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The Lullabye Tree
By jinndal m Davis
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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A place of peace, where people come that are tired and weary. People that have no hope, the tree accepts them and gives them rest.
It's a big tree, growing in the middle of the yard. The branches pointed up towards the sun, the roots ran long and wide, creating seats under the spreading canopy.
I played here as a child. The wooden swing long gone now, actually burned away in a fire. In the summer, we laid our checkered cloth, put out the basket, made sure to cover anything edible, cause the flying bugs were always on the lookout for food, as were the ants. No matter the heat of summer, it was always 20` cooler in the shade.
This is where I was married, we hung lanterns from the branches for the reception that night. Our initials still scratched in the trunk, if I had known then as I do now, they wouldn't be there. The children played here too, I made sure they enjoyed the same things that I had, swings, cool summer shade, picnics.
Lately, it had been my sanctuary.. I stared at the letters, J+M .. crudely scratched inside of a heart. I leaned my head back against the trunk.. Maybe I had been neglectful, no... no.. I wasn't going to give him excuses, I wasn't going to condone his fling with an eighteen year old.. and I wasn't going to forgive, my life given to him, devoted to him and my children.. I had been sturdy, strong, stood up to whatever hardship had come along, backed him in all his schemes and encouraged him, even when I knew they were going to fail.
I let the tears slide down my cheeks, the branches above began to sway slowly, back and forth, the leaves moved in the slight breeze.. I was tired, so many thoughts, so many years, I just wanted to shut my eyes.. I heard the song..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
I did.. I closed my eyes and went to sleep..
"I know, it may not be the right thing to say but, this is the most peaceful she's looked in a long time, I think maybe, we shouldn't be sad, maybe she is in a better place, at least her heart isn't broken now,,,, you were a good mother, you were a good wife, sleep mom, we love you."
The Lullabye Tree
And this was where she let go. This is the place where she gave up her spirit. He walked around the tree. He'd never noticed how really large it was.
In fact, he hadn't really noticed anything about her, their life, all the times she backed him and, never complained.
He sat on the large root, staring out into space. She'd never asked for much. How many birthdays had he missed? How many anniversaries had he begged off, how many excuses?
As if the way he had treated her, taken her for granted wasn't enough, all the women.. last but not least, the child.. She'd been eighteen still, he was old enough to be her father.. not true , more like grandfather.
Tears ran unabated, he felt as if his heart were going to burst.. He couldn't apologize, he couldn't put his arms around her and tell her, he truly had loved her, but.... maybe... He stood, wrapped his arms around the big tree, he cried, wailed, screamed... begged..
The tree vibrated, it's branches moved ever so slightly, a leaf touched his face and, he heard the song...
Hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"No good dog.. this was too good for him, too peaceful, he should have been drawn and quartered..burn in hell!"
The Lullabye Tree
His hands shook.. he took in deep breaths trying to steady himself, trying to steady his whole life.
It was beautiful under the old tree. He imagined this his secret place, his sanctuary, they didn't know how often he sat here and just wished and, .... just cried..
It had been his childhood wish to be a man.. well wasn't that the wish of all young boys? He'd wished to be free of moms' rules and regulations, he'd wished to be free of a father that took his mother for granted. But even when he had become a man, he was not satisfied.
It just didn't seem to be fair, they took for granted that he was strong, that he knew what to do.. Did it have to be that way, why did the oldest have to be strong? He walked around each day in a fog, life moving around him like a carousel, nothing different, the same thing, round and around..
He placed the little box on the ground next to the large root. Laughing, he rolled up his sleeve.. Oh if they could see him now.
All of his paraphenalia laid out, this was his escape, the little bag, the spoon, the hypodermic... He tightened the belt around his arm..
The tree hummed, leaves rustled, he felt the liquid burn through his veins, the magical mood assaulted his brain.. he leaned back against the tree.. the branches swayed to and fro... And he heard the song..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"Oh God!.. I suspected, I knew something was wrong.. I put it off, vowing to talk to him later, each time I saw him, I said to myself.. I am going to talk to him, but, it was always... later.."
The Lullabye Tree
It had been a bad week, the fights with him, the boss and, to top it off, waiting for the pink slip.
