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Regis Auffray

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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Whoosh
By Regis Auffray
Monday, December 01, 2003

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I don't know what this is.
A strange encounter with a stranger on a bus leads to... Whoosh!


ENTER BLOG:   12/01/03 5:47 P.M.
 

 
 

            “Whoosh est dans la douche.”
 

 
 

          It’s been a strange day or perhaps it would be better to say a strange couple of hours.  I think that I’ve got a few more minutes before she comes out of the shower so I might as well update my “blog” while this is fresh in my mind.  I still have difficulty believing what just happened so perhaps entering it in this on-line journal will allow the late afternoon’s happenings to sink in.
         
I granted my last class at the university an early dismissal, this being the last day in session before the Christmas break.  A lot of students had decided to take make a premature exit anyway so I did not feel very guilty.  I gathered up some papers to correct over the holidays and slipped them into my briefcase.  I dropped by the faculty lounge to extend my best wishes to some colleagues.  I walked out of the modern languages faculty office and headed for the bus stop.  There were several buses lined up but, with the university essentially emptying, the bus that I finally managed to get on was very crowded.  All the seats were filled and I felt like a kernel in a corncob.  That's not good for me.  I feel uneasy when there are too many people around.
         
After some moments I noticed that I was sharing the post that I held on to with a woman.  She had a knapsack and I assumed she was a student.  I am not particularly outgoing but when she smiled, I could not very well ignore her.  I smiled back.
         
She spoke.  “You’re a professor at the university aren’t you?”
         
“Yes, I am actually,” I replied. “How did you know?”
         
“Well, you are aren’t you?”  And she smiled a mysterious smile not unlike that of the Mona Lisa’s which has perplexed so many for so long.  Why did I think of the Mona Lisa now?  She did not look at all like her.  I felt a bit nervous.  I am really not one to make small talk with strangers but something about her, and I have to admit I don’t know what, made me want her to go on with the conversation.
         
“What’s your name?” she demanded.
         
Taken aback with this forward approach with which I am completely unfamiliar, I stammered a bit but answered, “Gerald.  Gerald Audray.  Most people call me Ger.
         
“Audray,” she said.  “That’s French isn’t it?
         
“Yes,” I replied.  “My parents were from France actually.
         
“I know that,” she said.  “My name is Whoosh.”
         
I tried not to show my reaction but I really was beginning to think at this point that she was having me on.  I almost started to panic.  I cannot stand the thought of being made a fool of particularly not by a woman for whom I was beginning to develop some early feelings of attraction and besides, women easily intimidate me without even knowing they’re doing it.
         
“That’s an original name,” I managed to say.  “Whoosh who?”
         
“Just Whoosh,” she replied.
         
I smiled stupidly not knowing what else to say.  I was still trying to figure out if she was being serious.  Her facial expressions did not give much away.  She did not strike me as a beautiful woman in the sense of a fashion model or a movie star but she was most definitely very attractive in the way she came across.  There was an undeniable aura about her which was almost palpable.
         
My stop came and went.  I thought that I would stay on until she got off and take another bus or a cab home.  She began asking me all sorts of questions and I continued to feel more than a bit silly because she seemed to know the answers before I gave them.  I don’t know how many times she said “I know.”
         
The bus arrived downtown at the end of the line.  Now I truly felt like a fool.
         
“You don’t live around here do you?” she asked.
         
“No. I missed my stop.  I live in Killarney Heights actually.  What about you?  You live around here?”
         
“No.  I was hoping you would tell me where I should stay.”
         
Well, what could I say?  The whole event was too unusually unlike my daily routine.  So without thinking, which is not at all like me, I took a chance.
          I did not know what to say so I mumbled,
“Okay then.  So.  All right then.  Well, if you have no place to stay, you’re welcome in my home.”
          I couldn’t believe I’d actually said that but she gave me no time to ponder and she did not appear at all surprised.
         
“I accept with pleasure and I am grateful,”  she replied.
          We took a cab to my place and she asked if she could use the shower.  I think she’s just about done because she stopped singing.  She’s got a great voice but I can’t recognize any of her songs.
Here she comes.  Whoa!?!...
 

