In a fast-paced, heartless, self-absorbed 21st century world, there live two young girls who live their lives in the past. They haven't any friends and most of their time is spent obsessing over the 20's and 30's and watching old movies but they enjoy it none-the-less.
The girls live in a small, sweet little apartment on the lower East side of New York.
Megan, one of the girls, works in Arby's and spends most of her time daydreaming about Dean Martin. She works 5-11 every day and when she gets home she piles on the couch with her buddy and the two stay up late into the night watching their favorite television show, The Colgate Comedy Hour.
Kim, the other gal, doesn't work but stays at home and keeps the house tidied up, although the place doesn't get too messy, the girls barely step foot off the couch, she spends her time raking in a little money on the side by teaching Charleston lessons.
Buy your copy!
Levitch and Crocetti
*Megg walks into the apartment and lays her work hat on the little table next to the door. She takes off her shoes and lays her coat across the back of a chair. She hears the faint sound of the Charleston coming from the other room. She goes over to the couch and turns on the tv. She looks over the collection of old movies and Colgate Comedy Hours they own. She picks up a movie and a Colgate Comedy Hour. She holds them side by side, trying to decide which one she would like to watch. About that time she hears the music shut off. Megg stands there still looking at the two DVD's she has in her hand. She goes through the other ones, seeing if anything else sparks her interest. The dancer and the instructor come from the other room*
Megg: Living It Up or Dean and Jerry as kids?
Kim: The kid's sketch...*she takes money from the dancer* No wait...the Ev'ry Street's a Boulevard Sketch..
Megg: I knew we'd come to a compromise *she smiles and finds the DVD with that episode on it and pops it into the DVD player and pressing play*
Kim: You're coming along nicely! *hands the man his receipt for his payment* So, I'll see you next week then?
Man: *nods* Oh yes! Thank you! *he grabs his things and smiles at her and then departs*
Megg: *watches as the man goes out the door* He's quite the looker...
Kim: *sits on the couch watching the episode with Megg* He's only doing it to impress his girlfriend, a vintage fanatic!
Megg: Oh, there seems to be...*she stares at Dean dancing around on the screen. Lost in yet another daydream involving some lovey dovey plot and the two of them*
Kim: Seems to be what? *she looks at Megg* Oh....*she sits back and watches the episode*
*After the episode is over, they talk over some guest performance*
Megg: So...do we have any plans for Friday night?
Kim: Do we ever have plans for Friday night?
Megg: I just thought maybe you'd have some interested dance students...
Kim: They all either do it to impress their girlfriends who like the stuff, or they're just girls who want to learn...
Megg: *sighs* If only....
Kim: I know pally...if only we could bring them here!
Megg: Why bring 'em here?! We should go back!
Kim: *Shrugs* Oh, what does it matter? It'll never happen either way...*she gets up and puts away her things from the dance lesson*
Megg: *pops in another DVD and dazes out in front of the screen, dreaming of Dean*
*Kim walks to the back room and begins to put away her dancing materials. She hears the faint laughter coming from the tv and sits down hard on the floor, taking a deep sigh, she loses herself, once again, in a daydream*
If only life were like it was back in the 30's (grrr, we should have used THAT title for this one!) The clothes, the people, *sigh* the men...
*Kim snaps out of it quickly when she hears Megg calling from the other room*
Megg: What would you like for supper?
Kim: *Walks into the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, which is pretty darn small, seeing as only two people live in the house* Why don't we go out for dinner to-night? You know, get away from this stuffy old apartment.
Megg: Yeah? *Helping with the dishes* Where do ya' wanna go?
Kim: *Laughs* Does it matter? We never like the food anyways.
Megg: It's hardly a choice when your options are greasy hamburgers or insanely expensive food I can't even pronounce!
Kim: How about that Italian restaurant Cosetta's? I hear Frank Sinatra ate there in the 90's!
Megg: Oh, that place? Well--
Kim: Aww, come on. Megg, we never get out of this house, and we haven't been there yet, so whaddya' say...can we try it?
Megg: *Looks to Kim, then to the dishes* ...All right, why not?
Kim: Woooohooo! *Sets the plates on the cupboard and dashes off into the bedroom*
Megg: Where are ya' going?
Kim: I'm gonna get ready!