Where did it all go wrong? This hadn't been her dream, an alcoholic husband, the beatings, two rotten kids that laughed when their father berated and beat her. Her mother and father had loved her, had only wanted the best for her and, she had only wanted him. She had been warned. Still, she allowed him to lure her away from a loving, secure home. She had been enthralled by all the promises. She had been captured by his skill at love making, then she had been trapped by pregnancy and his abuse.
Her mother and father had cried, they had begged.. Now they were gone. She was glad about that, what would they think of her, what would they think of the horrid little monsters she'd brought into the world.. she sighed, she was tired..
She walked along, not sure where she was going.. There it was, a huge tree. It was weather and time worn. The canopy shot out from around it like an umberella. Large branches raised their leaves up into the sky, beckoning the sun to shine down on them.
She walked towards it, the closer she came the lighter her spirits became.. Under the canopy of the tree felt safe, secure, she thought about her parents.. She settled down against the tree.. The branches swayed, the leaves rustled lightly. She heard the song..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"Poor thing, does anyone know who she is..? no.. Well, she's at peace, she's smiling."
The Lullabye Tree
Her mother had been gone five years now, her brother three. Her father had died not six months after her mother. She could not find it in her heart to forgive him.
There were three left and it was like living on a powder keg. They didn't know how to talk to each other, they just didn't know what to say.
There were always tears, always questions and, they couldn't get past it, as if their mothers' death had paved the way to eternal sorrow. Perhaps this was their punishment, perhaps this was a lesson for selfish narrow mindedness. For all the times they could have, but, they didn't.
She had her own demons, she could have done more. All the times her mother had called. Mother had always sounded sad, it brought her down and even as she remembered all the comfort her mother had given her, she had shied away from talking or even visiting her.. now she was gone.. now, it was her turn to be alone.
The old tree called out to her, this had been mothers' safe haven when she had been sad.. The area had changed somewhat but, there it was, the old majestic tree.
The cough racked her thin frame, she sat on the root under the canopy, it felt so good here. She wished her mother would have been there when she'd visited the Oncologist.. His words still traveled the electrical circuit of her brain.. "It's lung cancer, advanced...." She had stared up at him, he continued. "You may have, six months... I'm sorry."
It had been six months plus, she'd made it past that mark but, was it worth it? Chemo had taken all of her hair, all of her appetite, if a stiff wind blew it would probably blow her away. She spent days hugging her porcelain friend.
The coat she wore wrapped around her small frame like a blanket. It wasn't that it was cold, no, she was cold, always cold. She coughed again. Holding her chest as the pain doubled her over..
Her breathing shallow, she prayed, she prayed like the man Job.. She threw her arms around the trunk of the tree.
The tree began to move, the branches swayed, the leaves shook slightly, and she heard it..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
The pain was gone, she was warm, she expelled the frothy red breath.. and closed her eyes..
"This is the daughter of the woman that died a few years ago, wow, who would imagine she would die here like her mother.."
"Not only her mother but, her father and her brother, poor thing, she was so thin, she looks peaceful doesn't she?"
The Lullabye Tree
The dregs of life, the lowly, the downtrodden, the absolutely insignificant, that's what he dealt with each and every day.
It made no sense, there was no rhyme or reason to it. He had always been able to take it in stride, it never affected him, it didn't touch him. He clucked and clicked his lips in sympathy when all he really wanted was to be left alone, to be safe in his own world.
But this time, it did touch him, this time when he clucked and clicked his lips it was with true sympathy, sympathy for himself.
His work on this case had been extensive, when they caught the madman and, that is exactly what he was, a psychopathic, antisocial, homicidal maniac, in the true st sense.
He remembered how he had felt so superior, how he had made his diagnosis, how he had told the man in no uncertain terms he was not ill, he was purely evil.
He never did get the full understanding of how he had escaped, never got the gist of how he knew where he lived. It still didn't register, it probably never would, what horror his family must have gone thru or how long they went thru it.
He stopped to catch his breath, his vision was blurred, the pills he'd taken were starting to work and already he could feel the sedative affect taking over.
