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Mitzi Kay Jackson

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Gorgeous Monster (finale)
By Mitzi Kay Jackson
Monday, February 19, 2007

Rated "R" by the Author.

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Recent stories by Mitzi Kay Jackson
· Shadows in Time
· Bone
· revised Wings
· The Bricks
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· The Park Bench (a play)
· The Tye-Off
           >> View all 27

know you know love is violence too.....

I was wondering when you were going to come and see me and Chris, he is not here right now you know school but he is going to be so happy to know you are out. Rohn smelt her skin fresh like he remembered that night he had carried her to Diamonds car, the night that started that downward spiral that landed him in jail.  Man Girly I missed you, he said putting her down, it took everything he had inside of him to not sprout out. He looked at her looking as good as the first time he had saw her. But there was sumthin else hiding in her face. The two of them stood staring at each other for a moment neither one of them talking but letting their eyes speak it all. Both had held so much inside of them for so long that there words were spilling out.

        Diamond where that nigga at? We not like that anymore, I couldn’t take, I can’t take the craziness you know her eyes dropped as she said it remembering too. Damn boy you a legend out here now you really look it. Girly said admiring his body. She like to have melted felling the massive nature of his force, tight arms and legs, tight stomach and chest. “Boy”, Rohn said with a smile, displaying some beautiful white teeth. In the happy reunion he noticed her seemingly nervous. In-between fill-in she would look out of the window. In between her glances Rohns was doing glancing himself, he spotted a tool case under the kitchen table and a mans jacket hanging on the door knob in the hall leading to go into her living room area.


He wanted more to happen, he had imagined more happening, “hay baby I got to go, he grab her by her wrist and pull her to him, let her get another feel  of his manliness, his strength and he wanted to smell her skin to bend down and hug her face his lips hit her lips they both stood there shocked a little and he could feel her about to move away and he pulled her in closer, she was pressed so hard against his body she felt every one of his muscles. And for a moment their souls touched. Just as he let her go, the front door  opened. In walk Terry her current meal deal, hay um Terry this is Youngblood, the one Chris talks about all the time, Youngblood this is Terry. Hay  what up man”, Youngblood lean in to shake his hand, Terry grabs it but putting a little extra in it. Yeah, yeah I’ve heard about you, I just didn’t know you were coming by today Terry says looking at Girly. Oh well know one did, I would have called but, It’s ok Youngblood you like my family, Girly said giving Terry a mean stare “it’s cool”. “Oh so I guess it is cool then”….Terry says walking away to put his things down. “Well I was getting ready to leave out I got to make my rounds”, “all man Chris haven’t gotten in yet don’t let me stop you from visiting”. Terry says after he dropped his thing near the hall door, walking back in pulling up his sleeve, showing his jailhouse tats, “I know how it is man”. Still having to look up at Rohn to get eye contact. “Naw guy it ain’t like that, Chris is like my son”, hating he let that truth slid from his mouth, he started back talking “he like my younger brother ain’t shit goon stop me from seeing him, spending time wit him man, and Girly knows this”.


Well which is it man your son or your brother?” “Both, tell em I came by”  and he grab Girlies hand and kiss it. “Later ”. Rohn walked out and headed down the street hoping that Reed still kept-up the house. From his letters the only thing that changed was that he moved his girlfriend in and there little boy, but Rohn’s spot there was still his spot, he knew he had a place there. Rohn got a couple blocks up, and thanked God he didn't come out in the winter but right before summer weather broke out. It was a slight chill in the air. He heard a car riding up on him, he turned and saw that it was his older sister Remy, Rohn! Oh my God how long you been out, Lying he said “a couple of days”  “Where you heading?” “Home” “Get In”. She tells him about her husband and her two girls and what's been going on in the family in that short ride around the corner she give him some money and her information kisses him and right before he gets out to go in the house she tells him about a cabaret that she saw his lady friend Girly and Terry at and how when it was time to leave how he had her pinned all up against his car hitting on her and how know one saw her for a couple of days. “I don’t know how close the two of you were or are but her son isn’t the same and she isn’t either, and Rohn every time someone else have a different story to tell about him putting his hands on her” Remy told him all this without looking at him. She felt bad for delivering that kind of news but she wanted to be the first to tell him. She didn’t want him to find out and then ask her cause she knows everybody business and knowing she knew and didn’t say anything. But Rohn also knew she got stories mixed up, made-up and twist around,


“thanks Remy, I got to get out of here later ok”. He kissed her again on her forehead and got out of the car.