Megg; *Pauses, then looks to the dishes. She sets the plates down and dashes into the bedroom as well* I'm comin' with ya'!
Kim: *Searches through her closet* Oh gee, pally, this is so exciting!
Megg: *Searching through her closet* I know! Should we dress up? I mean, is it a fancy place?
Kim: Probably not, but I don't care...let's dress up anyways; how often do we have a girls night out?
Megg: Every night.
Kim: I mean a girls night OUT?
Megg: *Scoffs* Never, we're always IN.
Kim: That's what I mean!
Megg: *Mumbling* Not that I mind it, I mean...*laughs* I love the Colgate Comedy Hour, but I need a little "out" time.
Kim: And that's what to-night's about, Megg. Who needs guys?--
Megg: I do!
Kim: *Laughs* Maybe you'll find one to-night.
Megg: Probably not. I never do.
Kim: You have such high expectations! No man can compare to Dean!
Megg: Same with you! What about your love, huh?
Kim: *Stops thumbing through the clothes and shoots a glare over to Megg* What about him?
Megg: Honey, I highly doubt any man can compare to your fella.
Kim: *Silence, she continues searching through her closet* I can't help it. And neither can you! That's our trouble...
Megg: *Sigh* I know...
Kim: Maybe we're not meant to get married...maybe we're supposed to stay single all our lives and watch the Colgate Comedy Hour!
Megg: *Looks at Kim, dead glare*
Kim: *Catches Megg's stare-of-death* Okay, I'm sorry. Maybe YOU'RE not meant to be single, but maybe I am. All these guys I teach just say they have the *mocking tone* "BEST girlfriends" I just--*sigh*--I just can't compare!
Megg: Kim, you and me have something these other girls will never have.
Kim: *Chuckles in disbelief* And what's that?
Megg: *Pulls out a gorgeous black dress and holds it in front of her, smiling* ...Class.
Kim: *eyes the dress and nods approvingly of the choice* Yeah, but unfortunately, class doesn't cout in today's world! *she pulls out a beautiful dress herself*
Megg: Oh, I like it, I like it!
*the two share a chuckle*
Megg: There's gotta be two fellas out there who have some appreciation for refined, classy women...
Kim: They just don't live in New York!
Megg: No...they live in the past...they're dead...they've been dead...
Megg: *shrugs and walks into the bathroom, putting her dress on. She comes out and picks out a nice pearl necklace and some matching earrings. She sits at a vanity and puts on some lipstick and touches up her nailpolish while Kim is getting changed*
*Kim walks out in a red number and searches around for her accessories*
Megg: *looks in the mirror, checking her hair and lipstick* Why are we going to some place where...*says the name with disdain* Frank Sinatra....ate?
Kim: Because it's classy...
Megg: As long as they don't play his music *shudders*
Kim: Not every man can sing like Dean...
Megg: It's a pity...a real shame! Oh well...our princes will come...one way or another!
Kim: *grabs her bag* Well, I'm not planning on kissing any toads!
Megg: *grabs her bag as well and checks herself over one more time* Who said we had to do that? *she chuckles. They walk back out into the living room*
*Kim turns off the Television and the two grab their coats and get ready to walk out the door. As Megg is putting on her coat, she turns*
Megg: Oh, I almost forgot...*she blows a kiss to a picture of Dean that she has sitting on top of the TV*
Kim: *rolls her eyes, and when Megg isn't looking, blows a kiss to a picture of Gary*
*the two head out and hail a taxi*
Kim: Cosetta's, please.
*The driver nods and clicks his tongue*
Driver: You got it babes.
Kim: *Rolls her eyes then looks to Megg* Someday, pally, we'll have respectable men who won't treat us like cattle.
Megg: Someday isn't soon enough...
*After a while, the two come to the restaurant and sit down at a table*
Kim: *Looks around* Ooo, this is nice.
Megg: *Paranoid* Yeah, but one song of Frank's and I'll case this joint.
Kim: *Chuckles* Calm girly, let's just enjoy the meal and go get some ice cream afterward, how does that sound...
Megg: *Smiles evilly* Doooooonn't--
*Kim throws her hand over Megg's mouth*
Kim: *Quietly* Not in public places, remember? No one understands...
