I feel like
Flying free as I wore my
White cotton Sunday dress
Flying across the fluffy clouds
And the sky in the strongest blue
Permeates light and heat
As I fly in my white cotton Sunday dress.

I feel like
Eating Swiss chocolates
Without the killer guilt
Savor the melted chocolate
In my mouth and I close my eyes
As I taste the sweetness, the warmth, the smooth
Tease of chocolates
In my mouth now down in my throat
And then guilt
As the calories begin to count.

I feel like
Going to your place
Without a warning
Like a thief at night
Trespassing your abode
And I wait in your bedroom
Smell a familiar scent
Your scent on your bed sheets
I held the soft and cold fabric
Rubbed it on the skin of my delicate face
I am now with you
In your bedroom
Together we transport
To a place of delight and delicious agony
Heaven is inside me
Come and enter my kingdom…

I feel like
A virgin waiting for the first time
Body soft and jittery
Trying hard to be wet
Scared yet wanting
A virgin of desserts and after midnight coffee
As I tried to sip that champagne
From the glass of Cinderella’s glass shoes
I love the taste
Bittersweet and bubbly
I love it just the way
I expected
What my first time will be like
Perfect I wished
The virgin no longer a virgin in pain
The pain now slippery like Jell-O
Lovely just lovely
And the virgin is no longer a virgin
But it was the virgin’s first.

I feel like
Writing while I am high
Or write while I’m drunk
When I cannot comprehend
Truth and fiction
Just jot down the words with knives
And write words I just threw up
And hangover I will never get over
And I threw up
And I threw up
And words scattered on the paper
My poetry of puke
My poetry of truth
My poetry of soul.

My life speaks through poetry
Even while I fly
While I eat chocolates
While I become your thief
While I become a virgin again
While I am high
While I am drunk
And while I am throwing up…

This is how I write my life….
Through poetry of illicit actions…