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Harold F. Hester

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Books by Harold F. Hester
Seventy vs. Seven tenths of a Second
By Harold F. Hester
Thursday, February 08, 2007

Rated "R" by the Author.

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           >> View all 38

Sex... some good...some not so good...

Four vehicle pileup on I-395 Snarled morning Commute

By Harold F. Hester

Washington Post Traffic Editor
Thrusday, February 08, 2007; Page D04

All four southbound lanes of the beltway at the Bradlick exit were closed for two hours during this mornings commute because of a small sedan and three fully loaded tractor-trailer pile up apparently caused by the sedan. There were two fatalities in a crushed late model sedan. The accident happened shortly before 0800 hours this morning. Frank J. Neimrod, 36 and Betty Sue Goodness, 24 died from apparent strange driving technique, as reported by eye-witnesses. 

Ambulances and firefighting equipment from the Silver Springs ward 22 were first on the scene and took over an hour to get to the bodies. Mr. Neimrod apparently died from a crushed chest after rear-ending an eighteen-wheel tractor trailer that had slowed for traffic. A fully loaded tractor trailer that had been closely following the sedan failed to slow in time and slammed into Mr. Neimrod’s KIA - crushing it. Mr. Neimrod was impaled on his steering wheel column and died on the scene. There was evidence he had been wearing his seatbelt but for unknown reasons had taken it off while driving. 

Ms. Goodness apparently choked to death as firefighters fought to free her from the wreckage. Paramedics at the scene discovered her wedged tightly under the dashboard with a male appendage (penis) lodged in her throat that apparently was bitten off near its base during the accident. Ms. Goodness was not wearing a seatbelt.

Drugs or alcohol were not a factor in the accident. 

An investigation is on-going and no charges have been filed at this time

Staff writer Dawn B. Daily contributed to this report.


Thirty-three minutes earlier at 0727 hours: (The part that was not in the newspaper.)

Frank picked Betty up from her home in Bethesda. They often shared rides with ‘shag-line’ commuters but this morning they were alone. Both were government employees at the Pentagon, he on the C Ring as a Systems Engineer, she on the A ring as a special assistant to the Chief of Logistics. They had attended many official social events together and over the course of a month and after many vodka martinis had developed a close bond as friends, lovers and companions-at-large.     

Today was to be not that different then the normal hectic pentagon work-day. Directing the many arms of the military around the world is at best chaotic but today’s calendars for Systems and Special Assistant employees and military personal on A and C ring was to attend a special “Sexual Awareness” seminar and workshop beginning at 1000 hours.  

WMAL radio was softly playing 1960’s music as Betty started the commute conversation by mentioning the class they had to attend. Betty said, “I talked with Mary-Beth yesterday after she went to this class and she said it was a real hoot. They had a slide show and Q&A and some of the Log Chief-of-Staff folks were actually embarrassed” she said.

Frank added to the conversation with, “Why the workshop, did someone get ‘groped’ in the cafeteria again? What started this mandatory sex class everyone has to attend?”

“No one was groped. This is just the annual thing we have to grace with your presence.” Betty said. She hesitated a moment then added, “From the way I hear it, yesterday’s class turned from ordinary sex and sexual practices, how to act and what can and can not be said or done in the work place to oral and that upset a few folks.”

“Oral? Oral what? Upset…how?” Frank was curious and serious in his conundrum.

“Weeeeeell, apparently from the way I hear it is the older crowd couldn’t follow the ‘oral’ part and started asking pointed questions,” Betty said.

“Such as….” Frank said just loud enough to be heard over road and radio sounds.

“Well… such as Admiral Wise asked the meaning of fellatio and a young Log intern answered her saying, ‘…it’s just a blow-job Admiral’”.

Frank seemed to blush at the terminology Betty continued with what she knew from yesterday’s classroom conversation saying, “The Admiral, as straight-laced as she is somehow came back at the intern with, ‘I always thought the word for that was Cunnilingus’.”

etty was grinning from ear to ear as she remembered things she had been told about yesterdays. She said, “The whole class kinda lost it when the Admiral got into it and before the dust settled no matter what the rank or age group everyone left the class much smarter and introduced into today’s language and terminology.”

“Think any words learned at the class will show up in any White House briefing?” Frank said in jest but there was still the tone of seriousness.

“I’m sure it will Frank honey. You know how
Washington works.”