Megg: *Humphs back into her chair and gives Kim an evil stare as Kim begins to order her food. She mumbles* Un-grateful witch--
Kim: *Looks to Megg* What was that?
Megg: I said, look at that great dish!
Kim: *Looks back to the waitress and continues ordering*
Megg: *Continues to slump back in her chair and roll her eyes*
*The waitress asks for Megg's order as well, then walks off*
Megg: *Points* Kim, look....
Kim: *Follows Megg's point* What?
Megg: Isn't he gorgeous?!
Kim: *Squints* Who? Where?
*She points to a tall man with jet black hair and green eyes*
Kim: $5 He's married.
Megg: I know! Look at the size of that RING!
Kim: Polite...remember that, Megg? Be full of it, okay?
Megg: *Shushes Kim* He's walking.
Kim: *Rolls her eyes* Call the press, the man's walking. He has feet, Megg, what's he gonna do, fly?
Megg: Shut up, will ya'?
Kim: Oh, right, man walking...can't interrupt.
*The man walks past Megg and Kim and sits next to a table with an "eh" girl*
Kim: *Spins around in her chair and looks to Megg, smiling*
Kim: See? What did I tell ya'?
Megg: *Glares at Kim* You know, sometimes I think you just place these gorgeous men in joints like this and pay them to ignore me.
Kim: No, Megg, they're just all taken. I can't help that and you know it.
Megg: *Sighs* I'll find him someday...you better believe it.
Kim: *Yawns* I will pally...I'll believe it when I see it.
Megg: *sighs* The only problem is I gotta find a man with a wedding ring on...that's single...
Kim: *gives Megg a concerned look* Good...luck with that, pally...
Megg: Why do you say it like that?
*the food arrives and they eat, converse and Megg tries checking out other men's rings*
Kim: Well honey...usually...when they wear a wedding ring...it means...oh..how do I break this to you softly...*a little too loudly* THEY'RE MARRIED!
Megg: Indoor voices Kim...Indoor voices...
Kim: *rolls her eyes and eats some of her food then she points to a man* He's not so bad!
Megg: *turns to look and checks out his hands* Nope...no wedding ring!
Kim: That's a plus for us...
Megg: A plus for you! Dang my homewrecker tendencies!
Kim: *tries to pretend like her friend is sane and looks at the man, who is dining with another man*
Megg: It looks like a business affair or something, we shouldn't bother them...
Kim: Are you only saying that because they don't have wedding rings on?
Megg: NO! I'm saying that because they are dressed in suits and ties and have briefcases...*let's out an exasperated breath*
Kim: Maybe on our way out we can get their attention...
Megg: And invite them for ice cream?!
Kim: Who needs ice cream?
Megg: *in nine year old voice* You promised me ice cream!
Kim: Yeah yeah...we can invite them out for....ice cream...*she looks at the men while she eats, and Megg is still checking out men with wedding rings on*
*the waiter brings the bill and the two look it over*
Megg: Well, that's a fair price for not hearing any Frank songs!
Kim: *figures out what each of them will have to pay and then digs her half out of her purse* You have to pay 12 dollars...and I'll leave the tip..
Megg: *digs and puts the money on the table*
Kim: *hushed* Now, when we walk by their table to pay our bill, act refined and full of clsas..none of this nine year old stuff, okay?
Megg: *holds up three fingers* On my honor I will do my best to spare the basic...
Kim: Oh stop it!
Megg: *salutes and stands up*
*They walk past the men's table and to the counter to pay. Kim acts refined, and Megg over acts the "refined" and the men laugh*
Kim: *Looks to Megg then to the men who are mocking them* You know what? We don't need you anyways...
Megg: Yeah! *looks them up and down, disgusted-like* You AND your ugly bare fingers.
*Kim pulls Megg away and the two head out the door, heading to the ice cream shop*
*They walk in and look around*
Megg: Oooooo, ice cream!
Kim: *Looks up to the clerk and smiles weakly, leaning into Megg* Whaddya' expect, clam chowder? This is an ice cream parlor!
Megg: *Giddy* I know but just LOOK at them all!
Kim: *Embarrassed, she looks up at the clerk again and asks for two small cones*
*The clerk smiles, making eyes with Kim and gets the cones ready*
Megg: *Pulls Kim aside* How come you always get the guys?
Kim: Because honey...I'm not looking for men with wedding rings on their fingers...
