch?
Looking anxiously at the rig I wondered what the silence meant
Was something wrong? That couldn’t be all the oil, son of a bitch!
Thereupon my wife turned to me coldly and said, "Honey, you’re dead!"