           Rohn couldn’t wait to see Reed his girl and there child. He knew shit wasn’t right he could feel it. He was happy to be home but his brain was about to explode inside of his head he would hate to be in right back for murder, he could feel the tense-ness building in his body thinking of that mutherfucker over there doing what he was doing and nobody taking care of him. With all the happiness inside of him to be home it meant nothing if his boy and Girly couldn’t play a part. Seeing the look in Rohns eye Reed already knew what the score was and what Rohn wanted him to do, fill him in on Girly, Chris, Diamond and the fuck was this Terry guy and why hadn’t he been taken care of?

                        When he heard that Chris was planning to kill the guy living with his mother he knew some shit was going on, he knew she wasn’t as fiery as she had been, he knew that something was wrong,  he damn near broke the door down getting out of the house trying to get back to Girly’s house, but it was too late when he reached the corner out of breath he saw the police cars and ambulance, he broke thought the crowd of people and police calling out Girly and Chris name. He saw a man in cuffs that was being lead away from the house with his head down and a fury erupted in him, he grab the man and looked right into Chris eye, although he could tell some innocence had been lost. Chris was happy and shocked to see him, “Girly, where’s yo momma?” “I stopped him man just like you would of did, if you had been here, I stopped him,” Trying to hide the hurt and pain in his own eyes, “You the man boy you goon be alright, you hear me?”


Chris shakes his head up and down. “I got to see yo moms man,” in a pleading voice needing to know she was ok that the pain he was feeling in his head and heart was wrong.  His mother is over there one of the officers said while leading Chris away pointing at the EMS. Rohns walks over to the truck and she is laying on the gurney unconscious. Face swollen, lips and eyes," sir we have to get her in are you family, yes yes are you coming? He looks back at the police car that was taking Chris away then he jumps into the EM.S. truck, when he got to the hospital he called Reed and told him the score. Reed got on the horn and called Diamond and a couple few others. One thing was for sure Chris wasn’t playing Terry was gone Chris had busted his head wide open with a meat cleaver. Blood had cover ed the ceiling and floor and walls. Diamond had to keep things on the down low his wife somehow found out about Girly and she threaten to leave so he hadn’t been around, then she took up with this guy and his ego was hurt.

         One thing was for sure Youngblood thought, he was going to be here for her this time, after everybody had failed her, he wasn’t. He was going to be the one easing her  mind he knew what Chris was going through and he had to step out and speak to someone about him, himself he was home right where he was needed. His baby bird…..Girly could hardly look at him when she woke three days later, she couldn’t talk all she could do was cry and it hurt for her to do that. But it did make her heart so happy to see his huge body in a chair at her side. She never had been the one to regret things, but she hated she didn’t tell him when he laid eyes on her, when she held everything together with one rubber band, till now.


After a week she was able to talk and see but her face was still bruised pretty badly, he thought of all the families he had sent up that way and even the ones that hadn’t a chance. All he wanted to do was hold her, that was all he had ever wanted to do was hold her. I am here for you both. I am so angry with you why you didn’t tell me? Why you let Chris? Rohn saw her eyes well up again and he just gently laid his face onto hers and after a minute you couldn’t tell who tears were whose. I love you Girly, you should have told me girl. Rohns went back to Girlies house and started to clean reminding him of his hate for the smell of blood especially that of the blood of rats, which was the only people he had sliced and diced himself. He got the house ready for the return of Chris who was going to help him get the rest of the things done for his mothers return home. Chris was just in the tenth grade and still had things to do his grades slipped and he was held back, but Rohn had plans for his knew family. Chris wouldn’t have to go through anymore of this ghetto shit that his mother hated so much and his baby bird was going to get nursed back to health and she was going to fly away. Girly and her mother didn’t get along and he never knew the reasons why, she didn’t share that with him yet ,but he was waiting to hear all about it. Girly had Chris when she was sixteen, and now here son was sixteen and just escaping from going to prison for life. When he got back up to the hospital Girly mother was there and she introduced herself to him. “So finally I met the man who wasn’t man enough to meet me when he got my baby pregnant, who wasn’t man enough to stay out of jail and raise his own son, and who wasn’t man enough to protect neither of them from this” Rohns mouth tightened and she almost took him back to twelve standing in front of his mother with anger and hate in her eyes.

