Humor

60

Mason Bricklin has met Edna Roe, the girl of his dreams. He has six weeks to win her heart. Can he overcome the advances of his worst enemy, Collier, or the gossip of his best friend, Darnell? Join the fun as Mason's secret plan exposes side-splitting laughter for the whole family.

 If you want funny - Read "MASON BRICKLIN"          L. Olson - Florida

Excerpt
"Ouch!" I yelled. "Quit throwing rocks, jerks! Ouch! Quit it!"

I was mad. My two older brothers were throwing rocks at me. They were supposed to throw clods.

"I quit," I said. "Now give me my money."

"What money?" Larson, my sixteen-year-old brother, asked.

"You know. The money you promised to give me for hitting you with clods."

You quit," said Dell, my fifteen-year-old brother. "When you quit, you don't get paid."

"You guys are liars," I said.

"Boo hoo, you little worm," said Larson.

There wasn't much I could do. I was only ten and not nearly as strong as my brothers. I didn't care. I ran at Larson with all my might and hit him in the chest as hard as I could. He was an oak. I bounced off him like a gnat on an elephant. I was in trouble. Whack! He hit me in the nose. My nose started to bleed.

"You think a bloody nose bothers me?" Larson asked.

Whack! He hit me in the nose again.

Fighting Larson was suicide. I turned my attention to Dell, who was twenty pounds lighter than Larson.

I punched Dell in the stomach as hard as I could.

You little slime bucket," said Dell.

He wrestled me to the ground. Dell sat on top of me; his knees pinned my arms.

"Do you give up?" he asked.

"No!" I yelled.

Whop! He hit me in the middle of my forehead. A knot welted up.

"Do you give up?" he asked again.

"No!" I yelled defiantly.

Whop! He hit me again; a second knot rose beside the first.

"Do you give up?" he asked a third time.

"No!"

Whop! A third knot appeared.

"Okay! I give up!" I yelled.

Dell let me up. He laughed and turned toward Larson. Whop! I hit him in the back of the head as hard as I could and ran away. I knew Dell was faster than me. I had to do something to escape his wrath. I ran to Dad's drilling rig, which was only fifteen feet away, and started up the derrick. Dell grabbed my pant leg and tried to pull me off the ladder. He pulled, and I kicked my leg as I tried to free myself. My pant leg tore at the knee. My pant leg remained in Dell's hand, and I scurried up the side of the derrick.

I climbed to the derrick board and scanned the countryside. Dad's drilling rig was a small truck mounted unit. It was a single drilling rig which meant only thirty fee joints of drill pipe could be stacked in the derrick. I couldn't believe I had climbed the derrick. I was terrified of heights. I looked around. The view was incredible.

"Come down here, you little puke!" yelled Dell.

"Yeah, sure," I thought. "I'll come right down and be your punching bag. Does he think I'm crazy? I'm waiting until Dad shows up before I go down."

From my vantage point I spotted a car two miles away headed toward our location. It was Dad's car. We were in trouble now. Dad will be hopping mad.