||August 27, 2010
A radical take on loving relationships, where you are invited to find yourself, and then embark on the wonder of finding others
In day-to-day conversation Finding Your Other Half often means finding someone else - someone special. In spiritual conversations Finding Your Other Half often means finding yourself.
In this book both of these meanings apply. In the first part of the book you are invited to go looking for, and to find, the other half of yourself - not another person - but the other half of yourself. The key here is to be yourself - for how will your other half know who you are if you are busy pretending to be someone else?
Having found yourself Finding Your Other Half proceeds to finding quite a different depth and wonder in loving relationships - whether you are currently in a relationship or fancy finding someone special. In this part of the book there is no need to be found, or to rescue or be rescued.
And then there is the finding of a third 'other half' which is finding everyone else. This is sometimes described as 'oneness' and offers opportunities for a new way of being. 2012 here we come!
Welcome to finding your other half. You may wish to come out and play if you are
• Longing for something else
• Looking for more to life
• Feeling like something’s missing
• Waiting for the one
• Watching from the sidelines
How the game unfolds is to start by finding yourself. This may present a challenge if you have spent time and energy identifying yourself with things that are external – things like your clothes and appearance or the roles you perform. So there is a warm-up section to see how it feels to show up in your life before you get really stuck in to the game.
Having found yourself there’s a second game which is about finding someone else. Once you have found yourself then finding romance with a significant other is easy-peasy because having found yourself it’s a lot easier to tell what is you and what is someone else.
And then there’s a third half, played in extra time, which is about finding everybody else. More follows.
If you’re reading this and you have limited time you may wish to try out the shorter game which is in appendix one towards the end of the book. The shorter game also provides a good introduction to the style of the game.
If you’re drawn to the game the chances are that you’ll have tried looking for more to life in a variety of places and you’re still looking for the something, the missing piece or significant event or person that brings to you the sense of being complete.
Where and how you’ve been looking could be important too because it could be that in wanting to find something else you’ve also been looking for someone else i.e. someone who looks ‘better’ than you, who dresses differently, who is interesting in ways you don’t feel that you are.
So be warned, the game works when you work with what you have. You bring all of your stuff with you. The things you like, the things you judge yourself for, as well as the amazing potential that you dream about. All of this serves you.
Because finding your other half is a game it means there are rules and directions about how to play. All play is voluntary although the game follows a sequence: to play the games of the second and third halves it is recommended you find the first half first.
To put a little more detail to this: the first half to be found is the other half of ourselves. This other half resides in places we do not see like our sense of beauty, our sense of peace, our soul if you believe you have one, our sense of purpose and the answers to questions like ‘what am I doing here?’
If you want to know what this other half feels like then close your eyes and see in front of you two channels, or maybe a road or highway going in one direction with two lanes. In the left hand lane put all of your thoughts. Leave the right-hand lane free. When you are ready leave the left-hand lane or channel in which you are thinking and simply ‘drop into’ the right hand lane and experience this other half of you. In this lane you can ask to know more of yourself. Try it and see how it feels. This other half of you, the one you may be experiencing in the right hand lane, this half is referred to as your spiritual self - and in finding this half of yourself you find awareness of being complete.
The game of the second half is finding someone else. The focus is primarily about relationship and intimate relationship. It could be the discovery of a soul-mate or the tickle of a twin flame and finding this ‘other half’ does not necessarily help you to find completeness but more to help you know and experience yourself as complete. This is why the game of half’s is played by finding yourself first. To experience what the game of the second half is like try this: close your eyes and feel yourself as a ball of light. When you are ready bring in a ball of light which is compatible to your own and feel what this light is like in close proximity to you. Experiment with this light, see how it feels to merge these two balls of light into one whilst knowing that both are separate. This is something of the feel of the game of the second half.
The game of the third half is in finding everyone else. This game is optional and how you proceed in this game depends to a large part on your soul’s purpose. The game of the third half also refers to the attainment of ‘oneness’ in the sense that you can know and experience yourself as being at one with everybody else and with everything else.
In terms of spiritual development ‘oneness’ can also indicate a point of development where a person might choose to ascend: i.e. having understood that life exists to bring us to the point where we have experienced ourselves the soul might ascend to continue the journey of spirit leaving the body behind. However, in the game of the third half players may choose to bring their awareness back into the world to help define and live a new consciousness on earth. This might be described as bringing about a new way of being.
You can experience something of the game of the third half by closing your eyes and seeing yourself as a ball of light, and when you are ready, bring in everybody and everything else as light. Keep some distance between yourself as a ball of light and this oneness of light, and, being mindful that you are a separate being, immerse or merge with everyone else, and then return to yourself as a separate ball of light.
Ultimately the game of finding your other half is about being yourself, complete, and then experiencing yourself. How lovely, and why not?
The rules and directions about how to play and keep score as well as how to prepare for the games follow directly.
Game playing in relationships? Ever a good thing? It is if you play Finding Your Other Half, a blueprint for finding and creating strong, loving relationships. Engagingly written, this book is an inspiration for those who are fed up with not having found The One and contains vital information for those who wish to improve their existing relationships, whether romantic or not. It is crammed full of powerful exercises and ideas for creating a wonderfully loving life. I highly recommend it.
Editor, Kindred Spiri
Mystic Living Today
I loved reviewing this 134 page masterpiece that is completely adept at teaching the relationship game. Lighthearted and amazing this blessed ditty takes us through the simple yet major steps of finding someone that will complement our lives.... I enjoyed the total layout of this miraculous wonder. The game concept so worked for me.
First, the author teaches us to search deep within and become solid in our half before we go on to the second part of searching for someone to be with, the cool part is after step 2 the third step teaches how to let in everyone else. As a spiritual advisor I have had sessions with many clients who tend to put the cart before the horse when it comes to finding someone to spend their life with. So, the whole premise of getting me together first before I go looking for you really appeals to me. This much needed helper has made it's way straight into my spiritual toolbox and I recommend it to anyone seriously looking for a relationship. Thanks Declan, I sooooooooo love this book.
Love & Light,
The reader is invited to engage in a synthesis of practical and inspirational insights in spiritual development. A fresh approach that is timely and timeless. I found the book enjoyable and inspirational.
Dr Andrew Silver
Film producer and author
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