Megg: I don't want wedding rings! I want just a plain ring!
Kim: No such thing exists.
Megg: You're stupid, you know that?
Kim: At least stupid people can marry, sweetheart.
*The clerk hands Kim the two cones and smiles once more*
*Kim smiles back and blushes, handing Megg her cone.*
*Megg walks to the table and sits down, Kim begins to make light conversation with the man but gets cut short when Megg clears her throat a little too obnoxiously*
Kim: *Looks to Megg* Sh!
*Kim continues to speak with the man, but Megg keeps interrupting*
Kim: *Turns and looks to Megg* You shush me one more time and I swear on Dean's voice I will snap you like a twig and lock you in the back room until the next CCH boxed set comes out.
*Megg gasps and hisses, holding her two index fingers up and forming a cross*
*Kim turns her attention back to the clerk but he's long passed vanished*
*The girls walk out of the parlor and begin to head home*
Kim: *Sigh* Why must you be so...awkward?
Megg: *Licking her cone* I can't help it...
Kim: *Laughs* I know. You and me both.
*The two sit and finish their ice cream and take a stroll through the park on their way back to their apartment. Megg searches through her purse for something. She takes out her cell phone and checks for messages*
Megg: Darn! Not a single message!
Kim: What were you expecting, some cute guy to miss-dial your number and leave you a message?
Megg: No...*puts the phone back into her purse* It's pointless anyways, no one ever calls me...You know...we should just force ourselves onto men...maybe then...
Kim: Then they would be repulsed by us even more...it's bad enough now that they don't talk to us because they think we're crazy!
Megg: Kim, we are crazy!
Kim: Yeah...but we can't let them know that...don't you see...that's what drives them away!
Megg: Ho ho, and Balderdash!
Kim: Okay...see that man over there...You go over to him and be yourself....just be....you...and see how long it lasts!
Megg: *looks at the man* I can't!
Kim: And why can't you?!
Megg: He doesn't have a wedding ring on *she gives Kim a cheesy grin*
Kim: *slaps Megg's arm* Oh, stop it! Now go! *she pushes Megg in the direction of the man*
Megg: *swats at Kim* Yeah...I'm goin....stop pushin'! *Megg walks halfway over to the man and then stops and turns around walking back to Kim*
*Kim shakes her head and waves her hand, motioning for Megg to turn around and keep on walking over to him*
*Megg turns around and deliberately over-acts on the sexy sauntering. The man notices her and laughs*
Megg: Excuse me sir...
Man: *looks up at Megg* Yes?
Megg: I couldn't help but noticing....well...
Man: *gives Megg a strange look* Yes?
Megg: Well...how...how handsome you are...*does one of those nervous/idiot laughs that are so Jerry from CCH*
Man: *gives her another strange look* Are you alright? *he moves away from her a bit*
Megg: No...*nods her head* You know what? I'll be right back...*she dashes over to Kim*
Kim: What are you doing? He hasn't left yet!
Megg: I look like a bumbling idiot!
Kim: Well, keep trying....
Megg: *turns around and goes to walk back to the man, stunned to see that he actually didn't walk away. She turns around and looks at Kim, confused* Keep trying what? To be an idiot?!
Kim: NO! *shoos her away* Now go! He hasn't left yet, you're battin' a thousand, sister!
Megg: *runs back over to the man* Sorry...I just...I had to check something with my friend...Would you...*sits next to the man, and he scoots away from her* Would you like to go out for a drink or something?
Man: I don't even know you! *he gets up and walks away*
*Megg sits sad and dejected on the bench. Kim walks over to her and sits next to her*
Kim: A whole five minutes pally! We'll have to work on this...
Megg: *gives her a look* Work on this?! It'll never work!
Kim: Sure it will! After all, we can't stay single forever!
Megg: Fine, if you think it's so easy...let's see you try!
Kim: Alright, I will!
*Kim gives Megg an over-confident smile and Megg points to a tall feller a couple benches down*
Kim: *Looks over* Him?
Megg: *Nods and smiles*
Kim: *Nervous, but puts on a tough act* All right.
*Kim goes to walk over, but Megg pulls her off to the side*
Megg: Walk over like a lady!
*Kim bats her eyes, fluffs her hair violently, and begins to stride toward the man, but Megg pulls her aside again*
Megg: No, walk over refined...
