As we Baby-Boomers care for our aging parents we're faced with the last big question: How shall they leave this life? Standing The Watch tells of how one son and daughter-in-law did it. Although Standing The Watch at a home death is no walk in the park of peace and harmony as it can be frightening, time-consuming, worrying, stressful, unpleasant and tedious, it's also fertile ground for courage, discipline, stamina, spirituality, compassion, loyalty, humor and love.      In Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift, the author's 89 year-old father-in-law, Lincoln Brown, is in a Seattle hospital where he's just been given three months left to live. He chooses to return to his cabin in the Olympic Peninsula rainforest where he can die in his own bed with his own things, his faithful companion Buddy-dog and his family.      Weaving excerpts from the medical log she had to keep for the State with memories, e-mails between friends and essays about what came up for her, R. J. Brown shares with you what it took to Stand The Watch for her beloved Poppa's final days.      So who has the time to waste waiting for someone to die? There's nothing money can buy that gives more comfort. Nothing anyone can do other than give of themselves and their time to bid bon voyage, for in the meditation of Standing The Watch you are in the pulse of life, totally present in the here and now, giving unconditional support.      And the greatest gift? It goes both ways: you giving of your strength and caring with the understanding that this time it isn't about you, while your parents, for the last time, give you this once-in-a-lifetime experience.      If you've decided to care for your parents in their final days, R. J. Brown's memoir offers answers to your questions, insights into your worries, a bibliography of comforting books and lists of useful things to know.      "Loved it! What a wonderful tribute and I wasn't at all offended." May Tracer, another who stood The Watch for her father. Excerpt As a person who has lived most of my life in as much denial as I can muster about death, Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift was just what I needed to wake me up and reeducated me about dying and death. Before reading this book I never believed that giving a loved-one a home death could be a gift to both the dying and the living. You will be swept away by the love that fills this book and the stories of other deaths and times as Rebecca shares her past. From the Foreword by Lynn Lott, M.A., M.F.T. Father and son are home and this woman's heart is whole again. Now begins the lessons in oxygen, pain relief and the life of the dying in our family. I've been skipping about my chores, hearing myself as a little girl, chirping: Daddy's home! Buddy-dog won't leave Poppa's side, snuggling as close as he can, laying his big head on Poppa's lap, sniffing, nudging and licking his hand when it stills, ears a-quiver at every word, breath, snore. Such a picture of devotion. Buddy-dog has taught me much about starting each day with a brand new heart, eager for play and adventures, always being ready to love, bottomlessly.

Reader Reviews for "Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift"

Reviewed by Glenda Bixler	10/15/2008
Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift By R. J. Brown Big River Press ISBN: 978-0-9798744-3-7 You may think by reading the blurbs for Standing the Watch: The Greatest Gift by R. J. Brown that this book is about death and dying. It is not! This book is about Life! And giving the greatest gift that can be given to a parent or loved-one(s)—giving them the best possible life they can have as they live out their last days, months or years! For my mother, who had been living with me for many years, it was not a time of turmoil as I cared for her. She simply and quietly died in her sleep. I had only one thing to do for her right then—I immediately put a new pair of slippers on her worn feet as she had asked me to do. But for some individuals, there are not only medical issues to be attended to; there are logistical issues of concern, based upon where a family lives. And then there is the burden that is placed on the caregiver(s) as time goes on and stress and strain develops. Standing the Watch in its second edition provides not only specific issues to consider, but, more importantly, in my opinion, the writer shares exactly what happens—both the good and the “not so good.” David and Rebecca had already made a commitment to Lincoln, David’s father, that he would live with them after his wife died. And after many years, as Lincoln’s health failed to a point that he was considered terminal, he asked for another commitment—for him to be allowed to die at home. Standing the Watch is the story that centers in on those final days of Lincoln’s life¾a story that should be read by everyone old enough to understand and grieve at the death of another! It should also be read and taken as a learning tool for pastors, doctors and friends of those who are caregivers! I found that I could read this story from two sides—as a potential friend of Rebecca and David, as they lived through their pain and worry. The other side, as an individual who could very well be in the role of caring for loved ones in their declining years. This book does not need a review that tells you about the storyline, for we all know what occurs. It does, however, give you specifics about what must be done at that time, in one book, with places to make notes...and with checklists that can be reproduced easily and used! Rebecca writes this book as if she is sitting, talking to you. You feel her disgust when Lincoln, who had been a missionary, has a pastor who cannot be bothered to visit him during his last days. You see her inclusion of email friends’ notes, which obviously were so meaningful that they kept her and David going when inner strength was sagging. But, no matter what, you will see the love of a family, facing one of the toughest, most life-changing events in anybody’s life—the loss of a loved one. This book should be on your home bookshelf because you never know when it will be needed—to share with others in the same situation, to learn and brace yourself for the future, or to guide you day by day as you and a loved-one face the dance to the death. Some readers will search for this book at that time; but I urge you to read and be prepared...for Standing the Watch really is about now—and living and loving! G. A. Bixler For IP Book Reviewers

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