I Wasn’t Through

The wounds of your passing are still fresh,
they seep with the salty tears of grief-
I sat here in the quiet and darkness remembering your
infectious smile; Your joyous laughter-
and I also smiled; For it was you my friend,
that taught me how, even when times were rough

You gifted me so much throughout the years,
Not only friendship, but you showered me with
the love and devotion like I had never been given before.
You’ve been gone less than a day, and I miss you so much.
How can a world this big become so small, so quickly?

Yes, I know I promised not to cry,
but I just wasn’t ready; I wasn’t through yet-
I wasn’t through sharing conversations and emails,
photos of our grandchildren and bragging for hours and
hours on in-
Darn it, I just wasn’t through- I wasn’t through-

…and I never will be

Rest In Peace, My Friend; Sleep Tight

 

© Lisa Hilbers
May 2, 2007

Dear Debbie,

  When I found out you were gone from this world, I instinctively ran outside to see if I could watch you go, but just as I thought, I was too late.
  I stood in the misty rain that had been falling here all day long, and as it gathered on my face, it began to mix with my many tears of grief.  Oh Friend I will miss you so.
  You were just so special.  Besides being my bestest friend ever, in the whole wide world, you were also and foremost a Great Mother, to your children, a wonderful Grandmother to your grandchildren, and a delightful person just to be around.  You had a wonderful sense of humor, and you were loved as much as you loved others. And you will be missed in the same degree.
  I sat here all day flipping through the numerous pages of memories we shared.  Remembering the hundreds of hours we sat in front of  our computers on Yahoo chat, discussing everything imaginable and few things that were only imaginable to us, and us alone.  I remembered how we met, when we met, and all the glorious joy that moment allowed me through the years.
Although I know I told you many many times, I just needed to say it again, even if I do truly know you will never  see this letter. 
  You were always there when my world was darkest and coldest, and you were the one that always brought me back from my deepest states of depression, time after time again.  Dear Friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul. I thank you for being  my Best Friend. 
  I’m so grateful I got to meet you, and set face to face and drink coffee and talk for the hours that we did, and laugh about the fact that your kids loved you enough to want to make sure I wasn’t a crazed (cereal)
serial killer, because we met online.  I loved them for that, because they made sure you were safe.
  Well, Darn it Deb, I guess I’d best close for now, I know you have lots to do with getting acquainted with your new angel friends, and besides my keyboard it soaked with tears so I gotta’ go dry it.

I’ll always love and miss you!
Your Bestest , Bestest Friend,

Lisa