A brilliantly amusing friend of mine once spent the better part of an hour, as we were all seated around a roaring fire at a ski lodge (waiting for the blizzard outside to lessen somewhat in intensity), describing a love affair he was having by using nomenclatorial descriptives and illustrative terminology applicable to engineering a modern highway down a sheer 6000 foot escarpment of solid rock. It was a most engrossing and enviable display of wit and I cannot figure out for the life of me why women weren't literally falling all over themselves to get to know him, given his obvious gifts as a humorous ranconteur of the first water. His witty elocutions notwithstanding, recollecting that sterling performance of his prompted me to pen the following.