          "Whoosh est sortie de la douche."

EXIT BLOG: 12/01/03 6:11 P.M.
 

 

 


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Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo 10/26/2012
Another interesting story Regis. You are not just a great poet. You are a great short story writer as well. I am confident that if you were to write a novel it would be spectacular. Ever thought of trying to do that? Write a novel I mean... I know you can do it. I believe in you 1000%.

What does that quotation mean if you don't mind me asking?
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley 10/24/2012
My my, right off if this is real or not, I am not one to generally make small talk myself and don't care for tight spots among others. I am more of an observer... secondly, I find it interesting that you use the term "aura" :) Lastly, I find it interesting since this short story was written in 2011, you refer to "Killarney"

All that aside, a truly wonderful story Regis, I much enjoyed it :)

Love and Light
Lily
Reviewed by Morgan McFinn 11/18/2011

Regis,

This piece reminded me of a similar experience I had going home after work in Chicago...on an elevated train. Curious that so many seem obsessed with what happened between you and the girl. I like it just the way it is.
By the way, in case you're wondering, I got laid!
Reviewed by Ruan Mills Burke 6/24/2011
Another marvellous tale, superbly told. Now I have to know, of course... What happened next?
Reviewed by J Howard 6/19/2011
what a fun write. i think bus travel would gain a renewed popularity if this chance meeting were to occur a bit more often.-you think? Fun story-but the ending...yes the ending...
jch
Reviewed by CJ Heck 5/14/2011
Clapping ... this is wonderful, Reg! I take it she (Whoosh) came out of the shower nekkid, right?
I enjoyed this very much!! More, more, more ...
Hugs to you,
CJ
Reviewed by Karla Yazzolino 3/17/2011
Well, I need more Regis!! Whoosh and then what...? I liked this story but need to know...Did she stay long?
Karla
Reviewed by karen logan 3/16/2011
Well! alright then, you wind me up and hold my feet! great beginning, I will watch for the rest of the story. I am the watchful eye of the cat. Love it Regis and I can't wait for more. Sincerely, Karen
Reviewed by Inspire Hope 7/21/2010
Oh my goodness Regis this is a very interesting story!
leaving me wondering what happened? Anyway very well
written! Thanks for sharing and caring!


Much Love,
Margaret
Reviewed by JMS Bell 7/6/2010
OKAY REGIS....I KNOW IT WAS SOME TIME AGO BUT AN ENCOUNTER LIKE THIS IS NOT FORGOTTEN AND YOU'VE GIVEN ME A WHOLE LOTTA 'FOOD FOR THOUGHT' HERE...SO WHAT HAPPENED??? THE 'WHOA!?!', MAKES ME THINK YOU GOT THE SHOCK OF YOUR LIFE...IT WAS A GUY? YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO DETAILS BUT...I GOTTA KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED???!!! REGIS, I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THIS IS ONE EXCELLENT STORY...YOU GOT ME HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. THANKS FOR SHARING THIS KEEPER. BLESSINGS AND LOVE, JOYCE*HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 5/14/2010
So vividly written, that I felt a part of the crowd on the bus watching it unfold. Although the charming ending leaves the rest to our imaginations, I'd also love to see you carry this one forward and tell us what happens next. Whoosh...how intriguing! ~Hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Darkest Angel 3/27/2010
Yo-----u are very, very good at this! I was so lost in this story; I felt like a by-stander--looking to see how well you would respond to such a lovely lady. How lovely, this is to read. :)
Reviewed by Nicole Weaver 3/18/2010
Regis,
I really like this piece. Leaves a lot to the imagination . Thanks for the interesting ending.
Nicole
Reviewed by Melissa Mendelson 12/3/2008
You are a great storyteller, and I enjoyed reading this piece. :)
Reviewed by Hatshepsut Maatkare 11/17/2008
Hi Regis. I loved this! The dialogue and description were so natural it painted a wonderfully vivid story. :)
Reviewed by Frank Bosworth 8/14/2008
Regis - I have now read & enjoyed four of your stories, enjoyed them all & will move on to read the rest. After these appetizers, I feel I must attempt, not a review, but a comment.

