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John H Payne

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Member Since: Oct, 2011

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     Recent stories by John H Payne
· The Gathering - 11/30/2011
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Victoria's Secret
By John H Payne
Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Rated "PG" by the Author.

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This is a 250 word story written from a prompt that said: you purchased a dog, only to find out it can talk, and likes to tattle on the children.

 

Victoria’s Secret
I beg your pardon!” Victoria said.
Startled, Andy spun around but didn’t see anyone but Victoria, his fluffy, white Bijon and a Cairn terrier that he did not recognize.
“Well, good morning, handsome”, Andy said to the Cairn. “Where did you come from?” The cairn just smiled, and wagged his tail the way that dogs do. “I actually thought I heard a voice,” Andy thought. “Maybe I should get more sleep, these sunrise walks are causing me to hallucinate.”
Stop that!” Victoria chided again.
“Holy crap, I was right! You did talk!” He said. “When did you start doing that?”
Holy crap!” Victoria exclaimed, imitating Andy in a mocking tone. “When did you start doing that?
“I can’t believe it,” Andy said. “I must be cracking up”.
Hey! This is the last time I’m telling you!” Victoria said to the Cairn.
“What is your problem today,” Andy asked Victoria, now accepting the fact that Victoria could understand and respond.
My problem is that Mr. Curious here keeps sniffing my butt; a little rude, wouldn’t you say?”
Oh. I didn’t see that. Besides, isn’t that what dog’s do? asked Andy.
“Some rude dogs do,” said Victoria, Just like some teenaged boys named Andy Jr. like to dress in their mommy’s clothes when no one is home.”
 “What!” Andy yelled? “Who told you that? I don’t believe you!”
“Oh, really, has Martha been complaining that her bras keep disappearing?” asked Victoria.
“Oh lord, say it isn’t so,” said Andy.

 

 

 

 

 


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Reviewed by J Howard 11/18/2011
that got a laugh out of me...where do you come up with this stuff? i love dogs...but think i will pass on Victoria... and any others like her! talking dog-eeks!
Reviewed by Morgan McFinn 11/8/2011

If you like amusing talking pet stories check out 'Tobermory'(sp?)by Saki. It's a classic.
Reviewed by William Wright 11/5/2011
Nice idea and you get right into it. I was a little confused about who Duffy was. Since you don't refer to him by name after that, I'd just leave the name out. Cute story.
Reviewed by Donna Chandler 10/31/2011
What a cute story! I can easily see this as a side-splitting funny movie!

Donna

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