Murphy’s Law

Oh, yes, we all know that mythical character, “Murphy”: He of “Murphy’s Law.”  He of the, “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong,” Law.

And, oh, yes, you, I am sure, as I have become captive to Mr. Murphy and his Law and to the countless addendums to Murphy’s law; for example:  “Humm, do I take a right or a left? Hmm?” Then, as so often happens – before GPS Systems, for those that have a GPS System – we’ll take a left turn instead of a right turn and, oh, yes, as so often happens it is the wrong choice. For example, cutting the hasp of a lock, then finding the key.

See what I mean: A couple of Murphy’s Law addendums.

Then there are those things that disappear seemingly right before your eyes like that wrench, like that screwdriver, like those small kitchen appliances, like your keys, cell phone or whatever. Yup! That is all the fault of Murphy and one of the countless addendums to Murphy’s Law.

Then again, in days gone by; in days before the advent “birth control” when there were only two ways to prevent a pregnancy, when, “Oh, my God! Guess what I forgot to put on!” Or, of course, then there was: “Well, honey, this is the first time we did ‘it’ without one.” And you know how that turned out; ‘cause nine months later: Yup, “ Whatever can go wrong, did go wrong!

Murphy’s Law!  

Hell, at one time, not too long ago, our ice bucket disappeared. Now, an ice bucket is no small thing… Well, in relation to a, say, in relation to a car an ice bucket is a small thing but in relation to an ice bucket, it’s no small thing and the damned thing just disappeared. We looked everywhere! Yup, taken by Murphy to wherever in hell Murphy takes stuff that just absolutely disappears.    

Now, as recently as last night.

So you understand:

Case in point:  

Oh, woe,

addiction being tested.

In need of a shower

out of those clothes

into the shower…

Dressed then,

then but…?

Lost and

couldn’t be found!

Addiction being tested.

Digging in the hamper

pockets turned out

where?

Oh, woe,

woe is me!

Searching,

searching 

bottom to top:

beneath the bed

behind the dresser.

Oh, woe!

Addiction being tested,

addicted since nine,

Never,

no never without,

Oh, woe,

woe is me!

Addicted since nine

never without

Chapstick

Never without!

Lips now cracking

blood coming soon

need a Chapstick fix!

Oh, Where

oh where is it?

Oh, woe

need a Chapstick fix,

oh, woe!

So, okay. So now, knowing what my addiction is, last night…

Okay, so, last night, about to fall asleep but needing one last, end of the day  “Chapstick fix” I reached to the dresser and, oh, woe! The tube was gone! Just gone!

So up out of bed I got and looked on the floor around the dresser. I looked on the floor behind the dresser and beneath the bed. I thought back to what I was wearing before I got into bed – and, yes, in case you’re wondering, I did look in the pockets of my pajamas. – Then, thinking it may have fallen out of my pants pocked, searched behind and beneath the sofa cushions. I searched under the sofa and then out into the garage onto and between and under the car seat.

By the way, you ever try retrieving something that fell alongside the counsel and car seat?

But could not then and have not to now found my Chapstick.

Fucking Murphy!

I hoped he’s happy with my ice bucket, too.

©May 1, 2013  / Mark M. Lichterman