Your writing talent, storied ability, is to be complimented. You have this way of pulling your reader in early, building the characters & scenario, carrying us w/anticipation to the end...the end that never comes...how frustrating...but how playful. We want so much for you to spell out the end, to give us your imaginations ending, but you leave that to us...your readers...& for that I thank you. That is, I thank you for kick-starting my long tired, sleeping, even dormant imagination.

Keep 'em coming, my new writing friend. You most certainly have a handle on this writing thing.

Best to you,
FWB
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 11/29/2007
Regis,

I like how you open with - she's in the shower, and close with - she's out of the shower. Those parts give this "blog" entry a sneaky feel! The character is well developed for such a short story. We know how shy he is and how difficult it is for him to rendezvous with a stranger. Now that "Whoosh" is clean...whatever will they do? lol! -Sheila
Reviewed by David Perry 9/4/2007
Very good dialogue. Dialogue has to be among the most difficult of writing's challenges. Your's comes across natural and interesting, as though we're listening in to a real conversation.
Reviewed by d. k 7/28/2007
I had a real chuckle over this write! Well done! When the name Whoosh appeared well, I knew something was up with this young lady!! I hope you had a wonderful time.....*wink*

Smiles,
Dorothy
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/10/2007
I have the feeling that the whole punch is on the last line - what does it mean, Regs?! Lol. Enjoyed it nevertheless.

God bless,

Sandie.
Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson 1/28/2007
An intresting story .Some times when we meet a person, they have a certain persona about them, and one feels they have known them for ever. It never ceases to amaze me. A great write! .........M
Reviewed by Blue Sleighty 3/29/2006
Such a great story. I love accounts of those sudden, spontaneous encounters that some of us are so luccky to enjoy.

To enjoy them for what they bring us at the moment is such a great gift.

And sometimes, a huge pain in the ass, later.

GREAT write!

Blue Sleighty
Reviewed by Janet Bellinger 3/14/2006
This story is perfectly written, as all your work is. I like the sense of openness to it, and would like to find o ut more about Whoosh. Who was she, really? The unusual name definitely got my interest, as well as sympathy for being around too many people in the bus, for I feel that way, too.

Janet
Reviewed by Alexandra Riera 9/26/2005
It's great. It has open space for a huge amount of different developments and endings.... the obvious must not always be obvious...
Reviewed by Hilding Lindquist 9/19/2005
Perfect!

However, leaving the resolution to the reader means it is perfect up to the point of resolution ...

Though we don't see Thelma & Louise actually crash, we know they are going to when they go full bore over the cliff ...

If we didn't "know" the outcome, the drama would have been unresolved and the audience disappointed.

On the other hand, exploring an avant-garde form of short story is always of value ...

Best,
Gus

Hilding "Gus" Lindquist
Reviewed by Michael Ault 7/16/2005
Enjoyed it. Of course he was a complete gentleman...

Mike Ault
Reviewed by Cliff Chandler 7/15/2005
I don't know why I selected "Whoosh" as a first piece to review but I am glad I did. I was a passenger on your bus, watching the two of you engaged in non-verbal agitation. I couldn't afford a taxi so I watched you taxi vanish into our Muse. I will get back to your work as soon as possible. Thanks for the lift.
Cliff
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 5/24/2005
Very interesting! I love the feelings you gave yourself, and the thoughts on Whoosh! Of course, it could have been a wonderful relationship, or it could have been a deadly episode. We must imagine our own ending. <grin> Good mystery!

Peace.
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very 5/10/2005
Great story of mystery are you going to leave it unsloved???
This is a really fantastic emotional story can feel both sides there.
Merci' Reg
Tracey
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G 4/21/2005
Wow- Interesting Regis Auffray :) YOu have our minds wondering... Did he, or didn't he? GET Lucky... Did this relationship go another day or week? hmmm.... If so, lucky you.. if a story in the making of a novel, you kept me intrigued right to the END.. if it's the end...TerriFic Write up... Thanks! Oh, and Thank you 4 your sweet write up on my Poem--Sweeeeet words... Have a GREAT day! HuGs-Lady,Sheee
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 4/15/2005
Arrêter l'écriture de moi, Regis. ;-)
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 3/29/2005
Regis,

Drafted to perfection my friend ... terrific!!


