Divinely Inspired is one man's story to lift himself out of the despair of Bipolar Disorder, near suicide, neurotic behavior and scientific cheating to emerge on a path to God and His Ten Commandments. The author's transformation from a damaged and ravaged soul to merging into G-d's Light is seen through the unusual miracles of Divine Intervention.
Since the beginning of time, humans have tried to understand God’s Essence. However, not even the most brilliant and enlightened minds among us can comprehend Him because simply put, “God is.” If we understood the mystery of God, then why would we need to have faith? Perhaps the best we can hope for is to recognize when we are visited by God. We then have the opportunity to bring real change and meaning to our lives.
Divinely Inspired is one man’s story to lift himself out of the despair of Bipolar Disorder, near suicide, migraines, anxiety, neurotic behavior, and scientific cheating to emerge on a path to God. Jerry Pollock’s transformation from a damaged and ravaged soul to merging into God’s Light, as outlined in Divinely Inspired: Spiritual Awakening of a Soul, is seen through unusual miracles of Divine intervention that initiated the author’s spiritual journey. Jerry’s climbing of the spiritual ladder is a very gradual and personal process as he tries to improve his flawed character. He comes to realize that God is the master scientist responsible for both Evolution and Creation. As his story unfolds, readers are inadvertently empowered to embark on their own spiritual journey, as best as they can, by adhering to the Creator’s original self-help plan, The Ten Commandments.The author contends that the Ten Commandments are the basis for all self-improvement. This memoir represents the author’s first steps to stand in God’s place of Holiness. His own journey of belonging to God is continued in his new novel, the Messiah Interviews, to be published in paperback form in January of 2009 along with a printing reissue of Divinely Inspired.
By the late fall of 1982, I had divorced Rhea, been promoted to full professor at Stony Brook University, and was planning to marry Marcia on Christmas Eve of the following year. My life focused around Marcia, our five children, scientific research, and Primal Therapy. I was heavy into my feelings, now that the therapy was so much a part of me. For the previous year, I had recorded all of my feelings, and by the fall of 1982, I had filled up seven research laboratory notebooks with my handwriting, each book consisting of three hundred pages. There was a lot of repetition and I seemed to have reached a plateau in terms of making further progress. In an unusual display of frustration, I brought the seven notebooks to the edge of my Poquott loft and proceeded to throw all of them in one thrust onto the floor below. I felt like Moses smashing the first set of Tablets on which the Ten Commandments were inscribed. Moses had become enraged when he came down Mount Sinai and discovered that the Israelites had built the Golden Calf. The sounds of the books crashing were subdued by a loud and strong male voice that was definitely external.
I heard the words very clearly, “And you shall be Mine.” I remember being both startled and afraid, because I neither knew whose voice this was nor could I figure out how the voice got into my cottage. There was no bipolar disorder or manic depression back then, so I couldn’t blame the voice on the illness. It was about two weeks later when I heard the voice again. This time the words were slightly different: “And you shall have.” Could this be the true voice of God, I thought. However, I didn’t dare tell anyone what had happened, not even Marcia, until ten years later. I simply ignored these mysterious events and went on with my life, but the words of the voice never left me. Why did this happen? I had no explanation. I kept the books, recording my Primal feelings, for many additional years before dumping them in the garbage along with my three Primal Therapy textbooks. I was to discover twenty years later that I would need these books again.
I don’t know the exact date in March of 1995, but I knew this was my day to die. You would think that I would have recorded the date for posterity. I didn’t. Nor did I even think about leaving a suicide note to Marcia and my kids. I still had my Canadian codeine and aspirin pills that I had used for my headaches since childhood. My mother brought them to me on her trips from Toronto. At the time of my suicide plan, I had two bottles each of a hundred pills. Erin was home from spring break from Ohio State and had gone shopping with Marcia to Garden City, which was about forty-five minutes away by car. Some time had passed since they left, and I kept thinking about the pills and being free of the torment in my body and mind. Finally, I got the courage to get up and open the bottles and then I began swallowing.
