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I felt the sun go down
Christmas Day
Sitting on a bench in full uniform
Earning time and a half

Felt my family toast each other half-heartedly
Put on the life goes on face
Its just as good as it ever was
Cheers

The lies told while the ice melts
will tuck them in tonight
deliver them from feeling feeble

I knew better
But I
Drank it all anyway
drowned in more than beer and booze
inched a step closer to the fistful bottom of the bottle
fiery fuking car wreck that will
either put an end to this scene
or close out the god damn whole show

Cause I cant keep drinking like this
(I cant keep living with this)
But I cant stomach the reality
without drinking like this
just 1 more winter with
the wet blanket of contradiction pulled up high

1 more Christmas spent alone

let me have that

just 1 more time
let me drink it dull
and after im no longer myself
when the face in the mirror is still familiar
but the name is out of reach
forgive me for flipping the switch and putting my life out like the smoked to the filter cigarette I have become