The tree was large enough to see through his haze and it was close enough to catch him as he sunk to the earth. He leaned his back against the tree, a moment of nausea shook him and just as quickly passed.
The tree swayed, the leaves shook, he thought he heard his wife call his name.. he did hear the song..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"Everyone knew who he was, his face had been plastered all over the news.. sad but, his death was much more peaceful than his familys' had been.."
The Lullabye Tree
Six figures. That's what he had been making since he was 40, now at 58 he had been pushed out the door.
Taking stock of all things, there was no way, no way he could pay all his debts. He'd kept her in the dark, there was no reason to worry her and the girls. He watched them screaming with delight as they jumped into the pool.
She had friends over, she bustled around, quite the hostess, everyone loved her luncheons and, her dinners even more.
These were the things he loved even more than money. He had tried to convince himself something would come along but, it had been six months now. He had managed to pay their bills out of the severance package, it was quite hefty as it should have been after all of these years,
But, now, there was nothing left, no one wanted a washed up old man, past his prime.. he couldn't even get a job at Micky Ds. It made him smile, how many times had he been rude, to the people that worked the drive-thru. How many times had he put down one of the workers cause they were ... too old, he felt, to work there? And look at him now, all his MBAs.. all his years at the top, they didn't even want him at the drive-thru window.
He kissed her cheek, telling her he needed to go to the office and get some papers. Actually the papers that would matter most, were upstairs in the drawer by the bed..
Walking close to the park, he popped the pills into this mouth.
He walked a little farther.. there was a tree, a huge, beautiful, majestic tree. It seemed so out of place there, yet it's canopy invited him, the large root offered a seat to him. A ragged heart with the initials J+M still present, made him wonder, what had happened to them.
He sat there, his mind dancing with images from so many years past, he felt the first double beat, it took his breath away, numbness climbed up his arm, to his lips and he knew they were turning blue.. he prayed for his family, he prayed for forgiveness..
The tree hummed, the leaves shivered, the branches swayed and, he heard the song..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"There he was, a statistic, another one fallen by the wayside, a sign of the times."
"She found out about everything after he was gone. They ruled it a heart attack, it was expected since he had a heart condition. She gathered up the papers, even through her haze she thought about their love for each other, of his love for them. She thought about his most unselfish act and though it left them taken care of, she would have preferred to be poor with him. Hadn't he known that?
The Lullabye Tree
The papers had been drawn and signed. The men had their orders. The bulldozer and chain saws were at the ready.
"It's a beautiful tree, I don't understand, no rot, still green and strong."
"Well, they call it {The Lullabye Tree}.. I think about five or six people have died, right here, right under those branches, they say before they die, the tree sings to them.."
"Sings to them?"
"That's what they say.. they say it sings the 'lullabye song'."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.. oh well, guess we better get started.."
The two men revved up the chain saws, there was a myriad of branches to bring down before they could even attempt to cut into the trunk.
The tree vibrated.. The branches swayed.. the leaves shook.. The men looked at each other. There was a song, each one looked to the other for confirmation, there was a song, they both heard it..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
Chainsaws were discarded, the two men just stood and stared, the moment solemn, peaceful and, they could not do it, they could not touch the regal tree, they could not bring themselves to do harm to the tree.. She was a guardian, she was the catalyst, she welcomed them, she took them across, she took away the pain, the fear, the anger, she laid them to rest.
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"Twelve simple words, sweet in their own right, a simple thing.. a lullabye."
The Lullabye Tree
So much research, so many deaths. it was decided, the tree had to go. It was decided no one should hear that song again.
It was also decided to send a team, between the eight or nine men, it was felt the job would be done.
The tree stood majestic and beautiful, it swayed and vibrated, it's leaves shook but, not one of them heard the song..
With a soft hiss, the tree gave up it's spiritual life. It had done the work it was to do. There had been a couple that had heard the song..
They would never forget it..
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
"One of the workers hummed a song as they brought the tree down, another listened, and asked what it was.. It was the Lullabye Song, in full."
hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
when you wake
you'll have cake
and all the pretty little horses
"That was the end of the Lullabye Tree, in it's place a plaque dedicated to the ones that had passed away."
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