Am I mad?
or have I simply joined a world other's cannot see.
A simpleness that has beauty and pain
feelings like mine - not insane
But different.
I am an 'other' mom.
An 'other' to be watched and cared over
An 'other' to to be maintained.
I am no longer asked to think
or contribute
And daily I move further into a shell
that is not completely my own making.
Don't worry staff...
my 'otherness' is growing
and I am shrinking and
soon you will be able to do your job
of just watching
and waiting
and putting notes about me on paper
because the me of who I can be
has quit becoming
become
is unbecoming to comply
without direction or path
I've asked for more drugs
to curl up and sleep and slow down
so that this nothingness is not so hard
And you yell at me
and fight me Mom
How come?
No one else fights me
They let me be
I know I am now an 'other'
Staff says 'will the others go?'
Or let's take the 'others'
Others having less meaning
purpose
being
They do not become
they just are
No one else is mean like you
you say it is because you care
You care about me
and my brain
and who I am
and who I will become
You scream
DON'T GIVE UP
Learn - feel - know
We need you dear daughter
The world needs you
Your experience - your life is
just one of many other voiceless people
That cannot be silent, but need to shout
You push
and push
And get know where
because the nothingness here is expected
at least in my eyes.
You say
There is more than one game
a way to lose
a way to win
Give up - let go of your old self
Embrace a new beginning
Challenge yourself above status quo
A stay of commitment -
how long
Who knows
Limbo
Where is Liberty Ridge
A dangerous challenge to be sure
a mindset between dependence and independence
How will it become
without those of us
who have experiences in the UN
b e c o m i n g.
Coming to less than who we were ever meant to be.
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