*Kim puffs up her chest and walks towards the man but Megg pulls her back once more*
Megg: No! No...ya' gotta relax a little...
*Kim slouches over and begins to drag over to the man but Megg swats at her and yanks her by the arm*
Kim: What! I know maybe...1 other way.
Megg: All right, try that.
*Kim runs her index finger over her eyebrow and begins to walk over, she slaps the man on the arm, he nearly goes flying and she winks*
*The man looks her up and down*
Kim: Hiya kid, *snaps gum* let's say you and me go over to da ice cream parlor and get some razzle dazzle, whaddya' say?
*The man smiles big and takes her by the arm*
Man: I'd love to, baby!
*Kim stops, and removes herself from the man's grasp*
Kim: *Faintly* Never mind.
*Kim walks back over to Megg and Megg begins to laugh*
Megg: Yeah...you're MUCH better than me, Kim.
Kim: *Silence* I'd rather not discuss it at the moment.
*The girls walk back to the apartment, up the steps and open the door*
Megg: *Lays down her coat and sits on the couch, she looks to Kim*
Kim: *Walks into the kitchen, grabs a box of popcorn and sits down* I'm whi'chyou pally. Let's never leave the house again, all right?
Megg: *Turns on the CCH and laughs, digging into the popcorn box* You got it, pally
***The Next Day***
Megg wakes up and tries not to disturb Kim as she gets ready to go to work. She's not looking forward to going to work. She dislikes work because it doesn't allow her to watch the Colgate Comedy Hours. She gets ready with limited noise and heads out the door to start her unextrodinary day. She thinks to herself as she walks along.
Megg: I hope the time flies faster than it did yesterday...if only they got my jokes...if only I could make them see what they're missing out on! Nah! None of them will listen! *she walks on and opens the door, walking in to work. And so begins the her day.*
***Back At The Apartment***
Kim starts her day by watching some CCH while eating breakfast. She leaves the DVD's running and turns up the TV while she cleans up the few dishes from breakfast. She goes into the "Dance hall" part of their apartment and sets everything up for her first student. She goes into her bedroom and changes into her dancing outfit. She goes back into the dancing part of the apartment, the room set aside for her lessons, and she warms up by doing a few dance routines. She notices something strange about the wall. The spot right next to where the full length mirror is hung. She focuses on it while dancing. She stops and goes to the kitchen to get some water.
Kim: Please...just let one of them not have a girlfriend they're trying to impress!
She turns to go back into the rehearsal room, but the knock on the door comes from the first student. She answers it and greets him.
Kim: Mr. Linterman…please…come in…
The two walk to the rehearsal room and they start. The whole time Kim cannot stop thinking about that weird spot on the wall. She keeps looking at it. She has a strange feeling about it, but she can’t quite place it. After the lesson is over she decides to go check out the spot.
Kim: Oh, just a piece of wallpaper coming off…*she plays with it* The landlord will probably charge us extra when he sees that…*she rips it off despite what she just said. She goes to walk away, but notices something IN the wall….*
*She peels off the rest of the paper and begins to feel herself get overly excited, yet nervous at the expense this little discovery could cost! But she continues, in hopes that Megg will pay for it all*
Kim: *Stands in awe as the image begins to form right in front of her eyes. It's large with metal handles and the object is taller than her and wider than the fridge. She peels back the rest of the wallpaper to find...* A time machine?!
*She laughs it off in disbelief as she continues to stand in front of it. She's not quite sure what to say...and neither is the student*
Mr. Linterman: I think I'm gonna get going, Miss Kim. H-h-ave a good day.
*Without hesitation, Mr. Linterman bounds out the door. Although not quite believing his eyes, his main reason for making a break for it is not so much because of the overwhelmingly large machine in the WALL of this gals apartment, but because he doesn't want to be present if the machine is found to have drugs stashed away inside.*
*Kim runs her fingers over the metal, unsure of what to think at the moment*
Should I call Megg?
*She looks at her watch and decides against it.*
Maybe if I open it up, there may be a note or a letter from the previous owner...
