Left Brain,
Right Brain,
Lower Brain.
 

It has been fairly well established
 

That the ancient, prehistoric reptile

Had two discrete neural control centers:

One in the cranium and the other

Situated in the lower hind-quarters.

Both were about the size of a pea.

The theory has recently been advanced

That modern man, despite the cursed blessing

Of his reasoning abilities, also has two brains

As well: A rather large and complicated,

Bilateral one, and a smaller but dominant one,

More about which we shall hear shortly.

The former appears to control man’s

Conscious behavior in nearly every aspect

<save one>, while the latter operates on

An autonomous, reactive basis—functionally

Best illustrated in mixed gender situations.

The lower ‘nether-brain’, as it is regarded,

Activates automatically in the presence of a fair

Member of the opposite sex, instantly rendering

All male bodily functions subject to its

Genetically programmed instructions.

I’d like to arrange a limited clinical

Demonstration of this for you, but don’t

Blame me if the experiment gets somewhat

Out of control. After all, the ‘nether-brain’ may

Well be in the genes, but it's in the jeans, as well…