Best to you,

Robert
Reviewed by Monette Bebow-Reinhard 3/26/2005
Okay, that's not fair, what does the last line mean? I have to admit being very intrigued because this is a lot like an encounter I wrote about in an unfinished novel, "For Heavens Sake," I've been working on for years. Like our minds our connected or something! This is a complete story in itself, you don't need anything more here. One change - where he feels uncomfortable in a crowd? A college professor is in front of a crowd all the time - maybe he has an average to the touch of bodies in a crowd. That stuck out at me, for some reason. But this was a fun read!
Monette
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 3/26/2005
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Phyllis Du'Gas 3/24/2005
This was absolutely delightful to read. Thanks!
Reviewed by Ron Henry 2/22/2005
This is an excellent example of taking a story and seeing where it leads. I don't know how you cretaed this, but it has a natural flow of action that is convincing and true to life. You leave me wondering "Where do we go from here?" Maybe you don't have to answer that. Some of the best writers leave room for the imagination to wonder.
Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 2/9/2005
i like this as well, very engaging, i could clearly visualize it.
Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi 1/22/2005
Est-elle sortie maintenant? Bon, c'est une histoire formidable, ca, est je vous remercie pour me laisser etre heureux avec vous pour quelques minutes (j'aime beaucoup le rire et votre situations sont tres amusantes). Je dois admitter, quand meme, que pour raisons Islamiques la douche si c'etais moi c'ete le fin d'histoire... Actuallement la question est: douche ou marriage? Mais il y a un solution pour tout. Il y a de gens qui dissent que j'ai un don pour jouer avec de feu, mais c'est la douceur de la vie. Cela est un point tres fort de votre "Whoosh", vraiment. Votre livre m'a fais beaucoup de joie. Merci pour ca.
Peut-etre vous pouvez lire ma poeme: "Vivre par hasard" et me dire si ma grammaire est correct? Cet ete tres gentile. Merci en advance.
mahdi
Reviewed by Pier Tyler 4/29/2004
Regis this is very engaging. I kept wanting to read more. Fantastic write.
Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick 1/13/2004
:-)
Reviewed by Sandra Corona 12/6/2003
Hi Regis,
I'm impressed--different use of the word "Whoosh" than mine--but where's the ending????
Do finish this as it seems we all were left 'showering' :)!
:)Sandy
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 12/2/2003
more! more~ AUTHOR!! AUTHOR!!! BRAVO~~~ *whistling and clapping enthusiastically at this wonderful write* (((HUGS))) and much love, your tx. friend, karen lynn. :D
Reviewed by Tami Ryan 12/2/2003
Regis,

"You had me at..." Whoosh. From the first line, I was enthralled. OK, I want more - darn you. Excellent writing!

Tami
Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster 12/2/2003
An truly impressive first draft. Enjoyed and waiting for more.
Reviewed by Sharron Tyrrell 12/2/2003
wow wonderful but you sure did leave me hanging
I hope you intend to continus the tale
now whooooosh I am out of here
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/1/2003
Hurry up I want to read part two....and hey I need a dry towel please....prof........hehehehe!!!

Most interesting story this!!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Bonita Quesinberry 12/1/2003
Great, Regis, for a first draft: few little things my Editor personality picked up on. Kept me interested and wanting to know more. ~~Bonnie Q
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 12/1/2003
Gosh darn it. I thought this was Biographical and I was waiting for Part 2. Well done, Regis!
Reviewed by Rebekah Rosie Lang 12/1/2003
I am blown away! Impressive!
You have written well my friend!
Will be waiting for more!
Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 12/1/2003
I agree, a most impressive first draft. It had me in stitches. I like your sincerity. Nothing here seemed contrived. Your dialogue is very natural, believable, and very honest. I could see her, by reading her dialogue, and the narrator's reaction to it. Which is wonderful - the art of showing and not telling in fiction, is hard to master. Thank you for posting this. Can't wait for the final.

Carmen
Reviewed by Susan Phillips 12/1/2003
For a first draft this is seriously impressive - and enigmatic. I liked it.


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