Comfort was her name. She came from a family of four children; two girls and two boys. Comfort was the eldest. Their parents loved all the children equally and made them feel as such. The children also loved each other dearly.
You see, Comfort came from what one considers a “good family.” She never saw her father abuse her mother, nor did she ever see her mother disrespect her father. You can say that Comfort mainly had good role models in her life. She went to good schools and had all the family support that one can wish for.
As she grew older, Comfort’s desire, like with most young girls, was to meet a good man some day and get married, preferably in her twenties. Well, some would say that with the kind of family background that Comfort had she had no reason to worry about her dream not being fulfilled.
At the age of thirty-nine, Comfort was still a single woman waiting for Mister Right to come knocking at her door. All her friends and family tried to figure out what in the world was happening to Comfort that stopped her from meeting the right guy.
When asked, her answer was always: “All these men out there seem to have something wrong with them. I just can’t find the right guy.”
What Comfort really meant was that she was the one who always found something wrong with “all these men out there;” Not the other way around. The problem was that to Comfort, the men whom she met were either too short, too tall, too skinny, too heavy, too silly, too serious, did not have the right hair color, or the right hair texture, or the right head shape, or the right toe nails, and on and on the list continued.
Now you understand why Comfort had a difficult time coming up with the “perfect” man. See, the man that would be right for Comfort would have to come straight down from heaven on a platinum tray with Comfort’s name written on his forehead. Better yet, he would have to come in a nicely covered gift box, with instructions on how Comfort could change whatever she wanted to change in him as per her preferences.
Let’s remain realistic here. That was not going to happen. I am not sure that Comfort believed that, but it wasn’t going to happen; At least not in her lifetime. At one point, Comfort even stopped bringing any new man home. She grew tired of her house becoming a revolving door for “John’”s exit and “Johny’”s entrance.
At one point, Comfort admitted that maybe marriage wasn’t meant for her and she’ll be satisfied with just nurturing her nieces and nephews and any other lovely children who appreciated a mother figure.
See, what Comfort never revealed to others was that at one time in her past, many moons ago, she was badly hurt by Phil, the one man that she ever loved. They dated for four years until he had to go away to continue his education. They were apart for two years, visiting each other occasionally. During that separation, he ended up marrying another woman.
Comfort kept that secret in a deep, dark, corner of her heart. She made it her tunnel. Because she was stuck in the middle of that tunnel, she saw no way out. She didn’t realize that she could just go straight ahead and come right out.
The reality was that deep inside Comfort was afraid. She was afraid of what may be at the end of that tunnel. All she knew was Phil. She was afraid that the man at the end of the tunnel would be nothing like him. She made it her best to fulfill that prophecy by setting unrealistic expectations for those these Johns and Johnys.
Well, you will be glad to know that Comfort got married last year. The man that she met swept her off her feet. Not just because he was a “great guy,” but because somewhere along the way, Comfort learned that the tunnel is not such a great place with its never ending darkness. She decided to take a step of faith and conquer her fears because at one point she got sick and tired of being sick and tired of standing in a dark hole pretending to be content when she really wasn’t.
Comfort took a few steps, and then several steps, until she finally walked out of the tunnel. Each step that she took was a step further from her past and closer to a new start. As Comfort learned to let go, she was able to move out of her comfort zone and exit safely through the tunnel.
Copyright ©2004 Carmel S. Victor