At first, I took one or two at a time, but I was a pro at taking handfuls of pills simultaneously with a minimum amount of water. After a while, it became easier and easier to keep taking the pills, and in a short time I had downed both bottles, two hundred pills in all. I went to lie down in our
bedroom and then it hit me: it was too late to reverse the process. I remember thinking that I would be dead and my pain would soon be over. I wasn’t afraid. In fact, I felt a peace and a calmness that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. They say that you know when you’re going to die, and I
think I sensed that feeling. However, I didn’t see a tunnel with a light at the end, which people who have been close to death speak about. I was at peace and I drifted off to sleep, only to be awakened by Marcia and Erin.
As soon as my eyes opened, I blurted out to Marcia what I had done. She immediately called 911, and the Nesconset Fire Department was at the house within minutes. Our local volunteer fire department has been simply amazing, having come to our house twice before to put out laundry dryer fires. At first, I refused to go with them, and they were about to leave because they can’t help anyone against his or her will. Marcia turned to them and begged them to stop, and then she turned to me and pleaded with
me to let the firemen take me to the hospital. I recognized that look on her desperate face and gave my consent. She had a way of reaching me like no one else.
Before I knew it, two firemen lifted me off the bed onto a stretcher. I remember thinking how strong they were. On the way over, I was desperately trying to understand where I was and where we were going. I seemed to be in a surreal state. In no time at all, we were at the emergency room in the then St. John’s Hospital off Route 25A in Smithtown. A caring general practitioner was on duty that night. More doctors and nurses rapidly moved about as they began to work on me. I had no clue what was in store for me. I had to urinate very badly, and I remember asking one of the nurses to help me go to the bathroom. However, there was no way that I was going anywhere and I was given a metal container to pee into. I started to urinate but I guess I didn’t have my penis in the container, because the urine went all over me and the sheets. It felt so degrading and I felt so humiliated. One of the nurses on duty didn’t make my embarrassment any easier. When I asked her if someone could help clean up the sheets, she made a nasty remark about how to use the urinal. Then a doctor came over, probably at this nurse’s request, and placed a catheter into my penis. I never had a catheter before and it felt awful.
At the same time, I was so uncomfortable, being six foot two trying to lie down flat on the hospital bed. My feet stuck out far beyond the length of the bed, and I felt my back beginning to ache. Soon I was to feel more discomfort. The nurses began to pump my stomach by inserting this awful tube through my nose. Now I finally understood what the young girl was trying to tell me about her emergency room suicide nightmare experience. I remember her horrified look. She had shook her head and told me, “You really don’t want to go through this.”
After several hours, I was given a bed and I fell asleep. Marcia and Erin stayed with me virtually the whole time. It was touch and go whether I would live or die during those first forty-eight to seventy-two hours, as I was later informed by Marcia. The doctor had told Marcia that had she not found me when she did, it would likely have been too late to save me. Marcia and Erin had been in a restaurant forty-five minutes away and had ordered their lunch when something came over Marcia. She told Erin, “We have to leave. Something is wrong with Dad.” Marcia has always had these advanced warning signals in her life. Call them extrasensory or psychic if you wish. I believe these powers in Marcia’s case come from God. They quickly left the restaurant without being served and came home to find me drifting off into death. Marcia saved my life that day.
Midwest Book Review, James Cox
Divinely Inspired: Spiritual Awakening of a Soul by microbiologist and biophysics expert Jerry Pollock is the story of his personal journey beyond Bipolar Disorder into the embrace of God's love. Professor Pollock has written aq candid and moving spiritual guide to accepting the wisdom of God. The pages of this published testimony areaptly written to accurately reflecting Pollock's faith, and offers unforgettable guidance and encouragement to fellow seekers to shed emotional negativity and devastation to search out God's blessing within the context of a mature and maturing spirituality.
Denise's Pieces Book Reviews, Denise M. Clark
A touching narrative that reaches out to the reader and proves that it is never too late to find God. The author believes and rightly so, that the original Ten Commandments are not only to maintain order in achaotic world, but they are also in essence, the source for any human efforts to self improvement. A thoroughly engrossing narrative style, and almost conversational tone makes this an easy, fast and extremely satisfying read, yet one that leaves the impact of a gentle loving wallop, if there is such a thing.
