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Kalikiano Kalei

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  More dirty climbing limericks
by Kalikiano Kalei
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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           >> View all 59

Back in the 70s, 'dirty climbing limericks' like these were a regular part of the evening's amusement in Yosemite's notorious 'Camp-4', when certain of us got together in the moon-shadow of the valley walls to kick back around a fire with a jug of Red Mountain wine. These were not normally 'bivy-limericks' since we usually had enough to occupy our attention completely while hanging tenuously on a bolt above several thousand feet of empty space!


Oh! You’re such a TOOL!

There once was a climber named Jack

Who had quite an array on his rack.

In addition to bolts, he had nuts and some ‘Dolts’,

To fill out his climbing rucksack.


Crack of Doom!

My girl’s not a climber, alas,

But she does have this cute little ass.

So although I may fall, I’m not scared at all,

When I plunge into that yawning crevasse.


But I never inhaled!

While climbing once on a steep slope

A friend stopped to blow some good dope.

As he abseiled down, he had quite a frown,

When he rappelled off the end of the rope!

In Memorium:
Rangefinder Rick, USNPS

Here's a toast to Rangefinder Rick,

That nasty Yosemite prick!

May his ‘Smokey’ hat wilt, as he drives at full tilt

To warn us off climbing ‘Big Dick’.


Lookie up there, mommy!

On a difficult wall one hot day

My rope-mate called out for belay,

For he’d drunk himself silly, so out came his willy,

To indulge in a glorious spray…



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Reviewed by Ingeborg von Finsterwalde 7/15/2014
Thank you for making my day. It feels so good to laugh. Very clever wording.

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 3/28/2014
Very clever,amusing and original. Patrick
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 6/10/2011
LOL ...too funny is right ... great job ... Hugss...
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 6/9/2011
I enjoy writing (and reading) limericks and I have posted quite a number here at AD. Thank you for the smiles, Kalikiano. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 6/9/2011
Hahahahaha!!! Toooooo funny! Enjoyed these...

Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/9/2011
I may not know climbing, nor do I know of Yosemite, but these are all damn funny, especially the last one...e
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