        “Yeah, well this is me and I am here now and not going anywhere” Giving her back the same intensitified look, then as if a light was switched in her head “what good is that going to do for her or Chris now?” “Everything lady, everything” then he step around her and walked into Girly’s room. Looking just like her name a little girl a twenty-six year old little girl. He kissed her lips stained with purple and her eyes opened still glassy with tears, “I saw my baby today”, “I know” She looked at him questioning, “girl don’t you know I know everything” Girly smiled pain still in her face. Which made him very angry, he had to drop his eyes to fix her blanket. “Please don’t be angry with me, please not right now” hearing her pleading with him made the vein in his neck almost pop out on to the floor, “I want you home now what’s going on? Why aren’t they letting you come home?” “Kiss me, now” “I want you to make love to me, I want you to make love to me now” “Girly, what is up?” “Please Rohn walked and closed the hospital room door and as gently as he could, he entered inside of her, feeling all the emotions that had been bottled up from first sight, from her playing, to her shaking like a leaf, the smell of her skin, to her nervousness, to now her slight moans and her glowing from delight. He slide from under her and went into the bathroom cut on the water and cried, he cried like a child for ten minutes then sobbed lightly for five more minutes. He loved her, he had loved her for looking at him and loving him and not the monster he was bored into. When he came back out he knew what he was going to find. He walked over to the bed and covered her sweet face with the white sheet and walked out.

Violence is all he knew till......then love is violence he knew that too the way Kirby fucked up his mother, violence was all he knew....they way he wanted to fuck her up for not trusting him enuf to tell him about this shit, everybody knew! know one helped her! 

Dem muthfuckers! Damn them all! tears begin to flow hot again like fire the heat in his chest his hands wanted to kill, his hands wanted to squeeze the life out of something somebody, his steps quickens down the hospital hallway nothing in his path was safe if he could go back just moments earlier, if he was quick wit he would of taken his 9 out of his waistband and blew his own brains out at the same time she left him the could of went together, before he could breath again he found himself in the hospital chapel standing in front of a huge cross. He let out a yell that startled the older white couple that was their, they didn't move he ripped off his black tee with Scar face and rhinestones right off himself and felled to his knees. In his mind he cursed God for his life and the people God put around him. He cursed God for taking away all the good people Tears flowing like fire down his cheeks hitting his body black like sable.......I never asked you for anything, never Grandmamma always said to stay humble, I never took more than I needed, never gave what wasn’t deserved. Eye for an Eye was written as your law. God please. Youngblood dropped his head and closed his eyes tight, through the darkness of his mind the cross burned burnt orange and glowed yellow, the angriness inside of him saw himself breaking out the two stained glass slit windows busting out the lights and barricading himself in there and blowing his brains out. And at the moment he pulled his gun out placing the barrel under his chin pointing upward right above his Adam’s apple, he felt a slight breeze that begged for him a moment dropping his arms to the side he felt it his friend his dove, his pretty white dove landing on his right shoulder. In his mind he knew that this wasn’t real, what was happening wasn’t really happening. Youngblood opened his eyes and the two slit windows had been broken out, he looked around him and that elderly couple was holding each other for dear life the doors had just been broken open by hospital security and their guns had been drawn. He looked down and in his hand he held his 38 Magnum. He could still feel the breezes slightly but he couldn’t understand what the man yelling was saying to him, his ears for some reason wasn’t working. Then from behind the guards he heard a voice screaming his name, screaming Girlies name….”she’s going to be all right! Son you hear me, Girlie she is going to be ok!” His eyes was searching for the voice, he didn’t want to be fooled again by his mind and he saw a guard pulling Girlies mom away from the scene. “Girlie is going to be alright!” Youngblood dropped his gun and fell to his knees and you know the routine from there a knee in the back of the neck, hands pulled behind the back...his stay wasn’t long shit it wasn’t anything that he could go through from that point on that was going to kill his spirits. He knew he would be in the arms of his baby soon, his baby that he was going to make lots of babies with. He knew that he had a son that he was going to do and be all of the daddy that he didn’t have and he knew a lot of people had the answering to do and that the street was wide open again and this time he was going to be smarter. This time he was going to do what he do…….


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Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi 7/31/2007
Your prose is as vivid as your poetry. It makes one hold one's breath and read right through. The world and emotions expressed in it are stark real and easily to relate to.
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/10/2007
I can never under this how can a fist prove to one that she is loved? What drive some men to be so abusive? Of course the next question will be, what drive them to cheat ... phew. sad thing is, we always go back.

God bless,

Reviewed by Aberjhani 3/18/2007
A lot of truth hungry for the telling fills the pages of GORGEOUS MONSTER. One of the qualities this reader finds most extraordinary is the way the characters' lives interweave on levels of intimacy and caution to produce relationships that are sometimes joy-filled and sometimes tragic. The brilliant threads of human connection, street realism, and spiritual symbolism intervweave to create an exceptional work of modern fiction.
Reviewed by NIKKO TANUI 3/13/2007
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 2/22/2007
sometimes even in the face of death....we still don't learn
thanks for reading
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/20/2007
Ditto Karen!!


Love Tinka
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/20/2007
O, this is powerful; but I have very little sympathy for controlling men! They make me mad!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(
Reviewed by Felix Perry 2/19/2007
Wow...real life and real time, this is where it is at.


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