Wide–eyed in the darkness Carolyn lay awake in her bed staring up at the ceiling, and before she could help it, another heavy sigh slipped out. There just wasn’t any getting around it; like it or not the sun was going to come up.
Go to sleep already! Her thoughts echoed. You’re driving yourself crazy with all this. It’s all in your mind.
Turning onto her side, she yawned, an empty, sleepless yawn and tucked her hand under the pillow. What you’re going through is just one of those weird psychological quirks. Your anxiety is fueling itself. You’re just losing sleep and getting yourself all keyed up. It won’t be as bad as you imagine! It can’t be!
Carolyn kicked off the last of the rumpled sheets. Since she'd gone to bed eight hours ago her every attempt to rationalize away her growing sense of dread had provided no peace. In her real mind she knew full well some events in life can rush up and smack you like that proverbial ton of bricks, the actual experience far outstripping any imagined expectations; the intense reality of such a stark here–and–now taking on nightmarish characteristics beyond anything which could possibly be imagined.
Where her next thought led her, didn’t help at all. I imagine convicts on death row must experience something like this as their final hour approaches … the ultimate count down of terrifying anticipation. She swallowed dryly and her toes and fingertips went a bit cold and tingly as a vision of her impending reality hit her. Pushing back the ensuing pangs of paranoia, she fled back into her thoughts. What you've been going through over these last few day must be something like what a condemned prisoner experiences? Time passes slowly, then speeds up. It seems like it’ll never really happen, never really be 'that' day. Then it's suddenly here. Next comes that moment, the ultimate moment; and when it finally and actually does arrive, it must hit the doomed prisoner with a dose of reality most of us will thankfully never know.