AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Georg Mateos, iIan Irvine (Hobson), iWilliam Pusey, ikaren leung, iDarryl Jenkins, iPamela Ackerson, iLinda LeBlanc, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ronald W. Hull

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 829 Titles
· 10,153 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Ronald W. Hull, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Macabre; A Journey through Australia's Darkest Fears
by Marty Young

Explore Australia's dark literature past, present, and future all in one landmark anthology! From the very earliest colonial ghost stories through to grim tales of modern..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Books by Ronald W. Hull
Silent Farts
by Ronald W. Hull
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by Ronald W. Hull
•  My Gun
•  Relief
•  Heat
•  Whatchamacallit
•  Cut the Cheese
           >> View all 717

Been so serious lately, thought I'd lighten up a bit... There... feel better already. ;-)


 

 Silent Farts

You gotta love those silent farts,
drifting through more scenic parts,
and touching so many hearts,
with the pungent ardor of familiarity.

Especially suited for the library,
where silence is obligatory.
Just when one is immersed in a story,
enhancing the read with olfactory.

What better place than in a church,
to let one slow, so as not to lurch.
Reaching so far as the pulpit's perch,
giving the sermon a savory oratory.

When we must go before the judge,
our stomach upside down in a nudge,
we raise our hand and silently pledge,
to clear the courtroom with our story.

When in bed with our loved one,
we pledge to be true and start the fun.
But something untoward happens, hon,
the thing that arises spoils the glory.

Ah, the freedom to fart in the open,
in nature's embrace, wishin' and hopin'.
You jog side-by-side, sometimes lopin',
while the dogs on your tail get horny.

So, if you are ever in my vicinity some day,
and I pass my sweet smell of success your way,
you don't have to hurry, nor to delay,
just pass one on back, end of story.

Copyright 2012 © Ronald W. Hull

6/28/12
More Flatulence
Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 7/26/2012
Sometimes a sermon doesn't need a fart to stink!!!! I've sat thru my share of stinkaroos, when the ambient air was redolent of nothing more offensive than spring flowers.

ChipB
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/6/2012
Passing the flatulent gas is a hobby of mine, especially in a closed enviroment like an elevator, silent & deadly...funny one...e
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 7/5/2012
Ron,

thanks for the laugh, and I'll ignore you when you pass gas.

Mary
Reviewed by jude forese 7/4/2012
what can i smell this is a real gas!
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 7/3/2012
So funny, wonderful banguet of images and originality!
Ever,
Christine
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 7/3/2012
LOL you have captured the silent one's quite well. BTW When in line at the store its not always the person that is next to you that did it.....;-) sometimes ....yup its the cashier :-)))) LOL
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/3/2012
Hahahahahahahaha! As my Mom used to say, "wherever you may be let your wind blow free"....and she sure did!!!! Giggle.....thanks for the laughs, Ron! I have NEVER been offended by farts...to be honest I don't care who does them, the unique sounds are hilarious! Nuff said!..giggle

Anna
Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 7/2/2012
Excellent poem for a stand up comic, Ron. I can imagine the laughs.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 7/2/2012
...like driving in a car with a group..and pew...but hmmmm nobody fesses up..:) funny~
Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader) 7/1/2012
We all should stop and write this way now and then. It does the spirit good. ~~ Diana
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 6/30/2012
....and then there's the one cheek sneak!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Laura Fall 6/30/2012
Giggle) Truly a cute and funny write Laura
Reviewed by Budd Nelson 6/30/2012
Ron,
very humorous indeed and oh so windy.
Budd
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 6/30/2012
Silent running in my nose
always takes me back to
find the culprit *Ron"
for seldom do they fess up!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger 6/30/2012
Like onto my hubby ! Then he grins !!
Funny poetry Ron.

Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley 6/30/2012
LOL, I don't think there is a man on earth who is not fascinated by this bodily function!

You are so funny, cute and very well written.

Thank you for sharing?

Love and Light
Lily
Reviewed by Richard King 6/30/2012
Color me silently speechless.... Dick
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Atlanta Belle
  2.  Torture chamber...
  3.  A Tale of 2 Crows
  4.  Well, it's a job...
  5.  Five Stages of Rewrite
  6.  The Thrill is Gone
  7.  SHRIMPY
  8.  Losted is my muse...
  9.  Whatchamacallit
  10.  Mushmouth Kostro...

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.