Other then road noises, WMAL and some now heavy breathing, inside the KIA was quiet as Betty leaned a bit toward Frank as she said, “Why haven’t you ever allowed me to do that with you?”

“Do what - Fellatio?” Frank quietly said more toward the windshield then toward Betty. She was quiet for several more seconds before answering, “Yes”.

Frank seemed to try concentrating more on traffic as it had picked up to a bit over 70mph and everyone now were bumper to bumper. There were huge trucks all around them and it made him feel as if he was in a rolling tunnel.  

“Frank?” Betty’s voice brought him back to their reality. “You have never asked me to give you a blow job – why?”

Frank let his tongue wet his lips a couple times, he blinked before answering, “You want the long answer or the short one?”

“Short will do for now. We are close to our exit and I need to know before class.” She was grinning.

“OK. The short answer is – I feel – strongly feel fellatio, blow job, head, etc... That it is very demeaning to the girls.” He took a deep breath and continued, “I don’t feel, honestly feel there is not a girl, female out there anywhere that services men with their mouths because they ‘like’ it. I have always felt they do it just to please the man and the ladies do not get any pleasure from it – at all.” Before Betty could say anything, Frank said, “I once meet this young girl that had several ‘piercing’ on her eyebrows and lip and one she had was a ‘knob’ in the middle of her tongue. I asked her about it, ‘why she did it, did it hurt, was it in her way’ kind of questions and her answer surprised me. I had always thought when people had Tattoos or piercing they did it for themselves, that they were making a statement of sorts. She told me she did it ‘for her boyfriend’ that she did it ‘because he liked the way it felt during her ‘blow-jobs’.  For him… for him... That was all I was hearing. Everything was for him and nothing was for her. That’s the short version… I’ll give you the longer version some evening we have lots of time.”    

Traffic was steadily picking up as more feeder ramps opened and merging traffic speed seem to also increase.

The conversation seemed to arouse Betty a bit as she eased closer to the driver as she said, “Some of us get pleasure, Frank.” She didn’t sound convincing but she added, “Honest.” She was in easy reach of Frank by now as she put her hand on his thigh and slowly eased her fingers closer toward his lap and his crotch. 

The time was 0751 hours.

“Frank honey, have you ever had really good ‘head’?”

Her fingers were by this time in the crease of his leg and crotch. It was warm.

His eyes were darting from truck to truck to speedometer back to the trucks as Betty kissed his ear lobe.

The time was 0752 hours.

This was neither the time nor place but Frank said in his own defense, “I tried it once. Didn’t like it – the girl wanted me to climax into her mouth and I tried not too but the way she was ‘working me’, I had no other choose but do what she wanted – I gagged and felt really bad for her all the while she was gagging, spitting and swallowing. She looked like she had white snot all over her lips and cheeks.”

Frank shivered as he remembered that day so many years ago.

As Frank had been talking Betty had been busy unbuckling his seat beat and unzipping his trousers.

The warmth in her hands, her breath, her attitude, and his new attitude all changed in a heart beat as she reached inside his pants and pulled. “Frank honey, you have not had a blow-job until you have had one from me. I want you to relax and let me show you how it’s done. I promise not to gag – OK?”

The time was 0757 hours.

She took as much of Frank into her mouth as she could under the circumstances… and he did relax, leaned his head back and momentarily closed his eyes as he felt a hot tsunami wave race from the tip and circumference of his penis, back through his anus, up his backbone, circle to his guts as he felt her tongue circle, suck and the warmth of her lips completely encompass him. His thoughts were not of “what” but “where” his penis was and what was happening. The feeling was euphoric for the split second he was in never-never land then totally horrifying as he saw a blur of bright red truck tail-lights only inches from the hood of his KIA. 

Betty’s mouth was busy and Frank’s was open but there was no time… no time...

The time was 0757 hours and 32 seconds
as he felt the steering column enter his chest, the same time as he felt a searing pain in his groin.

The time was 0757 hours and 32.7 seconds as life left Frank J. Neimrod in a crumbled sedan in the middle of the beltway doing what he really didn’t like or enjoy.

The time was 0812 hours and 12 seconds
as life left Betty Sue Goodness grotesquely and horribly broken under a crumbled Korean dashboard doing what she really didn’t like or enjoy either but something that had become expected of her in her short life.        


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Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 2/10/2007
well written-poignant ending, i think

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