I guess you have heard about my bi polar.  I was diagnosed with it in 2006 after a particularly bad spell of depression that didn't go away.  It got to the point to where I didn't care if I lived or died.  I didn't care for anything but myself and/or how  I was feeling.

I would spend days in bed, while my husband took care of our children and it started affecting our marriage.  I didn't want to take my medication because I didn't like how they made me feel and I was adamant about going to counseling: I was in denial; I refused to admit I had a problem.

It was really bad.

I eventually ended up being admitted to a mental hospital, where I underwent extensive treatment and got some newer, more powerful medications to help keep my moods on an even keel.

It's made a world of difference.  

For the past two years, I have functioned like a normal human being: taking care of my husband and children, doing the housework every day, working, and now taking care of our brand new baby boy, Langdon Emmanuel, who was born two months ago.  We now have three children.  In addition to little Langdon, we have our seven-year-old son, P.J., and our 12-year-old daughter, Felicia.

When I am not at home taking care of the kids, I work for Hallmark, going to different stores and stocking their stationary/card departments.  I love my job and I love my family more.

I feel bad for putting my husband and two older children through hell when my bi polar was unstable, but that's now in the past.  It's time to move forward to my life and seize every opportunaty that happens to come my way.

Ryan has been a dear throughout my ordeal, and I am glad he gave me some tough love when I needed it.  If it hadn't been for Ryan, I might have ended up on skid row as a homeless woman, or worse, committing suicide.

God also gave me a second chance; I guess He was pleased with how I turned my life around, so He blessed me with a new child, a darling baby boy whom I love with all my heart.  I am happy to say that Langdon was born healthy with all body parts intact.  :)  (Thank You, God!!)

Besides working and being a homemaker, I sing every Sunday and Wednesday in the choir at my church (first soprano).  This past Saturday and Sunday (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day), I sang a solo: I sang "O, Holy Night".   After church on Sunday, we had our Christmas; what a joyous, festive occasion!!  The older kids squealed as they tore into their presents while Ryan and I enjoyed some "cuddle-time" and thanked God for the many blessings He's given us.  I also gave extra attention to Langdon, who stared wide eyed at the lights and decorations on the Christmas tree.

The kids are still enjoying their new gifts and Langdon is still entranced by the lights.  It is so cute to watch him; he is so fascinated with the tree!!  He could stare at the tree (and lights) for hours!

I already got my Christmas gift: Langdon Emmanuel.  That's all I need!

Well, I'm going to fix breakfast before the kids get up for the day; this is the latest they've slept since Christmas vacation first began last Friday.  (Felicia and P.J. return back to school on January 4, 2012.)  I will write in here again soon; hope you could make sense of my ramblings.  Doing this was a major task: I am not much of a writer; Ryan is the writer of this family!

Take care and may God bless you always!

~Karen Lance, December 27, 2011.  :)