AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Dr. Stanley Crawford, iAmy Sellers, iMike Monahan, iSuzanne Tabor, iJ.S. Bradford, iStacey Chillemi, iLiana Margiva, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ronald W. Hull

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 805 Titles
· 9,687 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Ronald W. Hull, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
The Abduction of Mary Rose
by Joan Hovey

A suspense novel interwoven with threads of romance and paranormal. Imagine discovering everything you believe about yourself to be a lie. And that the truth cou..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
Winter Bugs! Hard cover
by Lisa Loucks Christenson

A documentary on insect life during a Minnesota winter. Winter Bugs! April 24, 2009, Winter Bugs! Exhibit opens at White Wolf Creek Gallery in Stockholm, WI. L..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  A Southern Gentleman...
  2.  Interaction
  3.  The Toilet Seat
  4.  Yupshit
  5.  Halloween is Coming!
  6.  My Ass Is Grass
  7.  Somebody Blinked
  8.  The Smithereens
  9.  A Guitar
  10.  Ah, Shucks
  11.  Updates
  12.  Gary's Ghostly Bar & Grill
  13.  Dillbert Pickle
  14.  A Cool Guy
  15.  What is it with women...?
  16.  Lines
  17.  Nuts
  18.  Valentine's Day
  19.  Dear Santa...
  20.  Pop-Ups





Silent Farts
by Ronald W. Hull

Saturday, June 30, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ronald W. Hull
•  Seasoning
•  A Place
•  Dew Drop Clause
•  Sum of All Seasons
•  Wolf at the Door
           >> View all 695

Been so serious lately, thought I'd lighten up a bit... There... feel better already. ;-)


 

 Silent Farts

You gotta love those silent farts,
drifting through more scenic parts,
and touching so many hearts,
with the pungent ardor of familiarity.

Especially suited for the library,
where silence is obligatory.
Just when one is immersed in a story,
enhancing the read with olfactory.

What better place than in a church,
to let one slow, so as not to lurch.
Reaching so far as the pulpit's perch,
giving the sermon a savory oratory.

When we must go before the judge,
our stomach upside down in a nudge,
we raise our hand and silently pledge,
to clear the courtroom with our story.

When in bed with our loved one,
we pledge to be true and start the fun.
But something untoward happens, hon,
the thing that arises spoils the glory.

Ah, the freedom to fart in the open,
in nature's embrace, wishin' and hopin'.
You jog side-by-side, sometimes lopin',
while the dogs on your tail get horny.

So, if you are ever in my vicinity some day,
and I pass my sweet smell of success your way,
you don't have to hurry, nor to delay,
just pass one on back, end of story.

Copyright 2012 © Ronald W. Hull

6/28/12
More Flatulence
Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 7/26/2012
Sometimes a sermon doesn't need a fart to stink!!!! I've sat thru my share of stinkaroos, when the ambient air was redolent of nothing more offensive than spring flowers.

ChipB
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/6/2012
Passing the flatulent gas is a hobby of mine, especially in a closed enviroment like an elevator, silent & deadly...funny one...e
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 7/5/2012
Ron,

thanks for the laugh, and I'll ignore you when you pass gas.

Mary
Reviewed by jude forese 7/4/2012
what can i smell this is a real gas!
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 7/3/2012
So funny, wonderful banguet of images and originality!
Ever,
Christine
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 7/3/2012
LOL you have captured the silent one's quite well. BTW When in line at the store its not always the person that is next to you that did it.....;-) sometimes ....yup its the cashier :-)))) LOL
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/3/2012
Hahahahahahahaha! As my Mom used to say, "wherever you may be let your wind blow free"....and she sure did!!!! Giggle.....thanks for the laughs, Ron! I have NEVER been offended by farts...to be honest I don't care who does them, the unique sounds are hilarious! Nuff said!..giggle

Anna
Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 7/2/2012
Excellent poem for a stand up comic, Ron. I can imagine the laughs.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 7/2/2012
...like driving in a car with a group..and pew...but hmmmm nobody fesses up..:) funny~
Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader) 7/1/2012
We all should stop and write this way now and then. It does the spirit good. ~~ Diana
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 6/30/2012
....and then there's the one cheek sneak!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Laura Fall 6/30/2012
Giggle) Truly a cute and funny write Laura
Reviewed by Budd Nelson 6/30/2012
Ron,
very humorous indeed and oh so windy.
Budd
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 6/30/2012
Silent running in my nose
always takes me back to
find the culprit *Ron"
for seldom do they fess up!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger 6/30/2012
Like onto my hubby ! Then he grins !!
Funny poetry Ron.

Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley 6/30/2012
LOL, I don't think there is a man on earth who is not fascinated by this bodily function!

You are so funny, cute and very well written.

Thank you for sharing?

Love and Light
Lily
Reviewed by Richard King 6/30/2012
Color me silently speechless.... Dick



Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.