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The Graveyard
By Jean Pike
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
This one was written by my son, Noah, as an English assignment. I thought it was pretty darn good. I hope you will, too!
The Graveyard
By: Noah
Under the trees in the dead of night lie the shells of humans whose souls have departed. The darkness falls over the graveyard like a blanket covering the tombstones. The clouds overhead block out the light of the moon and stars, so that all that can be seen are the headstones and the memories of the dead.
In the farthest, darkest corner of this graveyard an old man perches atop a tombstone, his eyes wandering, searching for someone to tell his story to. In life he was a soldier, honor-bound to fight for God and country. But for years he has been haunted by the memory of the blood that he shed. He needs desperately to explain, to justify the taking of the lives of countless German troops.
Terror grips me as I approach this phantom, as if summoned by a dream. My eyes are drawn to the name etched into the tombstone. It is my own. This phantom waits for me. He is my grandfather, and his eyes shall wander no more ...
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| Reviewed by Connie Faust |
11/15/2009 |
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Noah said so much in this short piece! I think it's excellent. He sets the scene well, so that you can almost feel the fog over the tombstones. Grandfather and grandson seem to have an appointment that each of them is aware of, the grandson, drawn by those searching eyes, responding to the need to help his grandfather rest in peace. It ended too soon--would like to have read more!
Connie |
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| Reviewed by Jerry Engler |
11/10/2009 |
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| Good to see you post a story, Jean, and welcome, Noah, with this wonderfully described eery piece with both mystique and moral. You have a good feel for drawing your reader in. I like the tie between what you are and what your ancestor was. I think many times that we are more closely tied to them than we know. Keep on writing--it may be you are genetically gifted and have much in common with an ancestor you live with..........Jerry |
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| Reviewed by Cleve Sylcox |
11/3/2009 |
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| It is an incredibly strong word illustration that paints the graveyard on the inner eye in stunning detail; the old man standing on the tombstone with the narrator inching ever closer places the reader on the edge of their seat. Loved this
Hope he continues to write and explore his talents. |
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| Reviewed by L Hippler |
11/3/2009 |
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Jean and Noah,
Short but VERY tight and tense. Nice twist at the end. |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
11/3/2009 |
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Jean and Noah~
Awesome write; very well penned! Brava! Bravo!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D |
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| Reviewed by Regino Gonzales, Jr. |
11/3/2009 |
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Jean and Noah,
Indeed a damn good story. Thanks for sharing it at AD.
Sincerely,
Regino
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