Paige Lovitt (12/08) Reader Views and Additional Reviews
"Divinely Inspired” is written about one man’s spiritual path and how his life experiences brought him through a great deal of spiritual change. It is written from a Jewish perspective; however, I feel that people of religious backgrounds, who respect his belief system, will relate to Dr. Pollock’s story. For myself, I enjoyed learning more about the Jewish faith.
Each of us progresses down our spiritual paths at different paces. Dr. Pollock tells his personal story
with a great deal of honesty and self-revelation. I appreciated his willingness to share both his personal successes and failures with us. It gave me greater insight into his story. He had to deal with both an emotionally damaging childhood and manic depression. By reading “Divinely
Inspired” it will help us further our own personal journey and provide us with a great deal of motivation.
As a child, Dr. Pollock held his feelings in. He did not get the nurturing that he needed from either
parent. He had a lifetime struggle of trying to win recognition and love from his parents. He learned
to use pills to deal with the pain. It wasn’t until he was in his forties that he learned to work through these issues through therapy. Then he began to learn to express his emotions. He found a great deal of success using primal therapy. This actually seems like an unusual form of therapy for a research scientist; however, he found that it worked for him.
Because Dr. Pollock is a scientist, I really appreciated how he blended his scientific beliefs into his
spiritual beliefs. He offers one of the most fascinating discussions on creationism and evolution that I have ever read. He covers a variety of interesting theories in this section.
Dr. Pollock tells us, “When you totally trust in God, you do so because you feel confident enough
that when you do it, God will be there to assist you.” Accepting this belief awakens our souls to a higher state of spiritual being and provides us with inner-peace, self-confidence, self-respect and self-worth. What more can we need for ourselves? I highly recommend reading “Divinely
Inspired,” and Dr. Pollock’s other book which I really enjoyed, “The Messiah Interviews."
Paige Lovitt Reader Views (12/08)
"The reader cannot help be impressed by the honesrty and courage of this spiritual memoir. The author aims to help people attain inner peace. I hope that the author succeeeds and achieves his purpose."
Chaim Seymour,American Jewish Libraries
"Most people thank goodness only know insufferable stress from the accounts of others, but those who know it from personal experience will take comfort from the ways in which the author has contrived to find a peaceful way to handle his battle with anxiety, manic depression, migraines, and that sense of emptiness and sadness."
Ian Tattersall, Ph.D., Curator of Anthropology
American Museum of Natural History
"The author writes from a Jewish perspective on spirituality and admits that it would perhaps best serve a Jewish audience, but I have to disagree. No matter what faith we carry, if any at all, we can all learn something from this book. Its honesty is both liberating and refreshing."
Elizabeth Batt, Elizabeth Batt Book Reviews
"Jerry Pollock has discovered that very few men of science like him have. We each have available to us, if we recognize and seek it out, a loving and supportive force, an organizing intelligence that in reality is the being of all of us."
Steven Hawlings Martin, Author of Keys to the Kingdom
"Through primal therapy, he exorcised his painful youth and then his feelings guided him to his spiritual rebirth into the paradigm of the Judeo Christian tradition. That the author is able to provide intellectual, psychological, historical and spiritual content is impressive. A Tilt-A-Whirl of a biography."
Audrey De LaMartre, Steps for Recovery
"In his provocative book, Divinely Inspired, Dr. Pollock details his personal journey to his discovery of God that helped him overcome more negativity than one person should suffer. Here is a story that begins in the depths of despair, physical and mental illness, uncaring and cheating parents and a deep sense of inadequacy; and ends with an understanding of not only spirituality but of faith."
Richard Fuller, Metaphysical Reviews
"The strength and uniqueness of this tale is its sense of reality, even grittiness and steaminess, not found with most books dealing with personal spiritual growth. Pollock’s book is of interest to anyone suffering and looking for spiritual guidance and how spirituality and related beliefs are incorporated into one’s life."
Henry Berry, The Small Press Book Review
"Courage, wisdom, and strength and the unrelenting desire to teach rather than preach are what the author arms himself with. This book has had a profound effect upon me. I’m not only considering what is written among these pages as a description of experiences. I’m considering it a handbook for those seeking to get on the right path."
Jennifer Hollowell, J.M.H. Creative Solutions