*She scoffs off the ridiculousness of this whole situation and pauses, wondering if she should even turn the lever, but curiosity gets the better of her, and she gives in*
*She opens the door and steps inside, looking around. She finds a couple buttons and gently glides over them with her fingertips*
*The doorbell rings and makes Kim jump from the sound. She accidentally leans on one of the buttons and the door slams shut and lights begin to flash alarmingly fast.*
*The machine begins to make loud noises and continue to get louder at every passing moment*
*Kim beats on the door, but it's no use, the sound echo's as if there's nothing on the other side.*
*The noises begin to grow more faint and the lights begin to dim softly. She waits for a couple moments and looks around, listening to make sure it's safe to exit*
*She pops her head out of the door just briefly to find herself in...a back alley? She cracks the door open just a bit further and steps out.*
Kim: *Looks up and around* I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
*She chuckles to herself and walks along side one of buildings. The street's full of vintage cars and classy people with charming suits and dresses on.*
*Confused, Kim walks out a bit more to take a look around. She decides to make her trip worth while and head for the first fella she sees pass by on the street*
Kim: If the first fella I talk to smiles and acts....polite, then I'll know this isn't a dream.
*Kim walks up to a man standing on the corner waiting to cross; she clears her throat and smiles kindly*
Kim: Hello, I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you tell me what the date is today?
*The man turns around and smiles sweetly.*
Man: Why sure, the date today is February 25, 1946.
Man: Is there anything wrong, miss?
Kim: *Dazed* No...no, I'm fine. *Snaps out of it and smiles weakly* Thank you. *She goes to walk away when she thinks Why not? What could it hurt? She turns back to the man and clears her throat* Do you happen to know where Gary Cooper lives?
*The man looks at her and laughs*
Man: You know him personally?
Kim: Well…not really.
Man: No one knows where Gary Cooper lives. That information isn't given to the public...*he leans next to Kim* Do you know how many women would be flocking to his door if they knew where he lived?
Kim: *Sighs* Do you at least know what state he lives in?
Man: Nope, sorry. I wish I could help you, but not a lot of people really know; some say Montana, others say California...
Kim: Oh well, thanks again for all your help.
Man: *Tips his hat* No problem, miss.
*Mr. Linterman walks out the door, thinking to himself, I always knew there was something wrong with those two! He quickens his pace down the street.*
*Megg comes home and walks into the apartment. She sets her keys down and puts her coat over the chair once more. While putting her coat on the chair she says what she says every day...not even turning to see if Kim is on the couch in front of the TV."
Megg: What episode today?
Megg: *turns and looks at the couch* She couldn't have gone somewhere....Where would she go?
*She goes through the house and doesn't see Kim. She notices the strange spot on the wall that Kim was playing with earlier. She thinks nothing of it and goes into her bedroom and changes her clothes. She walks out and sits on the couch, turning on the DVD player and watching some CCH*
***Back In 1946***
*The man tips his hat to her and crosses the street. Kim stands, watching the man cross, still dazed*
This can't be real! This isn't possible!
*She pinches her arm to make sure she isn't actually asleep*
If this is 1946...how do I get back?! I GOTTA SHOW THIS TO MEGG!
Kim: Okay...this has got to be a dream...and if it is...then surely someone here can tell me how to get back to 2007!
*She walks over to a woman she spots gazing into a shop window at a gorgeous display of hats*
Kim: Excuse me Ma'am...
Woman: *turns* Yes?
Kim: *hesitates* It's...*thinks about what she's about to say and how crazy she will look if this is actually real* What can this hurt? It's not like I'll ever see this woman again... *she thinks out loud* What if I go back and get Megg but can't get back to the past?
*The woman gives a concerned look to Kim*
Kim: Okay...Could you...*sighs and says quickly* Can-you-tell-me-how-to-get-back-to-2007!?
*The woman laughs at Kim and walks away*
Kim: *shrugs* I guess I'll just have to figure this out myself...*she walks back over to the weird contraption that brought her to 1946 and gets in.* This thing has to have instructions somewhere....
*She looks around and finds nothing. She closes her eyes and waves her finger around all the buttons and then presses one. The machine starts making noises and the lights begin flashing. She notices a thing that looks somewhat like an odometer. The number displayed on it is getting bigger. She claps and cheers.*
Kim: I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! *looks at the buttons* Now, which button did I press?! half shrouded in darkness, the scotch glass in hand. She also see's Jerry turn around.*