She withers
just a wisp of
who she was
The smile folded into solemness
hiding feelings too painful to feel
Feelings festering to the surface
Scabs picked off
Feelings slapped down
Growth pushed back
Mom, I am but pieces
broken
and shattered
and empty
Lifeless.
She laughs
with a laugh that moves even the angels
I really did it this time, didn't I?
Even in a place of safety and maintenance
I cannot succeed
I have fallen for their nothingness.
Of being a less than
no expectations - no reason to contribute
the purpose of living you say Mom
everyone is worthy of giving
a thought - I am not smart
a smile - I am not good
an action - I am no longer able
She walks frail and medicated
Still wanting to speak to the audience
She has been called to give testimony to
And in slow mental processing
fogged with medication she speaks
of being slated for helpless
that became hopeless
That safety brought no comfort -
come forth to shelter
from the storms of life.
And to my child
I whisper I love you
and I picker her up
and swing her tiny body around
And I know in my heart
there is very little left
And together we flee
for miles and hours
and hours and miles
And now she sits in a chair
with wheels - restricted
while she builds
her strength
and courage
to allow the Master's hand
to reform the broken pieces
and rearrange them new
And I "with her" will help her
walk again
and stand tall again
and laugh with the laugh of angels again
and again we will march for the voiceless
and be thankful we have
been given the priviledge to see the unjust
And always a springtime will
bring new growth on old stems
Because we know our water runs deep
and our roots know their source
The source of re-creation for living.