Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Arthur Jackson, iSherri Smith, iBurton Pines, iNicholas Coe, ialex canton-dutari, iJanice Scott, iPamela Taeuffer, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Donna Hale Chandler

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Poetry
· Stories
· 100 Titles
· 538 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Jan, 2010

Donna Hale Chandler, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Embers under my skin
by Albert Russo

Albert Russo's new poetry book..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Books by Donna Hale Chandler
By Donna Hale Chandler
Friday, May 14, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by Donna Hale Chandler
· Brain Surgery for a Headache?
· My Granny
· The Stolen Car
· To Switch or Not To Switch, That is the Question
· The Joy of Buying Your First Home
· Get a Real Job, Scammer
           >> View all 39

A scientist, I am not! Words of wisdom are usually passed on by those who already screwed up. I am certainly no exception.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you removed a can of soda from the refrigerator and dropped in on a tiled kitchen floor?
When burning questions like that pop up, you can find the answer one of two ways.  You can EXPERIMENT ..... dropping your own can of soda on your own kitchen floor.  OR you can RESEARCH your question and ask others who may have already completed this little chore.
I suggest RESEARCH, and I know the perfect person for you to interview first ................... ME.
When a soda can slips from your hand and falls to the tiled kitchen floor, it EXPLODES and sprays sticky Coca Cola from head to toe and ceiling to floor ,,,,,,,,,,,,, into the crack between the refrigerator door and freezer door, under the stove, and even in between the pages of the phone book, if you happen to keep that book anywhere near the kitchen.  The spray is even strong enough to fly into the next room, falling onto all those surfaces and soaking into all those cracks.
The only thing to do is grab a mop, paper towels, spray cleaners, maybe even a bucket of paint and a paint brush for the walls, and go to work.  During this frenzy of cleaning you will probably hear tiny little ant voices in the distance saying something like "COME ON BOYS, FREE DRINKS, FOLLOW ME!"
After the kitchen and surrounding rooms are cleaned, throw yourself, completely dressed with your eye glasses ON, into the shower because you will surely be a sticky mess.  By the time you've showered, the kitchen floor should be dry and you can perform the Cleanliness Test ..... which everyone knows is to walk on your floor with bare feel.  If you don't stick, it's clean.
I've just completed the first portions of this exciting experiment, now it's time for my shower, followed by the Cleanliness Test.  (And there'd better not be any bugs in there looking for refreshments!)
 © copyright Donna Hale Chandler


                               DONNA HALE CHANDLER

                                   Author of:
                               LIFE HAPPENS (My Story)

                                                   Co-Author of:
                                            THE HINTS BOOKS




       Web Site: Please visit me at: POETICALLY CORRECT

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Judith Ann 6/6/2010
Very funny story. I'm starting to see a partern to your life sories. If it going to happen it will happen to you and it will sound hilarious when retold.
Reviewed by Charlie 5/26/2010
Dear Donna,

Thanks for your timely information, as I was just contemplating doing the same experiment on my own. Now I know.

Too bad you couldn't just dunk your whole kitchen in the sink and let it soak overnight in soapy water. I often wish I could do that to my computer's keyboard after my son has spilled a mug full of hot chocolate on it while playing on the computer. ... again ... after way too many warnings and reprimands for doing the same thing before. And of course I only find out about it when I go to type up something vastly important, and get my fingers stuck to the keys, or worse (or better) yet, when I try moving the keyboard, and find the goo hidden neatly, half-dried and smelling slightly of soured milk underneath.

And for the record, I've tried the experiment of leaving potatoes boiling in a pressure cooker so long that the metal tip popped off. This experiment will decorate your kitchen ceiling with salty herbed water, potatoes, skins and all! And in cleaning, you may need an umbrella-- watch out for falling clumps of mashed potatoes!

Your mutual experiment-minded, frenzied housewife,


Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Top 10 Things to Avoid Doing…Now and Forev
3. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
4. A Reluctant Father Christmas
5. She Told Me To Do It
6. Big Bird & the fish pond
7. The DMV Funnies
8. Pride
9. Duped-Net: Undercover Blues
10. A Man and His Dog

This Can't Be Normal by Diana Estill

Observational humor about family relationships, travel, and marriage...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Mauled Maimed Mangled Mutilated Mythology by Jay Dubya

Mauled Maimed Mangled Mutilated Mythology is a collection of 21 famous myths that have been given adult spins and presentations...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.